I forgot I posted this, but I've had a few people dealing w/issues like this w/marriage, friendship, abusive relationships, etc.
I have though found a few things that help if you want the situation less painful than it may be.
One, boundaries. If you happen to be going through something like this, nothing is worse than taking a leap of faith only to be stood up again for something more exciting than your company.
The other thing I've found to be prepared for is after boundaries are set in motion, it can have a boomerang affect or projection. So, the table is sort of turned around with a feeling or an attempt to make you feel as if you are the responsible party for being inflexible...
IF this should happen, and especially if you care for a person, it's helpful to really know for a fact who you are inside and IF it's really you doing damage or just basic self-preservation