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#790368 - 10/31/12 10:44 AM Do You Have a Friend Who Keeps Cancelling
Elleise - Clairvoyance Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Elephant

Registered: 04/13/05
Posts: 4024
Loc: TX
Often times what we call friendships are really just acquaintences or misinterpreted romance.

Do you have a friend who keeps cancelling plans, dumps you when a man calls or something more entertaining pops up?

If so, what did you do, what would you do next time around and how did it make you feel?
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Karen Elleise
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#812901 - 03/24/13 12:06 PM Re: Do You Have a Friend Who Keeps Cancelling [Re: Elleise - Clairvoyance]
Elleise - Clairvoyance Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Elephant

Registered: 04/13/05
Posts: 4024
Loc: TX
I forgot I posted this, but I've had a few people dealing w/issues like this w/marriage, friendship, abusive relationships, etc.

I have though found a few things that help if you want the situation less painful than it may be.

One, boundaries. If you happen to be going through something like this, nothing is worse than taking a leap of faith only to be stood up again for something more exciting than your company.

The other thing I've found to be prepared for is after boundaries are set in motion, it can have a boomerang affect or projection. So, the table is sort of turned around with a feeling or an attempt to make you feel as if you are the responsible party for being inflexible...

IF this should happen, and especially if you care for a person, it's helpful to really know for a fact who you are inside and IF it's really you doing damage or just basic self-preservation smile
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Karen Elleise
Clairvoyance Editor
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#831264 - 07/28/13 12:09 AM Re: Do You Have a Friend Who Keeps Cancelling [Re: Elleise - Clairvoyance]
Keleee Offline
Newbie

Registered: 06/03/07
Posts: 36
I am guilty of this because of a health issue. I warn my friends that with Fibromyalgia sometimes I may not be up to doing a certain activity like shopping etc. I have chronic pain and somedays are better then others. Most of my friends say they understand but I have lost some friends due to calling in sick one too many times. I wish people would not have such high expectations of me as I am struggling with Fibromyalgia and unless you have it you could never understand it. I even have trouble understanding why some days I have energy and other days I'm forced to lay down by the pain.

Before I had fibro I rarely could not keep date with a friend unless I was sick. I never liked being cancelled on by a friend that would rather do something with her boyfriend at the last minute. Also if someone said they would be there to help me say, move and then not show up, that is just plain irresponsible.

"To have a friend you have to be a friend".

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