BellaOnline Forums Beauty and Self Life Coaching Friends.

Do not know whether posted in correct section but would appreciate any help.

I have a friend, who I like very much and her and her husband and my husband often go out for dinners. She is nice when we are together but she always jokes or says which is true that she has no friends.

I am starting to find out why, as I have befriended her as I like her but she has a habit of rubbishing me to any one who is around.

What causes a person to admit they have no friends yet enjoy rubbishing people...........

Really appreciate any comments.

Hello, toetapping,

One reason people rubbish others is to make themselves feel better. It's a defense mechanism. If they point out your faults then maybe nobody will notice theirs.

By saying "I have no friends" she is getting attention and interest and sympathy from other people.

To go a little further, she doesn't feel worthy of having friends (Possibly childhood issues here) and has an image of herself as "friendless" so she creates situations where that is true. If you believe something about yourself, even if it's wrong, you will create it.

Hope this helps.

Hi BellaDeb.

I truly appreciate your answer. It helps me understand her now as I am her only friend and I am trying to be one to her.

There is that old saying. Treat others as you would like to be treated.

a good friend is a one who nevers gets in ur way unless u happening to be going down. now i dont remember exactly who said this but it is a quotation actually. anyways, its a defence mechanism - true. humans are the most complex psychological thing ever being created by nature. i recommend dont these things to ur heart and try to give the best u can to ur frnd. thats sums up everythng. just keep ur conscience contended that u did the best for ur frnd. Hope it helps!

ya good friends always help in opposite situation .i love my friends.

Saying that people like that do that as a defense mechanism is like when people say of bullies that they do that because they have no self-confidence. It is just excuses. People like that friend are just mean, that's it. I have a ton of problem and yet I have never been mean to anyone who was not mean to me or anyone else. I have a depression, anxiety and stress but I still have a conscience and empathy. I know that hurting innocent people would make me a monster and it will not solve any of my problems.

My suggestion to toetapping is to get rid of that so-called friend. It is better to have no friend than to have friends like that.