BellaOnline Forums Family Daughters Emotionally Abusive Mothers

I have my own problems with an emotionally abusive set of parents. I have an extremely difficult time at home. My parents are always disrespectful of my space, my feelings, and myself in general. They constantly put me down and whenever there is a conflict, I remain calm and try to be respectful while they spout rubbish at me and yes, they have cursed at me before (my mother called me the b-word on more than 1 occasion). There are times when my parents will wake me up after I have gone to sleep at night to tell me what a horrible person they think I am and will yell at me for an HOUR. This has happened three times an I was bawling afterward and I wanted to die. They have very strict religious views, they won't let me explore any other world views, and they explain their abuse by saying, " The lord wants us to raise you in a godly way, and because we're your parents, you don't have the right to [fill in the blank]. I really need some advice. I have been to a therapist, but my parents are too crazy for the therapist's perfectly logical suggestions to work. I am a very good student (ie straight A's and honors glasses), so will that help me get away from this abusive home? Please help!

Thank you so much for your stories. I relate completely. I have never spoken about my emotionally abusive mother, but here i have found women in the exact same boat as i. My mother and i have hated each other since i was about 5 yrs old. I am now 30. She has always been angry that i prefer my dad over her. When i was little she would lie about me to my dad to try and make me look bad. She would lie to my dad that i broke an item in the house, or that i messed up this or that in the house. My personality has always been very organised and clean and efficient. When i got older i liked to bake delicious cakes, clean the bathroom spotless and picture perfect; re-arrange the furniture and give the living room a makeover, and she would go wild and say that i am trying to impress and show off. Ten years ago i organised our entire book library collection (over 2,000 books)and to this day she gets angry and emotional about that saying i was doing it to show off. She hates it when anyone in the family compliments anything i do, so i literally had to not do anything around the house. Dirty dishes stay in the sink. I don't vacuum. I don't do the windows. Nothing. I just leave it. She feels it's an attack against her if i do any house-work. Whenever my school exams came around she panics and tries to make me drop my law program. If my dad assists me financially with my education expenses she goes nuts. She'll say to me things like "my husband is happy with my looks" (which sounds so weird. She should say dad said this or that... instead she says to me "my husband thinks i am beautiful". Now she constantly sends me crazy texts to my phone. Like a hundred per day. She sounds like a lunatic, and if i point this out, she says i'm the one who is in need of help. Yesterday she texted me saying "your are a thing". "Get lost". Once she said "go and work in the red light district, i don't care". She is seriously mental. I have never seen anything like it. She is obsessed with me. Texting me night and day with her crazy texts. One will say "ok, enough, let's stop this back and forth, you're being childish". Then after twp minutes "What's wrong with you! go away!". My mother is mental. I simply cannot get her off my back. She constantly talks about me to my dad trying to make him dislike me, and to my siblings as well. So i can't even call my dad or visit in peace because she'll be so jealous that we get along, while i don't like her at all. She has started metting out her abuse on my brothers and sister and dad. It is really affecting them. They are not used to it and won't put her in her place the way i do. They suffer alot. I am so sick and tired of her, but i have now made a decision to divorce myself from her. I feel emotionally abused and drained and it takes so much energy to constantly defend myself and put her in her place. Today was yet another day of abusive and crazy texts from her. I replied each one within one second, telling her off and telling her she needs help, she's mental, she has a void she is trying to fill and thinks texting me is the cure". It is so emotionally draining to anticipate the ringtone which is a sign that here-comes-the-next-piece-of-abuse. I am now waiting for the next one to come. I will reply her and tell her that i blocking her number, and will no longer be in contact with her. At the end of the day, i am responsible for my well being, and i need to set boundaries. I will be doing myself a disservice if i keep allowing this human being's abuse into my life. If it was any other person being abusive towards me, i would have cut off all links ages ago. Why allow abuse from this person, just because the abuser happens to be my mother. I am sick and tired of her and i'm waiting for the next text to come so that i can tell her unequivocally to take her psycho ways elsewhere. I will post when i have cut links with this emotional abuser. I;m waiting on her next text.

I have big problems with an emotionally abusive set of parents. I have an extremely difficult time at home. My parents are always disrespectful of my space, my feelings, and myself in general. They constantly put me down, make fun of me or me views, and belittle me. Whenever there is a conflict, I remain calm (like an adult should)and try to be respectful while they spout rubbish at me, and yes, they have cursed at me before (my mother called me the b-word on more than 1 occasion). There are times when my parents will wake me up after I have gone to sleep at night to tell me what a horrible person they think I am and will yell at me for an hour! This has happened three times and I was bawling afterward and I wanted to die. Also, when I need emotional support, they deny it (ie I once entered a poetry recitation contest and I didn't even place. I was so upset and hurt and I said,"I don't understand! I didn't do anything wrong!" My mother said," You don't have to do something wrong for someone to be better than you.") They have very strict religious views, they won't let me explore any other world views, and they explain their abuse by saying, " The lord wants us to raise you in a godly way, and because we're your parents, you don't have the right to [fill in the blank]. I really need some advice. I have been to a therapist, but my parents are too crazy for the therapist's perfectly logical suggestions to work. I am only 15 and my parents always make me depressed through all their negativity and constantly tearing me down. Please do not comment that I am too young to know anything or that it's just hormones; I know neither is true because my parents still try to control/manipulate my 4 siblings (who are 22-31 years old and moved out ages ago!). I am a very good student (ie straight A's and honors classes), so will that help me get away from this abusive home? Please help!