BellaOnline Forums Relationships Marriage I heard the word is love

Hi, I wasn't sure whether to post in 'marriage' or 'divorce'. That is the question. 28 years. Love, intimacy, respect are all gone...or at least hiding real deep. Fear of the unknown is all that is keeping me from divorce. I don't want to give up, but I honestly don't think I'll ever be able to give her what she deserves. You know the old cliche' - we've grown apart. And I can't remotely relate to her anymore. Is there love out there? Real love? I'm really close to giving up on the idea of love. Yes, we've tried counseling. They weren't miracle workers, though.

Nevermind.

There is real love out there but it is not easy to find. It will come to you when you least expect it, at least that has been my experience. I was divorced after a 19 year relationship. We tried counseling, but counseling in my opinion is only as good as the counselor and the two involved parties. It all depends on how well you relate to the counselor and how much each person really wants to compromise to make things work. Sometimes counseling is a marriage saver, and sometimes it is the last effort a couple can make and still things don't work out. That happened to me.

I found love again unexpectedly and by a very slim chance. My dear boyfriend of 2 years just passed away, far too young. I am devastated, but I won't give up on the idea of having real love again. It was proven to me that even after a long-term marriage breakup I can still find love. I am going to go on and do the best I can to heal, and love will find me again, I am certain. And the reason I am certain is that I have a lot of love to give and I want to love again. A great many people out there just want to be loved.

I'm telling you my story just to let you know that there is life after a divorce, and love will come again if you are open to it and welcome it into your life. It may take some time and you have to heal first, but love can come again. I am a hopeless romantic and I will never give up on finding real love.

My suggestion to you if you do not want to make things work out with your wife anymore, because you have exhausted all the options and the feelings are gone, is to find the strength that lies within you to move on. Fear is natural but you will be ok, and as you settle into your new life it will get better. Being in a relationship where the respect, intimacy, and love are gone won't get you what you need. That is a sad and empty existence. You have to leave in order to welcome a new love into your life. Real love does exist and it can be yours.

I apologize for not posting sooner. I've been away from the forums for a while due to personal emergencies.

Twenty eight years is a long time. It's all too easy for us to grow apart, little by little, tiny steps in the wrong direction, barely noticeable at all...until one day, we look up to see a great distance separating us from the one we once loved so dearly.

If there was any love in your marriage at all, it is still there. Consider it hibernating, dormant, slumbering deeply.

There is a road back.

But first, tell me about the beginning...how you met, how and why you fell in love with her...that is a start.