BellaOnline Forums Health and Fitness Depression Are any of you suffering from BIPOLAR DISORDER?

I'm still new to this bipolar thing. I mean, I'm not new to being bipolar, but I'm new to knowing that it is bipolar disorder. All my life, I've tried to figure out what was wrong with me. How I could be thinking the only thing to do was kill myself one day, and thinking the next day, that I must've been crazy to think that way, was more than I could understand. The problem(s) might still be there, but it seemed that I could manage them. Then, I'd be right back at doom's door again.

I knew that suicidal thoughts went along with severe depression, but if I were severely depressed, I shouldn't be having days where I had fun and felt good.

My turning point was seeing a show about Linda Hamilton's bipolar disorder. It described her mania as extreme irritability and rages. I had always read that mania was feeling on top of the world, with tons of energy. I had never had a day like that, but had many days like they described her mania. Then, last year, I experienced a full-on manic episode that I thought would kill me. I was so exhausted from lack of sleep that my eyes hurt, and I could barely hold myself up, but I couldn't shut down the thinking. My mind just kept going.

I finally faced the fact that if I'm ever going to have anything close to what most people consider a "normal" life, I will have to be medicated. I've fought it for years, but I'm tired of being tossed around by my moods. I can't plan things because I never know how I'm going to feel and if I'll be able to be around people. I'm just tired of it.

Thanks for all your comments, by the way. (I also suffer from an anxiety disorder, and believe it or not, I get anxious about even coming on this forum! Sorry for not posting before now. Got some meds yesterday...hoping to feel better soon. I've taken these meds before and felt better than I had ever felt--no highs or lows. Just steady. )

I have a different mental illness but a know a lot of bipolar people from the groups in my guidance clinic. I've seen some really low depression stages (almost catatonia) and some mania that is so difficult to be around that it sets off my own aspergers triggers.

I call it too much stimuli. Too much noise and chaos gets to me too, to where I need to remove myself from the situation. It definitely is sensory overload. I don't have it nearly as bad as you can get it, Jilly, but I know exactly what you mean. I go into an anxiety state almost feeling like a panic attack is coming on. When I start to get a little wiggy I know I have to do something about it.

I prefer peace and quiet, with times of joyful noise like my favorite music on occasion. This is one of the reasons I chose not to have kids!

Hi all, I am new here and found this thread. I can very much relate to it, so thought I would share. I have was diagnosed with "manic-depression" when I was 25 (I'm 50 now). I could not function well in either state as depression immobilized me (as someone else stated, near catatonia) while the mania scattered me to the point where I could get nothing done. I did have times of "feeling normal" in between - but depression seemed to rule and still can if I am not careful.

Daily exercise was the first thing I ever used to control mood swings; I tried this after a depressive state so extreme that when I "came out" of it I realized that losing my life was a definite possibility. (I refused to do any meds... too many bad experiences in my family.) After discovering a particular daily exercise that was helpful for me, I learned to use nutrition, too as well as spiritual and mental counseling/guidance. And so, these still help to this day. I still am slightly to one way or the other, but I feel it is normal (at least for me). Sometimes the struggles are daily and I must work harder on myself (tighten diet, get back to exercise, meditate, etc.) and sometimes I actually feel healthy and realize that my emotions are okay to have.