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#734842 - 12/28/11 08:24 AM How often should a married couple have sex?
Astera Offline
Jellyfish

Registered: 05/11/11
Posts: 191
The Bible doesn�t tell us how often a married couple should have sex, it does tell us that a couple is to abstain only when it is a mutual decision. First Corinthians 7:5 tells us, "Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control." So, mutual consent is the "rule" for how often a married couple should have sex. The "rule" is that abstaining from sex must be agreed upon, and that even when it is agreed upon, it should only be for a short time.

Sex should not be withheld or demanded. If one spouse does not want to have sex, the other spouse should agree to abstain. If one spouse wants to have sex, the other spouse should agree. It is all a matter of compromise. We must remember that our bodies belong to our spouses, as 1 Corinthians 7:4 tells us, "The wife's body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband's body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife." Obviously, the "sexual compromise" in marriage must be reasonable. If one spouse desires sex every day, and the other spouse once a month or less, they will have to lovingly and sacrificially agree to a compromise, a middle ground. Studies show that taking into account all age ranges, a typical married couple has sex 2 times per week.

We have about 1-4 times per week. lovers
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#734882 - 12/28/11 01:34 PM Re: How often should a married couple have sex? [Re: Astera]
Angela J. Shirley Offline
Tiger

Registered: 07/22/10
Posts: 6412
I feel sex should be something that is determined by both partners and as you stated, it has to be mutual.

And sometimes we have to understand that just because one partner does not want to have sex, it does not have to mean something bad.

I am learning this myself as he ages - use to get too "emotional" and when he tried to explain, did not want to hear it(lol).

Now I do, and when we do have sex, it is extra special and meaningful. I no longer keep track of how often at age 53...
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#734896 - 12/28/11 02:08 PM Re: How often should a married couple have sex? [Re: Astera]
VintageGS Offline
Wolf

Registered: 03/29/10
Posts: 5289
Loc: Kansas, USA
I think anytime a "number" is attached to making love it becomes one more thing I must do instead of being something I desire.

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#734899 - 12/28/11 02:16 PM Re: How often should a married couple have sex? [Re: Astera]
Angela J. Shirley Offline
Tiger

Registered: 07/22/10
Posts: 6412
LOL - I agree!
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#734923 - 12/28/11 03:19 PM Re: How often should a married couple have sex? [Re: Angela J. Shirley]
Debbie-SpiritualityEditor Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Elephant

Registered: 01/08/10
Posts: 4312
I agree.....I don't think numbers matter either, as it can vary from week to week, month to month, depending on stress, fatigue level and health of each partner, life's challenges, etc. There should be intimate time to connect with each other on a regular basis, but only when both partners are in agreement.
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#736612 - 01/01/12 01:03 AM Re: How often should a married couple have sex? [Re: Astera]
Happy Birthday Jilly Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Highest Posting Power Known to Humanity

Registered: 02/27/03
Posts: 14286
Loc: Verde Valley, AZ
I personally don't think that if one person wants sex the other should agree. But that is an interesting perspective!

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#736624 - 01/01/12 01:16 AM Re: How often should a married couple have sex? [Re: Astera]
Vi - Blogs/Small Office Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Chipmunk

Registered: 02/13/08
Posts: 1272
Loc: Pennsylvania
I think more than a couple thinks they should. Life is too short not to enjoy the gift of sex...just closing out the year on a high note. wink Hmmm, where is that resolutions list?
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#736751 - 01/01/12 01:40 PM Re: How often should a married couple have sex? [Re: Astera]
Angela J. Shirley Offline
Tiger

Registered: 07/22/10
Posts: 6412
LOL Violette - thanks for the NEW YEAR chuckle smile smile smile
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#736760 - 01/01/12 03:05 PM Re: How often should a married couple have sex? [Re: Astera]
Susan - Meditation Editor Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Chimpanzee

Registered: 10/07/03
Posts: 7375
Loc: The Netherlands
When you're a senior like yours truly, there may come a time when you don't have the choice to deal with this question any more.


Edited by Susan Kramer (01/01/12 03:37 PM)
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#736766 - 01/01/12 03:20 PM Re: How often should a married couple have sex? [Re: Astera]
ancientflaxman Offline
Parakeet

Registered: 11/04/10
Posts: 857
Loc: in the middle of Minnesota
Day and night if they like. Its what its for. Thats half the problem with our puritanical culture. Why do you think that we buy so many E.D. products??? Ponder that a while!!! dave

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#736769 - 01/01/12 03:32 PM Re: How often should a married couple have sex? [Re: Astera]
Phyllis Doyle Burns Offline
Highest Posting Power Known to Humanity

Registered: 11/17/07
Posts: 17642
Loc: Reno, NV
The bible also does not tell us how often to eat sweets -- yet we do so when we have the desire.

How often a couple has sex is up to the individual couple.
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#737956 - 01/04/12 09:27 PM Re: How often should a married couple have sex? [Re: Astera]
Lori - Marriage Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Koala

Registered: 11/26/09
Posts: 2686
Loc: Orange, CA USA
I believe this is a matter between a husband and wife.

It seems to become an issue only when there is a disagreement within the marriage. That is why couples turn to clergy or doctors or other outside sources to provide guidelines to establish fairness to each partner.

Every person's libido is different so I say that each partner should extend courtesy and consideration in achieving mutual satisfaction.
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#737959 - 01/04/12 09:32 PM Re: How often should a married couple have sex? [Re: Astera]
Phyllis Doyle Burns Offline
Highest Posting Power Known to Humanity

Registered: 11/17/07
Posts: 17642
Loc: Reno, NV
Very well said, Lori.
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#738225 - 01/05/12 03:08 PM Re: How often should a married couple have sex? [Re: Lori - Marriage]
Debbie-SpiritualityEditor Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Elephant

Registered: 01/08/10
Posts: 4312
That's right, Lori. It pretty much goes along with the comments here that both people in the relationship should be comfortable with the situation and agree on when intimate time takes place. There is only a problem if one person feels slighted and their needs are not being met. Otherwise every day, once a week, once a month, whatever.....if it works for that couple and they are happy together then there is no problem.
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#785524 - 10/01/12 02:25 AM Re: How often should a married couple have sex? [Re: Astera]
Pantofi Offline
Amoeba

Registered: 09/27/12
Posts: 54
Our numbers: without kids 4-7 times a week with kids: 1-3 times a week.
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#787411 - 10/11/12 04:44 PM Re: How often should a married couple have sex? [Re: Astera]
Craig58 Offline
Parakeet

Registered: 01/28/07
Posts: 974
Loc: Ohio
On how often a couple has sex...

What do you do if one partner says "Please"
and the other partner Always replies "NO" or "Stop it"


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#787623 - 10/13/12 12:11 PM Re: How often should a married couple have sex? [Re: Astera]
DJ_Bear_08 Offline
Newbie

Registered: 05/18/08
Posts: 1
Loc: OHIO
I have been married for just about 35 years ... and so we have 1-3 times a week maybe more it depends on the mood at the time.


Edited by DJ_Bear_08 (10/13/12 03:29 PM)

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#787639 - 10/13/12 02:26 PM Re: How often should a married couple have sex? [Re: Craig58]
Debbie-SpiritualityEditor Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Elephant

Registered: 01/08/10
Posts: 4312
Craig.....you may think it is very stoic to stay in your marriage, but it only hurts you and prevents your wife from taking positive action to increase her own happiness. You are in perpetual stagnation. As I have suggested to you some time ago, you both need to get professional counseling to repair your relationship if your wife won't respond to you sharing your thoughts, feelings, and needs with her.

I can't tell you what to do, but I hate seeing anyone who loves another to have to live in misery. Your wife has issues that can be worked on and healed, and then she can open up to your affection. I don't believe the problem lies solely with you. You are very unhappy and should do something one way or another to make a change in your life. You deserve more, even if your wife does not desire it.
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#787807 - 10/15/12 02:42 AM Re: How often should a married couple have sex? [Re: Astera]
Lori - Marriage Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Koala

Registered: 11/26/09
Posts: 2686
Loc: Orange, CA USA
I also recall Craig's situation, Debbie. You are right in what you say. However, there are trade-offs in relationships, and there are reasons why Craig and his wife stay together.

Craig: Only you can decide what you are willing to do to create a happier life. But "if you keep doing what you're doing, you'll keep getting what you're getting."

Something has to change.

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Marriage editor

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