I think i get it. it's not about having no wants, no attachments, or trying to be blah vanilla all the time. It's about being happy either way - whether you are with your loved ones or not, whether you reach your goals or not, or with whatever you have or have not.

I can work with this.

Thank you, Lisa and Loong.

To Jilly

Bravo!Getting very close.

loong

I do think other spiritual traditions teach this also. But the emphasis on 'getting what we want' is one thing that bothers me about modern 'law of attraction' type teachings - teachings that revolve around our ability to attract what we want with our thoughts, emotions, and vibrations. I don't doubt at all that this is possible - as the Buddha said 'with our thoughts we make the world' (and this is often quoted in such teachings.) But what bothers me is the emphasis on the idea that we should focus so much on getting what we want - that creating the life and world we want should be the focus of all our spiritual energies.

My personal spiritual beliefs do not revolve around getting material possessions, but in being happy with who I am and what I have now, not needing more than that to live or to be happy. I can be content to just be alive and breathing, and to have a loving connection with family, friends, nature, and the higher powers that be for me.

Cool, thanks Loong.



Loved Ones: I have had terrible times of missing my spouse (he used to take off for 6 or 9 months), but now that I have cut him free, I feel pretty good. We text and talk as friends, but i am fine with him not being around. I love my family also, but i am fine with them being in the next state over. I would like to see them more, but i am really happy out here and i cherish my alone time.

I am not looking in particular for a mate either. I don't feel the need right now. It's a good feeling.

My one friend in Flagstaff is the only person that I feel a craving to see, and it's the only person that I feel sorrow over not seeing as often as I would like. So of all the world, there really is just the one person that missing brings me sadness. What would a Buddhist do about that one? How do i become accepting and serene over that?

Reaching Goals: I have a lot of goals, but with dan having left, I no longer feel any pressure to achieve them right away. In fact, I feel great that I have nothing but time. It's wonderful to have projects to think about, plan and work on. I don't think i have any goals right now that make me feel sad that I have not achieved. I used to stress out about not being able to work, but since getting my Dx, I am finally at peace about it.

I will have to think further if there are projects that upset me or make me sad/worried.

Have/Have not: I love that I have my own place. I have lived out of my SUV before, while camping for seasons at a time, and also been fine with that. In this stage of my life i prefer having a home. If I didn't have this, though, I'd still make it work.

As for other things, i never really stress about them. I'd be fine without a car - i like to walk and live close to everything. I have a bike and bike trailer for running errands. Even without that, I still am happy to walk all my errands. I'd be fine without any utilities, also. I have turned off my utilities many times to do my frugal living experiments, and i really don't mind.

The one thing i own that stresses me out is my computer. I do like to be connected. I get really agitated if there is something wrong with my connection, or if it's really slow, or if my computer develops an illness. I also don't like how expensive my (slow) connection is. So, here is another craving issue.

And things that I do not own...there are things I would like (a patio set, more solar panels, a canoe), but not having them does not bring me suffering. I assume at some point those things will show up. I have excellent radar for acquiring things for free or near free.

So, in the realm of ATTACHMENT are minor sufferings about one friend, and my internet connection.

There is probably more but that is all i can think of right now.

To Jilly,

Please do not waste your time ,in looking for attachments.
Live your life simply.When something comes along and you become unhappy,then get unattached.

Live your life to the fullest one Now at the time...

Friend to friend
loong

Loong, by that, do you mean give up the friendship? Give up the computer?

BTW i want to thank you for taking the time to discuss this with me. It's very helpful!

To Jilly,

We have a lot in common.I love your complex simplicity,being like that myself.The past being gone, scars still remain and a few of yours remind me of mine.Also you were the first ,to accept me ,here.

Friend to friend

loong/norm

Thank you for your kindness, Loong. Complex simplicity. I really love that. It's going on the white board!