Channel List
Beauty & Self
Books & Music
Food & Wine
Health & Fitness
Hobbies & Crafts
Home & Garden
News & Politics
Religion & Spirituality
Travel & Culture
TV & Movies
We take forum safety very seriously here at BellaOnline. Please be sure to read through our Forum Guidelines. Let us know if you have any questions or comments!
Newest Members
Abby joy, freekundli, Suanle, prempesos, Anne Mehla
58099 Registered Users
Forum Stats
58,099 Registered Members
417 Forums
117,259 Topics
833,648 Posts

Most users ever online: 615 @ 04/22/15 10:11 AM
Top Posters (30 Days)
Nancy Roussy 254
Mona - Astronomy 92
Lisa LowCarb / VideoGames 59
Angie 46
Connie - ADD/Sandwiches 28
Korie - California/Yoga Editor 22
Susan - Meditation Editor 18
Michelle - Teen & Reading Editor 15
Angela - Drama Movies 15
"Rosie" 11
Ad Income Supports Charity
Topic Options
#789428 - 10/24/12 04:09 PM What would you do? Midlife Crisis
Lori - Marriage Offline
BellaOnline Editor

Registered: 11/26/09
Posts: 2691
Loc: Orange, CA USA
Fear of getting old triggered a midlife crisis. A new motorcycle was one thing, but a new girlfriend? What do you think? What would you do?

Midlife Crisis and Marriage

Edited by Lori - Marriage (10/26/12 11:27 PM)
Lori Phillips
Marriage editor

BellaOnline.com Marriage
Twitter: @BellaMarriage

Dreams editor
Bellaonline.com Dreams site
The Dream Collective
Dreams: What are you trying to tell yourself?
Twitter: @tweetdreams4u
and @flutterby03

#789429 - 10/24/12 04:10 PM Re: Midlife Crisis and Marriage [Re: Lori - Marriage]
Lori - Marriage Offline
BellaOnline Editor

Registered: 11/26/09
Posts: 2691
Loc: Orange, CA USA
Also, did you or have you ever re-thought your marriage? Why? Do you feel you've grown apart?

Lori Phillips
Marriage editor

BellaOnline.com Marriage
Twitter: @BellaMarriage

Dreams editor
Bellaonline.com Dreams site
The Dream Collective
Dreams: What are you trying to tell yourself?
Twitter: @tweetdreams4u
and @flutterby03

#789897 - 10/28/12 12:19 PM Re: Midlife Crisis and Marriage [Re: Lori - Marriage]
Elleise - Clairvoyance Offline
BellaOnline Editor

Registered: 04/13/05
Posts: 4024
Loc: TX
Ouch...ouch and double-ouch!

I "feel" for this situation. I have 2 clients (given permission) to speak generally, going through similar circumstances.

The son, who recently moved away, in Cheryl's situation, could have been a barrier, that kept things connected on some level.

The "youthful" spending, hair and clothes...that's almost a strike 2 and facebook, probable meetings, etc. (in my book) would be strike 3. But that's just me.

What to do?

Emotionally, as far as confrontationally, I would strongly suggest nothing but for the fact, you're noticing changes. Don't go poking around. Instead, outsmart the situation.

Reason being: defenses, defending of actions, even more fighting and triggering justification for doing things out of anger and covering actions up, comes into play. If it's all out in the public right now...the bulb hasn't quite gone off yet wink

Secondly, nothing is LESS attractive to a man, pulling away, than a desperate woman clinging to their pant leg (figuratively speaking). Even if you're the most independant woman in the world, "pining" isn't attractive, when a person is going in another direction.

What I WOULD do, is begin protecting some of your assets. Open up an account somewhere that's all yours, even stowing certain things away here and there.

I'd also start breaking up the normal "routine" around the house, myself, by not always being where I'm expected, hours of the day, making dinners all of the time, etc.

I'd use the opportunity to explore myself and see as well, is THIS all there is and ALL I WANT TO BE?

I may be perfectly content with who I am, but when the grounds shift, moving with them instead of against, keeps you on your feet!

And if HE begins noticing your absence, a new look, clothes, hair style, what have you, simply tell him he's been of inspiration to you. You'll look great and feel better just for having tried something new smile

Edited by Elleise - Clairvoyance (10/28/12 12:36 PM)
Karen Elleise
Clairvoyance Editor
Clairvoyance Site

#792515 - 11/13/12 08:40 AM Re: Midlife Crisis and Marriage [Re: Elleise - Clairvoyance]
Debbie-SpiritualityEditor Offline
BellaOnline Editor

Registered: 01/08/10
Posts: 4707
Great ideas, Elleise.

My husband went through a mid-life crisis, complete with emotional breakdown. He cheated, decided to stay with the new woman, and divorced me. I don't think he got exactly what he wanted out of the deal but he remarried quickly and forgot about me in the blink of an eye. He threw away a 19 year relationship that was not a terrible one and that could have been saved. I was willing to do the work, but he felt that marriage should not be any work at all. What I could not give him he thought he could get elsewhere, but I know he does not have it yet. Never will.

I never understood before what a mid-life crisis was or what it could do to a marriage. I know now.
Debbie Grejdus
Spirituality Site Editor
Spirituality Forum Moderator


Want to reply? Register as a Forum Member - it's quick, free and fun!
Brand New Posts
Where are you and how is the weather?
by Susan - Meditation Editor
Yesterday at 11:18 PM
What is luck?
by freekundli
Yesterday at 10:46 PM
Enchiladas Verde
by Connie - ADD/Sandwiches
Quick Cooking
Yesterday at 04:24 PM
What is your stress level today?
by Nancy Roussy
Stress Management
Yesterday at 03:37 PM
What will you do today?
by Angie
Yesterday at 10:26 AM
What Did You Write Today?
by Lisa LowCarb / VideoGames
Fiction Writing
Yesterday at 08:38 AM
What's your Typical Daily Menu?
by Nancy Roussy
Low Carb
Yesterday at 04:40 AM
What did you dream about last night?
by Nancy Roussy
Yesterday at 04:37 AM
Firsts in Space – Quiz *new*
by Mona - Astronomy
Yesterday at 03:29 AM
Fabric Dresses Up Small Storage Containers
by Cheryl - Sewing Editor
Yesterday at 02:56 AM
Register to Post!
Want to post? For security reasons you need to Register as a Forum Member. It's quick, easy and free!
Forum Activities
Book Clubs
Trivia Contests
Who's Online
0 registered (), 84 Guests and 3 Spiders online.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Ad Income Supports Charity

| About BellaOnline | Privacy Policy | Advertising | Become an Editor |
Website copyright © 2015 Minerva WebWorks LLC. All rights reserved.