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#792175 - 11/10/12 07:57 AM How Marriages Handle the Bad Times
Connie - ADD/Sandwiches Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Medieval Human

Registered: 10/02/10
Posts: 10718
Loc: Kansas USA
Lori, this article is filled with the wisdom of the ages. I am going to include a copy with every gift card that I give newlyweds. It is a classic.

I am going to post a link on my fb account.

How Marriages Get Through the Bad Times


Edited by Connie - ADD/Sandwiches (11/10/12 08:06 AM)
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Connie Mistler Davidson-Editor-ADD/Sandwiches
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Avatar: There is Hope~Even when conditions are harsh, hope can bloom.

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#792188 - 11/10/12 09:52 AM Re: How Marriages Handle the Bad Times [Re: Connie - ADD/Sandwiches]
Lori-Dreams Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Chipmunk

Registered: 07/27/12
Posts: 1963
Connie, you humble me. Thank you so much.
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#792387 - 11/11/12 11:12 PM Re: How Marriages Handle the Bad Times [Re: Connie - ADD/Sandwiches]
Elleise - Clairvoyance Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Elephant

Registered: 04/13/05
Posts: 4024
Loc: TX
Getting through the bad times...

Passions are usually flying when they're there on top of emotional let downs and physical obstacles.

When I used to counsel, I would say two things:

1.) Imagine, yesterday, and today you wake up with your parent, partner, etc. no longer there. Say due to an accident or health issue.

2.) Alter your view. Instead of objectifying an individual as a parent, child, husband, wife, girlfriend, boyfriend, whomever it may be a channel has become established, etc.

Step away and from an arial view, see them not as a title, but a person.

If you're in danger, however, just acknowledge what you see reflected in the mirror. That's what they're there for...


Edited by Elleise - Clairvoyance (11/11/12 11:30 PM)
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#792516 - 11/13/12 08:53 AM Re: How Marriages Handle the Bad Times [Re: Connie - ADD/Sandwiches]
Debbie-SpiritualityEditor Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Elephant

Registered: 01/08/10
Posts: 4726
When I was married we went through many challenging times. My husband and I talked a lot, confided in each other, and tried to maintain a sense of humor. We didn't lose the affection we had for each other, and we remained respectful. Life wore us out at times but the love remained.

Had we been more dedicated to the intimate part of our relationship it may have weathered the very last storm, his mid-life crisis. Live and learn.....
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#809146 - 03/02/13 02:13 AM Re: How Marriages Handle the Bad Times [Re: Connie - ADD/Sandwiches]
Maggie25 Offline
Newbie

Registered: 02/28/13
Posts: 41
Loc: West Australia
There are some challenges in a marriage that can wear you down so badly that it affects your health. That's what my repeat cheating husband did to me. Now though his health is also failing. Karma's a B*i**, and it serves him right. The wounds are still too fresh and sore to close, but I know time will heal the pain, but not the memory. Forgive, but never forget. You could leave yourself wide open to further mischief from your partner if you forget their trespass' against you. Blessings Margaret

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#811581 - 03/16/13 04:08 PM Re: How Marriages Handle the Bad Times [Re: Connie - ADD/Sandwiches]
Lori - Marriage Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Koala

Registered: 11/26/09
Posts: 2691
Loc: Orange, CA USA
I'm sad to hear you went through that painful experience, Margaret. It's all too easy to say we should forgive and forget when people hurt us but you are right to self-protect, especially when those people are repeat offenders. At some point, this becomes abuse and we become victims. You were wise not to let yourself be a willing victim.
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#813949 - 03/29/13 12:02 PM Re: How Marriages Handle the Bad Times [Re: Maggie25]
Debbie-SpiritualityEditor Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Elephant

Registered: 01/08/10
Posts: 4726
I had a cheating husband too. Once a cheater always a cheater.
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Spirituality Site Editor
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#814155 - 03/31/13 05:45 AM Re: How Marriages Handle the Bad Times [Re: Connie - ADD/Sandwiches]
Lori - Marriage Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Koala

Registered: 11/26/09
Posts: 2691
Loc: Orange, CA USA
Debbie, I don't know if I agree with that. People are capable of making a one-time mistake and they are capable of changing.

Chronic cheaters, however, have psychological or emotional problems that are difficult to overcome and hence, your statement then would be true about this population.
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