When a mistake is made both people in the relationship can be hurt.

When Mistakes Hurt Others

Please read my latest article on the Spirituality site. Feedback is always welcome!

Good advice for all of us. Debbie, what happens if after all that the person who hurt their loved one tries do to make amends, but the other person cannot forgive?

Thanks Debbie for the article, very well expressed!

It reminded, oh so well, of the following song/lyrics:

APOLOGIZE

In the fury of the moment
When the words of wrath rang out
When my mind was filled with questions
And my head was filled with doubt

I can still see sadness heartbreak
And the sorrow in your eyes
How can flowers live in darkness
How can I apologize

For the blackness I've created
In the world that used to shine
I have wilted all the roses
And I spoiled all the wine

Just get out your magic pencil
And erase the cloudy skies
Just draw a picture of me
Saying, I apologize

Give me back
The words I spoke in haste
Give em back
Or love will go to waste
Give em back

See the sunlight reappearing
Through the shrouds of darkened blue
As I hear the words forgiving
And watch the flowers bloom

And when time has lost that moment
And we mended broken ties
I will stay be on my knees
Saying, I apologize

Give me back
The words I spoke in haste
Give em back
Or love will go to waste
Give em back

AHHH! Beautiful People! What is a MISTAKE??? I am of the opinion that there are no "mistakes" -- meaning that it is all part of the beautiful voyage we call life! All experiences serve a purpose, however bizarre.

Les, kudos to you amigo for your lovely palabras.

Connie.....we can only be responsible for our own actions. If we have done all we can to make amends and the other person won't or can't forgive, then we have to walk away and give that person their space. It may hurt like the dickens, but we have to let go......let go of the relationship if there is no way to reconcile, and let go of the pain and the sadness. Life will go on. Maybe after a time that person will come back, and maybe not.

Les......thank you for reading my article and for sharing the lyrics of that song. It is very moving.

Anna.....thank you for sharing your opinion. Certainly everything that happens in life is an opportunity for learning.

I wrote the article because I know of a situation recently where people were hurt by actions and words. Believe me when I say that there was nothing beautiful about it, and nothing beautiful may come of it. Even though there was never an intention to hurt anyone, the relationships are most likely permanently damaged, which is a real shame. I have to call what took place as being mistakes, and all involved in the situation agree.

I really like title of your article. Wonderfully written by you. Les-Mexico, Thanks for sharing this wonderful song. I also have a song APOLOGIZE: I'm holding on a rope Got me 10 feet off the ground I'm hearin' what you say but I just can't make a sound You tell me that you need me then you go and cut me down But wait You tell me that you're sorry didn't think I'd turn around and say: That it's too late to apologize Too late Said it's too late to apologize Too late I'd take another chance, take a fall, take a shot for you I need you like a heart needs a beat, it's nothing new Yeah I loved you with a fire red now it's turning blue And you say Sorry lord, the angel heaven let me think was you But I'm afraid It's too late to apologize Too late Said it's too late to apologize Too late I'm holding on a rope Got me 10 feet off the ground !!!!!!

Thanks Jennie, for reading my article and for sharing the song with us.

I bet there are more songs than we could ever count out there about making mistakes, getting hurt, being sorry, and apologizing.

My pleasure Debbie. Yes of course, there are many songs about being sorry and apologizing.

Great article Debbie! It took me back to a time when something silly was said and it ended up straining a relationship. I can't get those years back and now I realize how stupid we can be.

Life is so short to not forgive and forget. As it is said, We have to forgive others so we can be forgiven.

Mistakes are just that...let them go and move on. Don't waste precious moments you have...even if you have to be the one to make the first move, do it!

Just my rambling thoughts!

Hi Debbie,

I think this is an awesome article. I think that the reason that so many African Americans are not progressing collectively as a people is because the United States never officially apologized for 300 years of slavery.

I think that generational internalized anger turns into self-destructive behavior that explains poor educational achievement and the high rate of imprisonment for many blacks today.

When someone apologizes to us it validates our pain and gives us an opportunity to truly heal our soul.

Thank you for your rambling thoughts, Bettina, You are so right.....life is too short to waste it on negative things. It may not always work out the way we'd like it to, but reaching out in a sincere way can be the start to repairing a strained relationship. Sometimes both people want to stand their ground or are afraid to make the first move. All that results in is a lot of hard feelings and discontent.

Cassandra.....thanks for reading my article. You brought up some good points. An official apology would help people heal and move on with a lighter heart and positivity.

The House and Senate drafted up apologies a few years ago but I think they are still going around and around with it.

Mistakes are vital learning opportunities. It isn't easy to see them that way when there is pain involved.

It took me a long time to get over my past mistakes, especially if I recognized that I hurt someone else, and I would torment myself with guilt and repentance, hoping beyond hope, that I would be forgiven. Most of these "infractions" according to others seem so minor or even nothing but to me, they were horrible mistakes because, from my spiritual or cosmic perspective, I should have known better. I guess I expected myself to be perfect since I "knew better."

But a precious and critical revelation came to me: In order for any of us to experience the sweet and amazing power of forgiveness, there has to be an offense. And from a cosmic perspective, it is far easier to do the forgiving than to be the one to need forgiveness. No one likes to sign up for the role of the offender but someone must in order for us to experience remorse, humility and forgiveness.

It takes great humility and it is hard to deal with mistakes--our own and those of others.

And guess what? I learned that the one I need to forgive the most is myself.

Thank you, Lori, for your point of view in regards to forgiveness. It is so true that we often have a hard time forgiving ourselves, and it is so important that we do so. It can be difficult but once we do forgive ourselves we can learn from our mistakes and move on.