logo

THIS IS THE NEW SERVER - WE ARE STILL TWEAKING IT
Channel List
Beauty & Self
Books & Music
Career
Computers
Education
Family
Food & Wine
Health & Fitness
Hobbies & Crafts
Home & Garden
Money
News & Politics
Relationships
Religion & Spirituality
Sports
Travel & Culture
TV & Movies
Safety
We take forum safety very seriously here at BellaOnline. Please be sure to read through our Forum Guidelines. Let us know if you have any questions or comments!
Newest Members
Virginia Lawton, Carol Turner, rc5924, kmfrn, Rob Beck
57971 Registered Users
Forum Stats
57,971 Registered Members
417 Forums
116,417 Topics
827,919 Posts

Most users ever online: 615 @ 04/22/15 10:11 AM
Top Posters (30 Days)
Nancy Roussy 356
Mona - Astronomy 133
Styxx 119
Michelle - Teen & Reading Editor 117
Connie - ADD/Sandwiches 70
Angie 49
Lisa LowCarb / VideoGames 46
Susan - Meditation Editor 25
Angela - Drama Movies 25
Deanna - New Age 21
Ad Income Supports Charity
Topic Options
#789428 - 10/24/12 04:09 PM What would you do? Midlife Crisis
Lori - Marriage Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Koala

Registered: 11/26/09
Posts: 2691
Loc: Orange, CA USA
Fear of getting old triggered a midlife crisis. A new motorcycle was one thing, but a new girlfriend? What do you think? What would you do?

Midlife Crisis and Marriage


Edited by Lori - Marriage (10/26/12 11:27 PM)
_________________________
Lori Phillips
Marriage editor

BellaOnline.com Marriage
Twitter: @BellaMarriage

Dreams editor
Bellaonline.com Dreams site
The Dream Collective
Dreams: What are you trying to tell yourself?
Twitter: @tweetdreams4u
and @flutterby03

Top
#789429 - 10/24/12 04:10 PM Re: Midlife Crisis and Marriage [Re: Lori - Marriage]
Lori - Marriage Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Koala

Registered: 11/26/09
Posts: 2691
Loc: Orange, CA USA
Also, did you or have you ever re-thought your marriage? Why? Do you feel you've grown apart?

_________________________
Lori Phillips
Marriage editor

BellaOnline.com Marriage
Twitter: @BellaMarriage

Dreams editor
Bellaonline.com Dreams site
The Dream Collective
Dreams: What are you trying to tell yourself?
Twitter: @tweetdreams4u
and @flutterby03

Top
#789897 - 10/28/12 12:19 PM Re: Midlife Crisis and Marriage [Re: Lori - Marriage]
Elleise - Clairvoyance Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Elephant

Registered: 04/13/05
Posts: 4023
Loc: TX
Ouch...ouch and double-ouch!

I "feel" for this situation. I have 2 clients (given permission) to speak generally, going through similar circumstances.

The son, who recently moved away, in Cheryl's situation, could have been a barrier, that kept things connected on some level.

The "youthful" spending, hair and clothes...that's almost a strike 2 and facebook, probable meetings, etc. (in my book) would be strike 3. But that's just me.

What to do?

Emotionally, as far as confrontationally, I would strongly suggest nothing but for the fact, you're noticing changes. Don't go poking around. Instead, outsmart the situation.

Reason being: defenses, defending of actions, even more fighting and triggering justification for doing things out of anger and covering actions up, comes into play. If it's all out in the public right now...the bulb hasn't quite gone off yet wink

Secondly, nothing is LESS attractive to a man, pulling away, than a desperate woman clinging to their pant leg (figuratively speaking). Even if you're the most independant woman in the world, "pining" isn't attractive, when a person is going in another direction.

What I WOULD do, is begin protecting some of your assets. Open up an account somewhere that's all yours, even stowing certain things away here and there.

I'd also start breaking up the normal "routine" around the house, myself, by not always being where I'm expected, hours of the day, making dinners all of the time, etc.

I'd use the opportunity to explore myself and see as well, is THIS all there is and ALL I WANT TO BE?

I may be perfectly content with who I am, but when the grounds shift, moving with them instead of against, keeps you on your feet!

And if HE begins noticing your absence, a new look, clothes, hair style, what have you, simply tell him he's been of inspiration to you. You'll look great and feel better just for having tried something new smile





Edited by Elleise - Clairvoyance (10/28/12 12:36 PM)
_________________________
Karen Elleise
Clairvoyance Editor
Clairvoyance Site

Top
#792515 - 11/13/12 08:40 AM Re: Midlife Crisis and Marriage [Re: Elleise - Clairvoyance]
Debbie-SpiritualityEditor Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Elephant

Registered: 01/08/10
Posts: 4655
Great ideas, Elleise.

My husband went through a mid-life crisis, complete with emotional breakdown. He cheated, decided to stay with the new woman, and divorced me. I don't think he got exactly what he wanted out of the deal but he remarried quickly and forgot about me in the blink of an eye. He threw away a 19 year relationship that was not a terrible one and that could have been saved. I was willing to do the work, but he felt that marriage should not be any work at all. What I could not give him he thought he could get elsewhere, but I know he does not have it yet. Never will.

I never understood before what a mid-life crisis was or what it could do to a marriage. I know now.
_________________________
Debbie Grejdus
Spirituality Site Editor
Spirituality Forum Moderator

Top


Want to reply? Register as a Forum Member - it's quick, free and fun!
Brand New Posts
Dessert for today?
by Styxx
Desserts
6 minutes 0 seconds ago
Cosplay Carnival 2016
by Styxx
Costuming
24 minutes 59 seconds ago
What did you SPEND money on today?
by Styxx
Frugal Living
Yesterday at 11:20 PM
What kind of tea did you have today?
by Styxx
Tea
Yesterday at 09:00 PM
What Are You Listening To Right Now?
by Styxx
Pop Music
Yesterday at 08:55 PM
What Are You Reading?
by Michelle - Teen & Reading Editor
Reading
Yesterday at 07:38 PM
Where Is Your Library?
by Michelle - Teen & Reading Editor
Reading
Yesterday at 07:30 PM
Who Are Your Favorite Authors?
by Michelle - Teen & Reading Editor
Reading
Yesterday at 06:37 PM
Sailing Into a Storm
by Nancy - Cruises
Cruises
Yesterday at 06:31 PM
The Characters You Love And Love To Hate
by Michelle - Teen & Reading Editor
Reading
Yesterday at 06:29 PM
Register to Post!
Want to post? For security reasons you need to Register as a Forum Member. It's quick, easy and free!
Forum Activities
Book Clubs
Trivia Contests
Who's Online
1 registered (Styxx), 72 Guests and 3 Spiders online.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Ad Income Supports Charity



| About BellaOnline | Privacy Policy | Advertising | Become an Editor |
Website copyright © 2015 Minerva WebWorks LLC. All rights reserved.