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#790081 - 10/29/12 12:59 PM Things your Parents did that work perfectly now
Yvonnie-Inspired Offline
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Registered: 02/18/11
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Loc: Illinois, US
What great parenting skills did you learn from your parents? You know, those things that worked perfectly then and now...
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Yvonnie DuBose
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#790086 - 10/29/12 01:22 PM Re: Things your Parents did that work perfectly now [Re: Yvonnie-Inspired]
Lisa - Moms Offline
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Registered: 02/12/08
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Loc: Arizona
I'm not sure this would qualify as a skill, but I am everyday-grateful that my parents encouraged me to stand on my own two feet, to learn who I was, and to help me create a solid enough foundation and strong self-concept that I wasn't swayed by peer pressure, jumping on the wagon, or afraid to speak my mind when it was different than everyone else's.

I hope I am raising my children in the same manner.
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#790103 - 10/29/12 03:21 PM Re: Things your Parents did that work perfectly now [Re: Lisa - Moms]
Yvonnie-Inspired Offline
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Registered: 02/18/11
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Loc: Illinois, US
Lisa-

That's amazing!!! That is my family mission statement, to assist my girls on their mission to self-actualization; understanding who they are (mentally, physically, spiritually, and emotionally), having confidence in that, knowing how to change what they do not like, and loving themselves enough to speak up and share.

Please share some of the examples that worked for you.
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Yvonnie DuBose
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#790138 - 10/29/12 08:32 PM Re: Things your Parents did that work perfectly now [Re: Yvonnie-Inspired]
Lisa - Moms Offline
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Registered: 02/12/08
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Loc: Arizona
I just read your mission statement.

I don't think it was anything explicit. I was a bit off the beaten path but I was never discouraged and always encouraged to be who I was, to explore, etc.

Even college - all my friends went to one of two schools in two states, for the most part... I went off to a completely different state to a school where I didn't know anyone

I always had (have) the message: you are loved, you know?
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#790170 - 10/29/12 10:53 PM Re: Things your Parents did that work perfectly now [Re: Lisa - Moms]
Yvonnie-Inspired Offline
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Chipmunk

Registered: 02/18/11
Posts: 1358
Loc: Illinois, US
Thanks for that Lisa.

I think I needed this conversation. As much as my mission statement has changed overtime, a moment like this will continue to arise that will make me tweak it again.

I realize, in this conversation, it is the tools and knowledge of their use, that I wish to give my girls. I want them to know how to research information, how and when to go within for introspection, understand what tools work to help them focus and recognize a need for change (within or without), etc.

At the end of the day, I still want them to be self-loving and confident of who they are mentally, physically, spiritually, emotionally, and financially; but I cannot guarantee this.

So, as the article you referred to in daughters, suggested,I must be the role model and as your parents have done, I must always remind them that I love them and am proud of them as they make their way through it all.

Thanks again.
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Yvonnie DuBose
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#790185 - 10/30/12 05:52 AM Re: Things your Parents did that work perfectly now [Re: Yvonnie-Inspired]
Lisa - Moms Offline
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Registered: 02/12/08
Posts: 1556
Loc: Arizona
Yvonnie - My mom tells me she made tons of mistakes, but I don't remember them. I think building resilient children helps them to make their way through mistake, conflict, etc.

Lately, I've been hearing of all these good kids who are doing drugs.... and all I want is to raise my children so they can say no to drugs and alcohol. I want them to feel good about themSelves and not be overwhelmed with pressure to succeed or be someone important or make a ton of money.

I want them to find who they are and be that person and enjoy life, put good things in the world, and have positive impacts on the people they meet. Spread kindness.

I want them to be critical thinkers and know how to resolve conflict. I wish for them good communication skills, the comfort of being themSelves, and the ability to stand up for what they believe in.

I wish for them strong ties to their Jewish heritage and hope that that can help drive their decisions, what they do for others and for the world, and make extraordinary moments from ordinary ones.

anyone else want to join us? what is your family mission statement?


Edited by Lisa Moms~Judaism (10/30/12 05:55 AM)
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Lisa Pinkus

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#790201 - 10/30/12 10:08 AM Re: Things your Parents did that work perfectly now [Re: Yvonnie-Inspired]
Lori-Dreams Offline
BellaOnline Editor
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Registered: 07/27/12
Posts: 1963
My parents didn't do too much for us. Actually, they did a LOT for us and continued to do so throughout our adult lives but I mean that they didn't micromanage us. My son expected me to enroll him in college and fill out all the paperwork for financial aid, registration, etc. What?!?!

I crippled him by doing too much for him.

Our family mission statement? We're together to offer support, encouragement, companionship and unconditional love as we learn, explore, discover and appreciate this magnificent gift and journey that is life on earth.
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Lori Phillips
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#790212 - 10/30/12 11:47 AM Re: Things your Parents did that work perfectly now [Re: Lori-Dreams]
Francine - German Culture Offline
BellaOnline Editor
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Registered: 09/01/08
Posts: 1292
Loc: Germany/France

Didn't see that much of my father because it seems he was always off saving the world or something, so although he gave us some good examples etc. got to really know him as a adult, however my mother was there always holding the fort and the family together.

Did I appreciate what she was teaching us, even subconsciously, at the time? No not really, but when my own family came along then it clicked, and I will never be able to thank her enough.

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Francine McKenna-Klein - German Culture Editor

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Avatar: HOHENZOLLERNBRUECKE Cologne with CATHEDRAL and LUDWIG MUSEUM. The Bridge a symbol of how Germany was rebuilt after WWII, it was left in ruins, the Cathedral with roots in the 13th century represents the country's history, Museum of Modern Art the present day.


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#790272 - 10/30/12 07:45 PM Re: Things your Parents did that work perfectly now [Re: Lori-Dreams]
Yvonnie-Inspired Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Chipmunk

Registered: 02/18/11
Posts: 1358
Loc: Illinois, US
I think this thread has turned into, what is your family's mission statement. And I love it.

Lisa & Lori, those are great.
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Yvonnie DuBose
Inspiration

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#790273 - 10/30/12 07:51 PM Re: Things your Parents did that work perfectly now [Re: Francine - German Culture]
Yvonnie-Inspired Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Chipmunk

Registered: 02/18/11
Posts: 1358
Loc: Illinois, US
Francine-

That's what parenting does to us. It brings in floods of childhood memories, good and bad. As children, we have one opinion and as we carry out our parenting responsibilities, we see more of what we want to adapt and what we want to avoid.

And no matter what we are doing, we do not know the effects it will actually have on our children. We just continue to do our best and hope it turns out wonderful. Having a child, like you, that later on sees how hard we have worked and expresses appreciation for that must be priceless.

A mission statement is something you can later use to measure your success. Even if they do not make the same choices you would have, did they gather what you intended for them to gather?
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Yvonnie DuBose
Inspiration

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