Thank you Angie for posting.
I'll bet there are many others, like yourself trying to work through, like you mention whether or not to take action. When is it time? Is it ever too late?
I'm there for you in Spirit, the stepson and the other child feel as though they're learning by example. One child maybe more so than the other for right now.
When I was going through mine, it really was difficult to just say, this is abuse...it shouldn't be, but it is.
Finally I ended up telling myself if I couldn't leave for me, well, "I've had my childhood, there's no reason in the free world to take my daughter's away from her or a shot at a decent adult life."
That was the start of planning actually. Even then, I hoped it would change. The cycles of hope really are powerful!
One hot summer afternoon, it was upper 90's I remember, it wasn't until he stepped over my lifeless body...black tarp parking lot, it clicked. No matter what he said, here were actions of a man (if you could call him that) that reflect,
A.) what he thinks of me enough to carry it out
B.) The value he places on the life of another
As a fiance, there's room/time to "change the course." Not to mention if this is any reflection of holidays to come, Im afraid it's not likely to get much better.