This might be off topic but I was looking for a board that is active. I am inquiring for a friend of mine. My ex husband is threatening to sue her for abusing our son and invading his privacy because of an incident which occured last weekend. It was Friday evening, my son was having a sleepover at my friend's house. She and her husband were at work and because she only works part-time, she got home sooner. The kids were left alone for a short time. My son is 16 and my friend has one son and two daughters. Her daughters are 15 and 16. I also have two other sons but they weren't present at the sleepover. While they were playing around in the swimming pool, my son decided it would be funny to pull down the bikini top from one of the girls. The two girls became upset about this and so they left together and went to their rooms leaving the two boys alone in the pool. When my friend returned home from work that evening, her son, fearing he might get yelled at for what my son did, decided to take a long bath. Meanwhile, the girls were telling mom what happened. My friend became furious and decided that my son wasn't going to stay any longer. With her daughters following along, they went upstairs and into the the guest bedroom where my son was sleeping, flipped on the light and saw that he was awake and under the covers. She told me that she went right up to him without saying a word, grabbed the covers and yanked them off the bed and told him to leave her house. She did this in the presence of her daughters who were with her in the bedroom. Immediately after she yanked the covers off the bed and while she was telling him to leave, she noticed that he wasn't wearing any clothes except for a t-shirt. She told me that he had an erection implying that he had been masturbating before she came into the bedroom and that I should probably have a talk with him about doing it in someone else's bed. After she had yanked the covers away and during that brief moment she was telling him to leave, he became hysterical and screamed continuously as if someone had dumped a jar of spiders on top of him. She said she was embarrassed and startled by his "condition" and his screaming and immediately she left the room and stood just outside the bedroom. Her daughters lingered behind in the bedroom and were called out by their mother. Afterwards, she shut the bedroom door with her eyes averted so as not to see him lying on the bed. She said she could hear him wailing through the door. After my son pulled himself together, he came home sobbing. My friend had already called me before he got home and told me everything that happened. I asked him what was wrong and he told me everything... everything except for the part about him pulling down the bikini top. Some good did come out of it all. Me, my son, and my friend and her two daughters arranged a meeting the next day. My son apologized to the girl whose top he pulled down... and the girls promised not to tell anyone about what happened to him in the bedroom. Now my ex is threatening to sue my friend for "abusing" our son and invading his privacy (she entered the guest bedroom without knocking and yanked the covers off the bed exposing him to her daughters). He is under the impression that she did it on purpose to get even with him. He expresses no sorrow for what his son did to the girl. I firmly believe that what happened was an accident and there is no way my friend could have known that he wasn't wearing anything underneath the covers. She knows he had brought his pj's along and he should have been wearing those. And she shouldn't have to knock on a bedroom door in her own house, especially given the circumstances. She was concerned for the welfare of her children. She never touched him. My friend called me recently and said that she is bothered by my son's reaction to her yanking the covers off the bed and wonders if what she did was harmful to him and considered an "abuse" of some kind. She said the way he was screaming, you'd think he was being tortured or something. She apologized to me for what she did and she said she wishes she had handled it differently. I told her not to worry about it and that he probably deserved it after what he did to her daughter. I would greatly appreciate any thoughts you ladies might have on whether my friend abused him or not and if you have a guess as to why my son became so hysterical. Thank you. April

Holy cow, that is some story. Sounds like a rough night all the way around. While I do find it very odd that your friend yanked the covers off, given how the ending conversation went, I would think everyone, including your son, would be happiest if the whole incident is not discussed further. Is your ex a good enough father that he will place what is your son's best interests first? That is what is key. Your son was (and hopefully) is a friend. He would probably like to maintain some level of friendship. Secondly, this was a horrifying embarassment for him. To have to repeat it to a lawyer, family judge or other person, would only repeat the embarassment. Reliving horribly embarassing moments should be avoided if possible. As for why the screaming -- well.... gosh... who knows how we'll react when suddenly 'exposed' in such a way. Some might curse, some might scream, some might name-call..... I wouldn't worry about why that particular reaction.

Sorry, but if some guest at my home would pull down my daugter's bikini I would be furious too. That was far from acceptable behavior. If he got yelled, he deserved it. As for suing... I know American love suing but this is taking things way too far. The girl's mother could also sue the kid for sexual harrassment. Why let it escalate like that?

Solalux is right. Adolescence is filled with regretful and thoughtless behavior. Adults don't always react appropriately either. But nothing that happened is worth dragging out in court to add to the humiliation and outrage that has already occurred. Chalk it up to a learning experience for both sides and let it go.