I wanted to report back in - I just haven't gone much to this yoga class now. It is primarily because of that instructor. I think I have come to accept that what she offers is not what I want and, even though it's "free" (included in my membership) I would rather spend the hour doing yoga on my own.
Which is a shame, I think, but life has its trade-offs.
I don't like the militant types either but I also don't like those hippy granola tree hugger types (what some call ceiling surfers cuz they're just no grounded). I like a balanced instructor who is easy going and fun but who is also good with instruction and with helping you transcend the mat.
Yoga isn't about achieving poses or relaxing or stretching or what most people think it's about but it's hard to find an instructor who is really in tune with what yoga is meant to do.
That is why I stopped going to studios and started just doing Shiva dvd's. I've accomplished more in the last 4 years practicing with her dvd's than I ever did in studios. I can actually meditate now before or after a yoga practice and more often when I practice I feel a freedom I never felt before (mental, physical and spiritual). I never got that from any instructor or studio practice.
I never did go back to that instructor. She was just that much of a non-fit for me. Which is a shame.
I don't tend to use DVDs any more either. I know what routine I like to do, and I do it at my own speed on the back porch. That way there's no TV screen to look at - I am simply out with nature, and the hummingbirds, and the flowers. So that's what works for me.
However I do appreciate feedback, and I wish I had a human watching me to provide advice and suggestions. I always feel there is more to learn, and more that I can improve.