logo

Channel List
Beauty & Self
Books & Music
Career
Computers
Education
Family
Food & Wine
Health & Fitness
Hobbies & Crafts
Home & Garden
Money
News & Politics
Relationships
Religion & Spirituality
Sports
Travel & Culture
TV & Movies
Safety
We take forum safety very seriously here at BellaOnline. Please be sure to read through our Forum Guidelines. Let us know if you have any questions or comments!
Newest Members
Camaur Crampton Family La, David Faulkner, shravani, pinoyako, Audrie
58364 Registered Users
Forum Statistics
Forums417
Topics119,386
Posts847,341
Members58,364
Most Online449
Mar 28th, 2018
Top Posters(30 Days)
Angie 19
Sponsor
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
#789428 - 10/24/12 11:09 PM What would you do? Midlife Crisis  
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 2,691
Lori - Marriage Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Lori - Marriage  Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Koala

Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 2,691
Orange, CA USA
Fear of getting old triggered a midlife crisis. A new motorcycle was one thing, but a new girlfriend? What do you think? What would you do?

Midlife Crisis and Marriage

Last edited by Lori - Marriage; 10/27/12 06:27 AM.

Lori Phillips
Marriage editor

BellaOnline.com Marriage
Twitter: @BellaMarriage

Dreams editor
Bellaonline.com Dreams site
The Dream Collective
Dreams: What are you trying to tell yourself?
Twitter: @tweetdreams4u
and @flutterby03
#789429 - 10/24/12 11:10 PM Re: Midlife Crisis and Marriage [Re: Lori - Marriage]  
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 2,691
Lori - Marriage Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Lori - Marriage  Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Koala

Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 2,691
Orange, CA USA
Also, did you or have you ever re-thought your marriage? Why? Do you feel you've grown apart?



Lori Phillips
Marriage editor

BellaOnline.com Marriage
Twitter: @BellaMarriage

Dreams editor
Bellaonline.com Dreams site
The Dream Collective
Dreams: What are you trying to tell yourself?
Twitter: @tweetdreams4u
and @flutterby03
#789897 - 10/28/12 07:19 PM Re: Midlife Crisis and Marriage [Re: Lori - Marriage]  
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 4,024
Elleise - Clairvoyance Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Elleise - Clairvoyance  Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Elephant

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 4,024
TX
Ouch...ouch and double-ouch!

I "feel" for this situation. I have 2 clients (given permission) to speak generally, going through similar circumstances.

The son, who recently moved away, in Cheryl's situation, could have been a barrier, that kept things connected on some level.

The "youthful" spending, hair and clothes...that's almost a strike 2 and facebook, probable meetings, etc. (in my book) would be strike 3. But that's just me.

What to do?

Emotionally, as far as confrontationally, I would strongly suggest nothing but for the fact, you're noticing changes. Don't go poking around. Instead, outsmart the situation.

Reason being: defenses, defending of actions, even more fighting and triggering justification for doing things out of anger and covering actions up, comes into play. If it's all out in the public right now...the bulb hasn't quite gone off yet wink

Secondly, nothing is LESS attractive to a man, pulling away, than a desperate woman clinging to their pant leg (figuratively speaking). Even if you're the most independant woman in the world, "pining" isn't attractive, when a person is going in another direction.

What I WOULD do, is begin protecting some of your assets. Open up an account somewhere that's all yours, even stowing certain things away here and there.

I'd also start breaking up the normal "routine" around the house, myself, by not always being where I'm expected, hours of the day, making dinners all of the time, etc.

I'd use the opportunity to explore myself and see as well, is THIS all there is and ALL I WANT TO BE?

I may be perfectly content with who I am, but when the grounds shift, moving with them instead of against, keeps you on your feet!

And if HE begins noticing your absence, a new look, clothes, hair style, what have you, simply tell him he's been of inspiration to you. You'll look great and feel better just for having tried something new smile




Last edited by Elleise - Clairvoyance; 10/28/12 07:36 PM.

Karen Elleise
Clairvoyance Editor
Clairvoyance Site
#792515 - 11/13/12 04:40 PM Re: Midlife Crisis and Marriage [Re: Elleise - Clairvoyance]  
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 4,797
Debbie-SpiritualityEditor Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Debbie-SpiritualityEditor  Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Elephant

Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 4,797
Great ideas, Elleise.

My husband went through a mid-life crisis, complete with emotional breakdown. He cheated, decided to stay with the new woman, and divorced me. I don't think he got exactly what he wanted out of the deal but he remarried quickly and forgot about me in the blink of an eye. He threw away a 19 year relationship that was not a terrible one and that could have been saved. I was willing to do the work, but he felt that marriage should not be any work at all. What I could not give him he thought he could get elsewhere, but I know he does not have it yet. Never will.

I never understood before what a mid-life crisis was or what it could do to a marriage. I know now.


Debbie Grejdus
Spirituality Site Editor
Spirituality Forum Moderator

Brand New Posts
What are you looking forward to today?
by Nancy Roussy. Self Development
04/26/18 04:49 PM
Where are you and how is the weather?
by Nancy Roussy. Inspiration
04/26/18 04:46 PM
What will you do today?
by Nancy Roussy. Inspiration
04/26/18 04:44 PM
What's your Typical Daily Menu?
by Nancy Roussy. Low Carb
04/26/18 04:35 PM
Did you dream last night?
by Nancy Roussy. Dreams
04/26/18 04:32 PM
April is Global Astronomy Month
by Mona - Astronomy. Astronomy
04/26/18 04:19 PM
Astronomy and Music
by Mona - Astronomy. Astronomy
04/26/18 04:16 PM
Personal Goals
by mary-tea1. Tea
04/26/18 11:41 AM
which type of marketing good online or offline?
by DavidGinchansky. Business Coach
04/26/18 08:25 AM
I can't start a business because...
by DavidGinchansky. Business Coach
04/26/18 06:59 AM
Register to Post!
Want to post? For security reasons you need to Register as a Forum Member. It's quick, easy and free!
Forum Activities
Book Clubs
Trivia Contests
Who's Online Now
1 registered members (Nancy Roussy), 175 guests, and 3 spiders.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Sponsor


| About BellaOnline | Privacy Policy | Advertising | Become an Editor |
Website copyright © 2018 Minerva WebWorks LLC. All rights reserved.


Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.6.0
Page Time: 1.112s Queries: 14 (0.036s) Memory: 2.0212 MB (Peak: 2.1120 MB) Zlib disabled. Server Time: 2018-04-26 17:34:39 UTC