BellaOnline Forums Beauty and Self Inspiration Book Club - Chp. 8 The Mastery of Love

Chapter 8 - Sex: The Biggest Demon in Hell

"...everything, is perfect just the way it is. Life doesn�t need to be justified or judged; without us, it keeps going the way it is. If you put humans in that creation, but take away the ability to judge, you will find we are exactly like the rest of nature."

Ruiz uses this chapter to explain why sex is natural and does not need to be judged or justified.

Later on, he reminds us that we are Life and not the body that we judge.

This chapter has always been the most difficult chapter for me to accept. I apparently have hang ups about sex and sexual attraction. So, this is a chapter I really would love to discuss.

I found myself thinking, "Ruiz is a man and that is why he takes this stance." I indulged in the very judgement he speaks of.

What is your interpretation of the chapter?
Do you agree with Ruiz?
What did you think?

Hi Yvonnie:

I use to have hang ups too when I was younger, but now in my 50's I have come to realize that it can be awesome with the right person. LOL, now I await the right person. Next month will celebrate one year of choosing not to sleep around in spite of having to walk away from someone I use to care about. Now that comes with age and knowing your insides. I now tell my daughter to make sure that she is okay with herself when she gets up from wherever she had sex/lol. She is now 25, my only child - but growing up in a culture (Jamaican) where you just did not talk about sex, I was determined to bring her up with knowledge and then trust she would make the right choice for herself. And add a very controlling mother into the mix, again - I do slip up at times but working on not becoming like my mother. It only drives your child away.

My mother always taught me that same idea Angela. She'd say, before you decide that it is okay to have sex with anyone, be certain that you will be okay with you in the morning."

That said, there were so many taboos attached to sex when I was younger that I think I never quite owned the pleasure. I saw it as a tool for control.

OMG, that's a revelation for me, (I saw it as a tool for control). I still see it that way and that is where my hang ups come from.

I've never been able to see it as an instinct. In fact, I think I was only able to truly enjoy sex, no hang ups, with one person. And now that I think about it, I realize that it was because I felt no threat of him trying to control me.

Now, I have to go back and re-read this chapter.

See, Bellaonline's forums are the perfect therapy.

Hi Yvonnie:

With me, I thought sex mean't love/lol.

Finally figured out that a guy could have sex with you, tell you he loves you - shower, get dress and go have sex with another woman and tell her the same thing.

Now I choose when and if I am going to have sex. With me, it has to be "special" - mutual respect. Yikes, the term "making love" - no longer in my dictionary. Sorry, but over the knight in shining armor.

What gives me hope is running across women my age and older who are on their 3rd husband - while being married one time was enough for me - I so admire them not giving up. One told me the "3rd time was the charm" - to this day she keeps me giggling. Because of her, I had the strength to leave my ex after Jeremiah left. Yes, Jeremiah (the dog/lol) running away was my sign to exit - but life was staring me in my face. Like, you gave up your apartment you had for 14 years to move in with Mr. Wonderful/lol - now exactly where do you plan on living. Well, I knew I did not want to stay in his state and see him with someone else although he kept denying someone existed - never trusted men! Next life question - money???? Yes, stupid me had been stressing out over keeping the lights and water on, while Mr. Wonderful could not care less as long as he had his weed and alcohol. Poor Jeremiah, I had to make sure I bought food for him to eat. While I miss my little friend, I am so glad he took off to a better life!!!

Hugs,

I agree with Don Miguel that sex is a natural process, but you have to keep in mind what he keeps saying about how we�re living in Hell. And all sorts of bad things can happen when you mix the two. We have to be careful, and if that means "moral" then so be it!

Here is my favorite quote from the chapter:

��you are not what you believe you are�you are not the dream�you are not the mind�you are not the soul either�what you are is a force�.�