To all,
Just received a text from a friend regarding "Calm".
I really would like to share it with you,if you do not mind.

Friends:One becomes Calmed by Stilling all Agitation!The brahmin Māgandiya asked the Buddha about how to become calmed:Not dwelling in the past, stilled in the present, one prefers no kind of future!Without irritation, without agitation, without regrets, without worry, neitherboasting, nor proud, but humble and modest, one is indeed a restrained sage...Withdrawn, not opposed to anything, not wanting anything, all unconcerned,aloof, gentle, independent, for such one there exists neither craving or fear for any kind of existence, nor craving or fear for any form of non-existence...Such calmed one is indifferent to sense pleasures, detached, not clinging to any kind of property! For him there is nothing more to take up or lay down!For whatever others might accuse him, he remains tranquil and not agitated!Neither opposing anything, nor attracted to anything, with nothing of his own, not perturbed by what does not exist, such tranquil one is truly calmed! Sutta-Nipāta 849-861 Edited excerpt.

I find this text,so calming ,so simple to understand,so easy to live by.
I hope you enjoy this text,I know I do.

loong

So for things that agitate me in the moment, when is the best procedure to turn that agitation into calm?

Or is it better to monitor one's self to not get into the agitated state in the first place through mindfulness?

Dear Jilly,

The second part of your post is THE solution.Your MIND is the control on everything.If you do not let your mind get you agitated,you have won the battle.When you sense ,that you are
going in the direction of things that agitate ,you, a big NO outloud,should also do the trick.The mind will control you,unless you control it first.

Friend to friend
loong

I like that. I will try to remember to shout NO at my mind when it heads down that corridor.

I have been learning this year about my anxiety triggers. I'm now more aware of what will set me off, and much better at planning around those things. A lot of it involves really paying attention to what is going on, what i have to do, who is around me... i guess that is basically mindfulness. Aha.

I just added Mindfulness to my white board near Equanimity.

I guess this is something without a simple answer or 'procedure'. It's more about developing good habits of awareness, i think.

To Jilly,

You think right!

friend to friend.

norm/loong

I have not been remembering to shout NO in my mind.

I got really worked up last night over an interpersonal thing. I don't want to feel like this about this person anymore. I don't trust myself not to get upset when talking to this person on the phone or face to face.

I guess I should not have this person in my life until i figure out how to release the fetters? I feel both sad and irritated and want to be calm inside.

Oh course there is also ativan....

I miss Loong.

I am feeling calmer though, about an interpersonal issue that's been agitating me. It's easy when putting off seeing the person. Not doing that on purpose, just been busier. The phone calls are easier (I have been telling myself NO when i get worried), but not as easy going for me as they used to be. I guess because I am watching what i say and act, so it's not as natural.

Is this part of mindfulness?

Yes, it's a step. Depending on how strong the attachment is, we may have to really use discipline at first to help loosen it, in the way you have been using 'NO' here. Over time, though it becomes easier, at least for that particular situation. It sounds like you are already moving towards that, because you are feeling calmer. So it will eventually start to feel more easygoing and natural again too. And mindfulness will become a habit, so it won't feel as forced.

Thank you for your thoughtful answer, Lisa. I feel less worried then about coming across as unnatural, if it's all part of retraining myself. It's a worthy thing for me to work on.

I still have the word MINDFULNESS writ large across my whiteboard. Along with Equanimity.