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#781837 - 09/09/12 11:54 PM Re: What Do You Do? [Re: Lisa LowCarb / VideoGames]
Lori - Marriage Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Koala

Registered: 11/26/09
Posts: 2686
Loc: Orange, CA USA
It's funny how we need to pigeon hole ourselves with a single title when we do so many different things. I want to say that I am first and foremost an appreciator of life, but that gets weird looks so I say that I am an online content provider.

Yet, I really am a wife, mother, substitute teacher, crisis hotline counselor, entrepreneur, caretaker, writer, author, dream interpreter, clairvoyant medium and student. But rattling off that list elicits weird looks, too.

I'm thinking about returning for my third degree. I have a BA in journalism and an MA in Education. Yet, for years Tina, I was also "just a mom." That was my proudest and most gratifying--and most important--job ever.
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#782015 - 09/10/12 09:45 PM Re: What Do You Do? [Re: Lisa LowCarb / VideoGames]
Lisa LowCarb / VideoGames Offline
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Registered: 01/05/04
Posts: 20150
Tina - it's interesting how people put people into categories. We are all so many things, and that's wonderful! Maybe you could wear a button that says "I'm an author!" and that would encourage discussion smile. Or if it was a casual get-together, you could get a t-shirt done with a book cover on it and your name.
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#782016 - 09/10/12 09:47 PM Re: What Do You Do? [Re: Lisa LowCarb / VideoGames]
Lisa LowCarb / VideoGames Offline
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Lori - I do imagine that having an "elevator speech" is a good thing. I imagine if we wanted to we could probably talk for hours about all the things we've accomplished in life, which is certainly wonderful, but that's probably not good as a conversation starter. smile

So the interesting challenge is to distill the most important things down into a quick description, and then of course as you talk more with a person you can share your other interests as well. Which then has the interesting question of what ARE the most important things? And why?
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#782043 - 09/11/12 02:00 AM Re: What Do You Do? [Re: Lisa LowCarb / VideoGames]
Dianne W - Editor Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Elephant

Registered: 11/10/08
Posts: 4823
Loc: Virginia
So many upbeat responses! I think it's great when people have a passion for what they do - it comes out when they talk to people!

What do I do?

I spend my days helping people to realize their career dreams. In other words I am an HR Manager who spends her days, not only recruiting and approving payroll - but I coach and counsel staff. I have a box of tissues on my desk, but nothing makes me happier then to see someone finally "get it." or to mentor and coach people into becoming management. My love for helping people to succeed carries through to all of my outside activities -- in what I write and also by being President of the Board HRA-NCA (DCSHRM). I'm also on several committees in the County I work for and am a certified trainer for the IPSLEI leadership program.

But above that I'm a twice divorced mom with three wonderful kids and a grandchild - and guiding them through life, being there to hold their hands when they hurt and also to celebrate their success truly defines who I am.



Edited by Dianne W - Editor (09/11/12 02:02 AM)
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#785769 - 10/02/12 12:15 AM Re: What Do You Do? [Re: Lisa LowCarb / VideoGames]
Jenny A. Offline
Newbie

Registered: 10/01/12
Posts: 6
Loc: Texas
Wow, all of you women are very impressive! I don't know why any of you would hesitate to say proudly what you do! However, I guess I do understand that feeling of not being good enough. Or in my case, of being thought to be an imposter, if that makes sense. I'm a writer, and I'm published. But when I tell people this, often they ask, &quot;Have I read anything you've written?&quot; I always think -- how would I know what you've read! :) So I hesitate, because I think people don't take me seriously if I'm not as well known in the field as, say, J.K. Rowling!

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#786414 - 10/05/12 07:35 PM Re: What Do You Do? [Re: Lisa LowCarb / VideoGames]
Jilly Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Highest Posting Power Known to Humanity

Registered: 02/27/03
Posts: 14309
Loc: Verde Valley, AZ
This is my most dreaded question. I feel like it is really nosy and personal. I'd rather be asked something unusual, like, "if you could be a bird, what kind would you be?"

Anything but the "let me fit you into what society says is acceptable to judge."


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#786419 - 10/05/12 07:46 PM Re: What Do You Do? [Re: Lisa LowCarb / VideoGames]
Dianne W - Editor Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Elephant

Registered: 11/10/08
Posts: 4823
Loc: Virginia
People should be proud of whatever they do, if not, why do it?

Some people are cruel. They feel better about themselves when they criticize and judge others. I think it's their problem, not mine. I have always wondered where the cruelty gene came from.
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#786445 - 10/06/12 02:10 AM Re: What Do You Do? [Re: Lisa LowCarb / VideoGames]
Jilly Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Highest Posting Power Known to Humanity

Registered: 02/27/03
Posts: 14309
Loc: Verde Valley, AZ
The "what do you do" question is so traumatizing for me that I often discuss it with my case manager. It really is nobody's business what I do. I don't see why this is an acceptable question to discuss with strangers.

I've even made up a 'distraction' technique so i don't have to answer this at all. I tell people I am living on a beach in Margaritaville. I get to laugh, they usually laugh, and then hopefully they move on.

A few people persist and and then I have to try really hard to not to squirm and say, "I don't like talking about it," or worse, "that's a bit personal." I never know what to do in these cases and it usually comes out wrong.

There has go to be some kind of less invasive way to get to know people, something a whole lot more creative than the knee-jerk "what do you do?" Why do I care what someone does? That doesn't make them a person. I'd rather know what they do in their spare time.

I swear I don't write these things to be contrarian. It just shows me how differently I see the world, for good or for ill.


Edited by Jilly (10/06/12 02:12 AM)

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#786993 - 10/10/12 12:01 AM Re: What Do You Do? [Re: Lisa LowCarb / VideoGames]
Lisa LowCarb / VideoGames Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Highest Posting Power Known to Humanity

Registered: 01/05/04
Posts: 20150
Dear Jilly -

We are all different people, and that is great! It makes the universe interesting.

I think for many people that they feel the way to get to know a person is to learn what they like to spend their time doing. So they ask. The person who responds gets to share whatever they want to about what they like to do. So it is completely up to the responder to talk about whatever aspect of their life they are in the mood to share. They have complete control.

Maybe it would help to look at the "ritual" a little differently? They are usually not trying to judge you or pigeonhole you. They are simply interested in a new human being. They are curious. Curiosity is great!

So share something you love. "I love researching frugal living options to help the world save money". People would adore that idea! Talking about what you love to do should be, I think, core to human interactions. It shares that joy.

I think if you start a conversation with an assumption that the person is a fun, curious entity who wants to learn about your passions in life, then that helps!
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#787058 - 10/10/12 04:57 AM Re: What Do You Do? [Re: Lisa LowCarb / VideoGames]
Jilly Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Highest Posting Power Known to Humanity

Registered: 02/27/03
Posts: 14309
Loc: Verde Valley, AZ
But I don't want to talk about it at all. It's personal. And it will lead to more questions, which I will feel impelled to answer. I don't like talking to strangers about my life. it is a source of stress.

The Margaritaville thing I don't mind saying, for some reason, because of the fun fantasy element, i guess.

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