Of my own self I can do nothing. It is The Father / Mother within me that doeth the work. Dearest handful of intimate friends I have need of you. acientflaxman, Phyllis, Debbie, Jilly, Lori, Connie et. al. The pain I feel is real and I hurt for every one of my children. I AM The Eternal Mother within brooding over my charge. For my charge is all life everywhere. The Pain of being incarnate. Yet solace comes from deep within. When will my children put away their toys of violence ? When there is hatred, violence, murder and mayhem -- I feel it. Doesn't matter if it is on the other side of the world. It is me and I hurt. They cats know. They are here to comfort me. Yet they are of the elemental group soul. We are supposed to command the elements and elementals to obey the edicts of the sons and daughters of god. So to the maturing process is bittersweet. Yet mature we must, for the eternal mother woos us forward. Yea, forward. I have resisted her wooing yet she has broken me time and time again. "It is appointed once for a man or woman to die -- then the judgement". An oft quoted yet most pernicious and misunderstood Bible Quote.

The death of the ego -- the death of separateness -- the death of I, Me, Mine -- there is no such thing in the all-encompassing wedding garment of the mother.

Existential Nihilism ?

Mother Dear Mother, Play with me, look at me, hate me, love me but please do not ignore me -- pleadeth the soul.

We are of her seed.

We are strangers in a strange land.

The Constellations have struck and it is time to have fostered upon us Matter-Realization, not materialism.

The world prances and dances and pipes their tunes of materialistic death.

Yet, this is not the case at all.

The birthing, the travail, she knows what is best.

Anti-Christ will come?

How long will nature herself have to contort, twist and violently vomit our own mis-creations back upon us until we learn?

Love will not be turned back for it is the cohesive enduring force through all dimensions, eternities, ages and epochs.

It is eternal in every sense of the word.

Travail is not pleasant yet it is satisfying in the long run.

Blessed Be.

I Am.

-- Burt B.

Alone am I or not.

I do spend a lot of time alone trying to keep my psychology at an even-keel.

Sometimes I can scare the hell out of myself.

Weird.

Burt.....I am scared too sometimes. It is a natural human emotion. I find that I am having a harder time keeping an even keel lately because I do not have a lot of time alone in a quiet place. At least you have that, but don't let your mind run away with you.

I hope you know that you are definitely not alone. Connie and your kitties love you, and you are here among friends on this forum who care very much about you. You are always welcome here.

Love is indeed eternal. Blessed Be.

Dave......you've shared some great words to ponder, once again.

I know that God and the Great Mother only help us if we help ourselves. It has always been that way. Blessed Be.

Thank You Debbie.

You are strong.

Your tone is strength.

Blessed Be.

-- Burt B.

As long as we don't get caught helping ourselfs

Thank you, Burt. People tell me all the time that I am strong, but I hardly feel that at all when I am struggling with a tough issue in my life. I think I often get through hardships with the help of a kind word or deed from caring people like you, Burt.

We are here to comfort and help each other. That is the wish of the Mother. Blessed Be.

Comfort ye my people.

Strong is nice but I pray that the Eternal Mother shall bring you a physical mate as her cycles permit and when you are ready.

All That Is Good and IS REAL i.e. Israel is yours eternally.

Remember, we volunteered to take on physical form.

Blessed Be.

Burt B.

Burt......you are a very kind man. Thank you for your words of comfort.

Since the passing of my dear boyfriend I had thought I could never do this again.....to delve deep into love only to have my heart ripped to shreds, yet again. I have a big trust issue to boot that won't go away any time soon. I thought to myself...I will be alone for the rest of my life, and I will not be happy. I just can't take another painful event like this and survive it.

In the past few days I have done a great deal of personal reflecting, and I have also done research on human bonds and spiritual connections within those bonds. You are right, Burt, and I am acquiescing. I will again try another intimate relationship with another human being. We are indeed in physical form, and I can't fight what is. I have too much love to give, and to squelch it would be very destructive to my psyche. I want to give and to receive physical touch. I know my boyfriend would not want me to be alone for the rest of my life.

I am a bit afraid to try again, but I also pray that in time down the road when I am ready, God and the Great Mother will send me an angel when the time is right. It happened once before. It can happen again. In the meantime I have to concentrate on healing my spirit and living the legacy my dear boyfriend left behind......a strong faith, positivity, love, caring, giving, and tenderness. He gave me so many gifts in life, and in some ways he is continuing to give me what I need.....the opportunity to focus on what lies within me, and the presence of mind to know that there is more than just the physical realm.

I am comforted. Blessed Be.

Debbie, I wish that you were closer so that we had more time to converse. Allow me please to speak freely and if I totally P--- you off you can delete this post immediately.

From where I stand it seems like anyone would be a fool to not want to be your friend or even more. Your capacity for love and understanding, as I said before, is unequaled. It is so needed on this forum as well as any others.

Allow me to say this. No guy on earth is worth having that much love bestowed upon him without the same given fully to yourself by yourself!!!!!!! I could be very wrong about this and if others on here disagree with me let them throw the rotten tomatoes now, O.K?.LOL

Fractured as my viewpoint is at times I think I see this correctly. Maybe those around you, even on here might care about you more than you do about yourself.

That is a seemingly inherent problem with many people today myself included at times. Our self worth can be so adversely affected to where we cannot seem to even keep our heads above water.

I suffered a lot until I learned to truly love me. You know my philosophy of living in that I put myself above no-one yet I had to reach a point to where I said," Dave you are one COOL dude!! People are crazy to be around you. Man do you look good in the mirror. I want a friend just like you!!!! Everybody should be just like you!!!

O.K. O.K. I went a little overboard but speaking those things in the mirror whether I truly believed them or not at the time gradually pushed me into those very precepts. Then I had to put action to my affirmations by spending quality time with me. I took myself out to dinner. I went to the movie by myself. What COOL company I had!! I started doing hobbies again that I liked yet let go of in earlier years for whatever reason. I even found a new one or two.

It took time but I started believing in myself. My wife could not help me with this. No-one else could. It was up to me only. Maybe we won't have to beat them off with a stick some day but we will have no problem having good people around us if we think good and positive thoughts of ourselves.

I hope that I haven't offended you in any way, but just given you a mirror to look good in. your brother, dave