I feel ya. I would if I could, too.
I'm going through some really difficult things right now, and I normally sink into at least a mild depression (or worsening of my depression) this time of year, anyway.
Sometimes I wish EVERYONE could experience major/clinical depression FOR ONE DAY, so they could understand what it feels like, and how difficult it is to live with. Experiencing it is the only way to understand it, but some will never know. We just have to avoid those insensitive people, if possible. If we can't avoid them, we have to remember that they absolutely have no clue.
Connie my fianc�e has Cyclothymic disorder and I have full-blown Bi-Polar Manic.
Through a great deal of suffering and a whole-hearted throwing ourselves upon The Rock of Christ -- The Living Jesus Christ, not some dead guy on a cross -- God arranged for Connie and I to be in Florida because SAD is real serious for us. e.g. Connie endured a 25-year loveless marriage, and I ended up in mental hospitals every time I broke up with a girl !!!
We would be dead or a ward of the state if God did not intervene.
Ask and you shall receive.
The negative forces rampant upon this planet get you soooo lowww that you feel not worthy to ask because they know the eternal cosmic laws of free-will love, wisdom and power a whole hell of a lot better than we do.
Once you pray, know, read, study and Intuit that we live in a cosmos of Light.
And that We Are Royal Children of The GOD of LOVE Father and Mother...
And, the universe was created for us as our playpen to learn our lessons...
Then to hell with the negative forces because they will be dealt with in God's Time not ours !!!!