BellaOnline Forums Money Frugal Living Tipping When You Are Poor

If you're living close the edge financially, should you be a good tipper? Should you tip at all?

Do you tip your hairdresser a few bucks, or a percent of the treatment cost, or nothing at all? Do you feel like the waitstaff hates you at your local pub?

Ethical comments? Rants?

This can be a touchy issue. I'd really like to know what people's opinions are. Remember, no one is right or wrong! No judging!

As a former server, if I knew that someone wanted to tip better but could not afford to do so, a smile and thank you were more than sufficient!

I'm glad you brought this subject to light because sometimes servers forget that customers have their own financial challenges. Not all are rich. And everyone deserves to be able to dine out.

Tell you what would make me smile is a short note from the customer saying, "I'm sorry I can't tip you better but thanks for great service! :)"

When I've been caught short of cash for a tip jar, I always apologize to the server and offer instead a blessing. "I'm so sorry that I don't have cash but you will be blessed for your kindness!" And the person always smiles. Often, they reply, "Oh, that is even better than money!" One guy said, "Oh, I believe in that. I can always use blessings!"

And I make good on my promise. As I depart, I always say a thankfulness blessing for the person, asking God/Universe/Source to pour out blessings of love, joy, health, abundance and riches upon this very kind, hard-working person. May he be rewarded for all his goodness and know how much he is appreciated by customers...that he makes this world a better place!

This is a tough subject. If one can afford it, the cost of the tip should be included when even thinking about going out, and picking out where to go.
But that isn't what this thread is about. When I lived in Oregon, there was a restaurant tax that was proposed - it failed after surveys showed that the largest demographic groups of people who eat out a lot are the poor, and those who are workaholic types. Talk about unrepresentative!
So I guess it is important when your poor to leave what you can, be kind to the waitstaff, be polite and considerate of taking up space when they may be getting busy (don't take a booth up for yourself and only order coffee and an appetizer during dinner time), and consider leaving nice notes, blessings and other kind thoughts for your hard working server - who may very well be as poor as you.

Oh my gosh, Jilly. This is a tough one. I was going to write what Lori did.

I think a little note of thanks, praise and light apology could sometimes be just as much appreciated as a tip. Maybe have some notes made up ahead of time, with a little flower or butterfly sticker on it would be a good idea to keep handy.

Here's MHO.
I rarely eat out, but when I do I figure the tip into the cost of the meal before opening the door. After all, most waitstaff are not paid a big wage and tips are assumed to make up the rest of their salary. If I were to give a tiny tip, or stiff the server entirely, I would be stealing their service. Would you really want someone to do that to you? It's another matter if someone helps you out as a friendly gesture and a verbal "Thanks a lot!" is all that is expected, but by going into the restaurant you are hiring the server to wait on you and should pay him/her the value of that service.

Right on, Claybird!

My mother worked in restaurants when I was a child. If I can't afford to eat what I want and leave a tip, I order something that costs less. The only time when I would not leave a tip would be when the service was completely bad or the server was rude.

another thought for the poor who need to eat out - go to the types of places where tipping is not expected, such as many of the chain fast food places, or grocery store delis. Sit -down restaurants with service may just be out of budget for some.

Don't get me wrong: I am a very generous tipper. I think all former servers are. The only time I don't tip well is if I use my debit card at a counter service/take out place, and they only accept cash tips. I rarely keep cash on me. I usually go out of my way to an ATM to get tip money but sometimes, it just isn't possible.At a sit-down place, they accept credit/debit card tips so no problem.

But back to the original point: Yes, I as a customer consider the tip as part of the overall cost of a meal, not an option. But as a server, I guess I felt for those who couldn't tip me well. I just let it go.

I think I am hearing Claybird, Connie and AKlisa say that if you can't afford to tip well, you shouldn't go to nice sit down places?

I jut wanted to confirm, please!