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#736769 - 01/01/12 03:32 PM Re: How often should a married couple have sex? [Re: Astera]  
Joined: Nov 2007
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Phyllis Doyle Burns Offline
Highest Posting Power Known to Humanity
Phyllis Doyle Burns  Offline
Highest Posting Power Known to Humanity

Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 17,644
Reno, NV
The bible also does not tell us how often to eat sweets -- yet we do so when we have the desire.

How often a couple has sex is up to the individual couple.


Walk in Peace and Harmony.
Phyllis Doyle Burns
Avatar: Fair Helena by Rackham, Public Domain
#737956 - 01/04/12 09:27 PM Re: How often should a married couple have sex? [Re: Astera]  
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Lori - Marriage Offline
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Lori - Marriage  Offline
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Koala

Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 2,691
Orange, CA USA
I believe this is a matter between a husband and wife.

It seems to become an issue only when there is a disagreement within the marriage. That is why couples turn to clergy or doctors or other outside sources to provide guidelines to establish fairness to each partner.

Every person's libido is different so I say that each partner should extend courtesy and consideration in achieving mutual satisfaction.


Lori Phillips
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#737959 - 01/04/12 09:32 PM Re: How often should a married couple have sex? [Re: Astera]  
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Phyllis Doyle Burns Offline
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Phyllis Doyle Burns  Offline
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Reno, NV
Very well said, Lori.


Walk in Peace and Harmony.
Phyllis Doyle Burns
Avatar: Fair Helena by Rackham, Public Domain
#738225 - 01/05/12 03:08 PM Re: How often should a married couple have sex? [Re: Lori - Marriage]  
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Debbie-SpiritualityEditor Offline
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Elephant

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That's right, Lori. It pretty much goes along with the comments here that both people in the relationship should be comfortable with the situation and agree on when intimate time takes place. There is only a problem if one person feels slighted and their needs are not being met. Otherwise every day, once a week, once a month, whatever.....if it works for that couple and they are happy together then there is no problem.


Debbie Grejdus
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#785524 - 10/01/12 02:25 AM Re: How often should a married couple have sex? [Re: Astera]  
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Pantofi Offline
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Our numbers: without kids 4-7 times a week with kids: 1-3 times a week.

#787411 - 10/11/12 04:44 PM Re: How often should a married couple have sex? [Re: Astera]  
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Craig58 Offline
Parakeet
Craig58  Offline
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Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 982
Ohio
On how often a couple has sex...

What do you do if one partner says "Please"
and the other partner Always replies "NO" or "Stop it"


#787623 - 10/13/12 12:11 PM Re: How often should a married couple have sex? [Re: Astera]  
Joined: May 2008
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DJ_Bear_08 Offline
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DJ_Bear_08  Offline
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Joined: May 2008
Posts: 1
OHIO
I have been married for just about 35 years ... and so we have 1-3 times a week maybe more it depends on the mood at the time.

Last edited by DJ_Bear_08; 10/13/12 03:29 PM.
#787639 - 10/13/12 02:26 PM Re: How often should a married couple have sex? [Re: Craig58]  
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Debbie-SpiritualityEditor Offline
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Elephant

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Craig.....you may think it is very stoic to stay in your marriage, but it only hurts you and prevents your wife from taking positive action to increase her own happiness. You are in perpetual stagnation. As I have suggested to you some time ago, you both need to get professional counseling to repair your relationship if your wife won't respond to you sharing your thoughts, feelings, and needs with her.

I can't tell you what to do, but I hate seeing anyone who loves another to have to live in misery. Your wife has issues that can be worked on and healed, and then she can open up to your affection. I don't believe the problem lies solely with you. You are very unhappy and should do something one way or another to make a change in your life. You deserve more, even if your wife does not desire it.


Debbie Grejdus
Spirituality Site Editor
Spirituality Forum Moderator
#787807 - 10/15/12 02:42 AM Re: How often should a married couple have sex? [Re: Astera]  
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 2,691
Lori - Marriage Offline
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Koala

Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 2,691
Orange, CA USA
I also recall Craig's situation, Debbie. You are right in what you say. However, there are trade-offs in relationships, and there are reasons why Craig and his wife stay together.

Craig: Only you can decide what you are willing to do to create a happier life. But "if you keep doing what you're doing, you'll keep getting what you're getting."

Something has to change.



Lori Phillips
Marriage editor

BellaOnline.com Marriage
Twitter: @BellaMarriage

Dreams editor
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The Dream Collective
Dreams: What are you trying to tell yourself?
Twitter: @tweetdreams4u
and @flutterby03
#863640 - 05/12/14 06:37 PM Re: How often should a married couple have sex? [Re: Astera]  
Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 982
Craig58 Offline
Parakeet
Craig58  Offline
Parakeet

Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 982
Ohio
Debbie, Lori,

Thank you for your advice. Since my last post we have had some counseling. It lasted only about three months because my wife was under pressure finishing her MA degree. I have improved myself by losing 85 pounds over the last two years and keeping it off. I have suggested to my wife relationship/marriage self-help books that I have read by Susan Page, but she has read not more than a couple chapters. My relationship with my wife has changed very little from my perspective. However, she thinks our relationship is relatively good, between 7 & 8 on a scale of ten. I think it is more like a 2. I have told her that I feel we act more like roommates than husband & wife or lovers. Unless, she starts to become loving in the next few months I might very likely separate. Love is not a one way street. Love needs more than a few words. Love is a verb, it requires action.

Last edited by Craig58; 05/12/14 06:42 PM.
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