Something we talked about a while ago is designing your personal Board of Directors. A group you can go to for advice when you need help. They don't have to be real. But imagining what they would say could be really helpful.

Here's a template I made for listing your people, and 3-4 key traits each one has -



If you make your images of your board members 200x200 they fit perfectly in those boxes.

Link -

http://www.bellaonline.com/misc/press/boardofdirectors.jpg

Who will be on yours?

OK here's one I did up for myself, to show how it works -



It's fascinating how they all end up having fairly similar traits!

What sorts of people will end up on yours?

Here we go - here was the thread where we were talking about this originally, and how we each had different types of people we related to -

Personal Board of Directors

What a neat idea! Since retiring (all children out of the nest at last) I have been indulging in ME time, all those many neat creative things I always put off in order to take care of others first. But until now, it had not occurred to me to be more methodical about it, or to actually list everything I want to do... Just been sort of rushing from one shiny thing to the next, constantly distracted by new exciting things to do, only complaining that there do not seem to be enough hours in the day to do everything. Thanx

Dear Cheryll -

It can become easy to rush around towards things. And it can be fun . Sometimes with a tiny bit of organization you can achieve more of your goals in a easier manner, which can be nice!

Definitely none of us have enough hours. We all want more hours. So a trick is to see where your hours are going and if they really serve your primary goals in life. Even if that goal is sitting on the beach soaking in the sun

I looked back at the other thread, and what's interesting is that in some cases I got more specific with my choice of who to list. For example I thought I would list Jane Austen. But she didn't come to mind as someone I'd actually want to sit and talk to. It's too "nebulous". So I went with Mr. Darcy who is one of her characters, who to me epitomizes loyalty, tenacity, stubbornness, and intelligence. Yes he has flaws, but as one voice in many I would love to hear his point of view.

In the same way I originally had listed JRR Tolkien but again that feels too nebulous to me. So I went with Aragorn who has focus, loyalty, moral character, and the willingness to take action.

Lisa, why is dependable such a common theme on your board? That's something I never consider in people to be around.

Dear Jilly -

Think of The Last of the Mohicans. The key scene in that movie is when the heroine is about to be taken by the enemy. The hero says in essence "Stay alive. I *will* come for you and rescue you. Believe in me." That scene is quoted by many people as one of the most powerful they've seen. It's that feeling that, when you're in trouble and completely lost, that someone will absolutely dedicate themselves to protecting you and keeping you safe.

Or think of Empire Strikes Back. Luke is hanging and near death. Nothing can save him. He sends out his thoughts to his sister, and she rescues him. He has lost everything, and he trusts in her. She is there for him, and she does not let him down.

Or think of Die Hard 2, where Glover is on the toilet, and Gibson is right there by him. He will not leave his partner. He stays by his side and puts his life on the line to save him.

That total trust, the total opening of a soul and believing in someone else to be there for you, is core to many viewers' emotions, apparently. So many movie scenes and novel scenes are based on that absolute faith in another person to be there.

I know that same emotion is core in my own life. I know absolutely that if I'm in trouble and I need help, that Bob will be there for me. There's no doubt in my mind. For me, that's the most important thing he can be. He will do whatever it takes.

Certainly, I am sure other people tie in to other emotions!

Lisa

I don't have anything like that.

We're all different, and that's great! We all connect with different emotions.

I think you'd said once that a key scene for you was in Empire Strikes Back, when Leia reveals her heart and risks all. She calls out to Han, in front of everyone, "I love you." She knows it can be used against her by the enemy and she doesn't care. Han looks at her with a smile, and reveals that he's felt that same connection the entire time. He says, "I know." We can tangibly see that powerful, soul-deep connection between two people.

What are some of your other favorite scenes?

I'm just thinking I don't have anyone like that for me. When I was suicidal, and then hospitalized, and then alone in my trailer, no one came out to help me. Not Dan, not my parents, not my sister, not an old friend. No one. No one came to me after William died either, and I was in complete grief.

Whereas when my father was hospitalized I took the first plane out to be with him. When my sister lost Anthony, I stayed with her for weeks so she would have someone there for her. When I was worried a friend might have had cancer, i told her I would drop everything to be nearby and help out.

So I guess looking for 'dependability' just isn't something I think about. The things I would do for others I don't seem to have anyone do to for me.

For my board of directors, I guess I am more interested in wisdom, humor, compassion and creativity.

Dear Jilly -

This got complex quickly, so I am starting a separate thread .

Lisa

To Jilly,

If I read Lisa wright, it is your board of directors.Why don't
you fill it with people that you loved.During my whole life, I had to come out of hell ,like you,there was never anybody to help me.But I could find ,people that lived and were great helpers,Martin .l.King,Buddha,Jesus,not Jesus Christ,great
difference,the Sun,your inner power of survival.

Your friend
loong



.

Loong, you are totally correct - it's MY board. And on my board, whoever I put there is totally there for me. Excellent way to position that.

Yes Loong is exactly right - every person can have on their board of directors whoever they wish! My aim was to provide insight into why my board was the way it was, not to imply that anybody else should use my board . We all have different boards, and that is great!

One of the suggestions from the books that recommend boards is that you look at your board and give thought to the common themes represented there. Ponder why certain people show up on there. Is it that you *want* those people - or is it that life has taught you to only *expect* those people?

For example Loong talks about putting on a board the people that a given person loved. However, often fate puts us in situations where we love people who are not reliable. I.e. let's say I grew up with alcoholic parents. Yes, I loved them. And yes, in their way, they loved me. But I can still choose not to have them on my board. I am creating an ideal board here, one which helps me reach my innermost goals.

So I think what I'm saying is don't restrict yourself to what life has given you so far. Don't be "stuck" with anything at all. Open your mind to the ultimate heroes and heroines you can imagine, and then imagine they are there just for you, to be there for you. Let your mind be free of all influence. It doesn't matter what I put on my board, or what anybody else put on their boards. It doesn't matter what life has been like in the past. This is the future, and it starts today .

This seems like a cool idea to examine personal values and inspire to stick with them.
the theme people ar enticing on their boards are interesting, too.

Lisa - it definitely is fun to see who we are all inspired by! It gives us even more ideas for who we can "turn to".

I used my BOD yesterday at the dentist. I consulted Tim Gunn, Gandalf and House while getting dental surgery. They each had different advice for me, all good.

Tim Gunn hugged me and remarked how beautiful my teeth are, and how courageous it was I was taking steps to keep a beautiful smile.

Gandalf told me some days are harder to live through than others, but a hero has to make the best of what we are given.

House sarcastically asked me if I wanted to keep my teeth, and poked me with his cane.