Cassie, I am so happy that you will be living closer to family where you will receive support and love. I applaud you for taking this step as a positive change in your life.

You have been through so much sorrow the last few years and it seems like this move will greatly help you.

It takes a strong and independent woman to do that. I wish you all the best, my dear friend.

Jilly......I know my friend loves me but I really can do without the negative comments.

Telling me I won't be happy living with and near my family is way off base. I have missed my family terribly since they all left here starting 12 years ago. Within 4 years all of my immediate family had moved away to the same area. I am the only one left here, and I am across the country so I can't just drive a few hours to see them. A visit once a year if I am lucky is just not enough. Family is very important to me. I used to see them all the time when they lived close to me, and my mother and I spent weekends together. Going from all of that to next to nothing does not sit well with me. I have not been right since they have all moved.

Another thing, I can't stay where I am anymore. My friends are nice but none live very close to me anyway. I can't find work here, I don't like the climate, and there are too many bad memories. I don't care for the area where I live anymore. I want out of here, and considering all I have been through in the past several years a change is exactly what I need. It would be nice if this particular friend would support my decision, but she is being selfish. She is a high maintenance friend that needs to be called all the time. I can't stay around here just to make her happy.

I do have other friends that support my decision, but even if I did not have their support, it is still my decision to make. I like where I will be moving to.

Phyllis......I am not always feeling strong and independent, but I know this is a move I have to make. Family to me is very important, and I have missed enough years with them already. I had to stay here first because I was married, and then there was just no way I was leaving my wonderful boyfriend and giving up his love in my life while he was still here. But in my heart I've known for some time that I need to get closer to my family some day. The time is now. I don't have any strong ties here anymore. Thanks for your kind words.

Cassie, you are right; a friend absolutely should support your decision even if it makes them sad. That is what I do with my friends, even though i miss some of the ones that have moved away very dearly. There's always facebook.... lol

Good for you in making a move to be a region you prefer with family there! I know i would not be happy if i had to leave the West. I could not imagine being happy on the east coast or in the midwest. I like what I like.

Where are you moving to, then?

I am moving from New England to southern California.

Oh, nice! I love So Cal. I grew up in upstate NY and then moved to San Diego in my last year of high school. Love it there! Good for you.

Dear Jilly -

I agree it is a good thing to have friends who love you and support you. We should all have such friends in our lives.

While I agree that it might be a natural first reaction for some friends to think "I don't want her to go" hopefully a good friend would quickly then move on to " I want her to do what is best for her"

Life is too short to add negativity to it. We should all do our best to care for and nurture those around us.

It seems like people today are very negative and that they enjoy being that way.

That seems true in a lot of cases, Jim. Some people just have the wrong priorities, I think. They are focused on making money, getting ahead, buying the latest technological toys and cars, and they want to be perceived as having social status. The pressure they put on themselves to achieve these lofty goals wears them out in every sense and makes them miserable.

To me, getting back to the simple things in life, caring for others, and spending time to care for my inner being is more important, and it makes me a gentle, compassionate person. If others took a similar approach to life they just might be happier.

Lisa, of course. I am just saying that it's not altogether a bad thing to be missed.

Debbie, i am really trying to understand this. I want to be happier with less and I enjoy making do. I feel zero pressure to put up an image to impress people. I do not understand the psychology behind that. Any ideas why it even occurs?