Mae......Joy listed some great articles. I hope you will read them. I did and I found a lot of good points there.
I don't think your friends, even your best friend, need to know what is on your body where the sun does not shine. You should not have to tell them about something so private, so don't put pressure on yourself to do so. But with that said, I think that having a mole where you have one can be sexy, unique, and beautiful. Being a little different can be exciting, and I do think that your intimate partner could feel this way. Someone who loves you for who you are will find you beautiful no matter what. You are special and distinct, as we all are, and it is important to accept and love yourself.
If this mole is very devastating to you perhaps it can be surgically removed, maybe in a couple of surgical procedures so that it is not such a large wound to heal and feel discomfort from. Ask your doctor.
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