logo

THIS IS THE NEW SERVER - WE ARE STILL TWEAKING IT
Channel List
Beauty & Self
Books & Music
Career
Computers
Education
Family
Food & Wine
Health & Fitness
Hobbies & Crafts
Home & Garden
Money
News & Politics
Relationships
Religion & Spirituality
Sports
Travel & Culture
TV & Movies
Safety
We take forum safety very seriously here at BellaOnline. Please be sure to read through our Forum Guidelines. Let us know if you have any questions or comments!
Newest Members
johnmeto, Peacheslovesjesus, Marionette, Mistoff, Adrian Cahill
57738 Registered Users
Forum Stats
57,738 Registered Members
417 Forums
115,315 Topics
819,954 Posts

Most users ever online: 615 @ 04/22/15 10:11 AM
Top Posters (30 Days)
"Rosie" 402
Nancy Roussy 347
Mona - Astronomy 131
Connie - ADD/Sandwiches 116
Deanna - New Age 67
Sheryl T 58
Korie - California Editor 47
Susan - Meditation Editor 43
Lisa LowCarb / VideoGames 25
Debbie-SpiritualityEditor 24
Ad Income Supports Charity
Page 1 of 81 1 2 3 80 81 >
Topic Options
#733588 - 12/24/11 06:25 AM What is your stress level today?
Angela J. Shirley Offline
Tiger

Registered: 07/22/10
Posts: 6412
Hi Bella Family:

What is your stress LEVEL today?

Me, level 1.

Why, I have the house to myself while my boyfriend and our 2 doggies visit his family in Orlando, Florida. I chose not to go(lol). Needed to work on some freelance stuff in the hopes of generating some income and really not into his family drama. Now, I do MISS the 3 of them big time- that is my family, but it is so nice to be able to watch the only TV we have and fall asleep in front of it(lol). Usually that is Sylvester's spot. With the doggies, they went this time with him (I am in tears) as his son who is really the doggie's owner will be there. I just made sure they would be coming back!!! His son and wife are in the Air Force and went back on base - so we had the pleasure of playing mom & dad to their two mutts (Jeremiah, Jack Russell Terrier & Bobbie/female, a 3-legged Black Pitt Bull who is starting to gray like Sylvester and myself). I cannot wait for them to return as ONE night was all the ME time I needed this time around.

Last night was #1, 3 more to go!

Now your turn...

And Happy Holidays & all the BEST for 2012!!!!


Edited by Angela J. Shirley (12/24/11 06:28 AM)
_________________________
fishMy Blog: How To Survive Unemploymentfish

Top
#734285 - 12/26/11 01:15 PM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Angela J. Shirley]
Jilly Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Highest Posting Power Known to Humanity

Registered: 02/26/03
Posts: 14392
Loc: Verde Valley, AZ
I am doing pretty well with the stressors these days, which i am so thankful for. Right now I am working on not feeling stress from people needing me to hang out with them.

I am reminded to be careful what I ask for! I wanted people to socialize with, and now I have so many I can't keep everyone happy. I am not used to having people want so much of my attention and it makes me feel upset and guilty that I would rather just kick back in my quiet and solitude.


Top
#734288 - 12/26/11 01:20 PM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Angela J. Shirley]
Angela J. Shirley Offline
Tiger

Registered: 07/22/10
Posts: 6412
Hi Jilly:

There is nothing wrong with wanting both.

The trick is find the balance.

Yesterday was stress level was 10+, now a 1 again. Yippeee!

Nothing like my Bella Family while my real family is heading back home as we speak. Having folks that care does cancel out a lot of unhealthy stress. I get stressed when hurting and the hurt wont' go away. That was last night - tonight is going to be awesome - my family is back and I am back to being ME!!! Yippee.... Healing has taken place, thank you Jesus!
_________________________
fishMy Blog: How To Survive Unemploymentfish

Top
#734296 - 12/26/11 01:39 PM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Angela J. Shirley]
Dianne W - Editor Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Wolf

Registered: 11/10/08
Posts: 5191
Loc: Virginia
You're a sweetheart, lady!!!

My stress today is almost non-existant though I know I have some whoppers to deal with when I get back home into the real world. But the day's I spend at my parent's house always re-energize me, ready to take on the world - HERE I come!!! ...LOL...
_________________________
Dianne Walker

Action Movie Editor, Launch Manager
Action Movies Site

How do I relax? I run!
Grandma to Half Marathon

Top
#734516 - 12/27/11 07:22 AM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Angela J. Shirley]
Angela J. Shirley Offline
Tiger

Registered: 07/22/10
Posts: 6412
LOL Dianne, thanks for the "chuckle"...
_________________________
fishMy Blog: How To Survive Unemploymentfish

Top
#735490 - 12/29/11 09:04 AM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Angela J. Shirley]
Dianne W - Editor Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Wolf

Registered: 11/10/08
Posts: 5191
Loc: Virginia
I thought my stress would go way up last night, when I was finally home and when opening mail, received a letter from the home insurance company I've been with for 17 years, that they would cancel my insurance if I didn't make repairs on the house. WHAT!!! Apparently they went around inspecting insured homes.

Some of the things they mentioned had already been fixed others would require a mint of money, oddly enough that didn't even stress me. I must be getting better at this.
_________________________
Dianne Walker

Action Movie Editor, Launch Manager
Action Movies Site

How do I relax? I run!
Grandma to Half Marathon

Top
#736249 - 12/31/11 05:43 AM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Angela J. Shirley]
Angela J. Shirley Offline
Tiger

Registered: 07/22/10
Posts: 6412
Awesome Dianne - you doing good girl.

Today, my stress level shot up to over 100(lol).

Why?

While walking to the office today, I had the pleasure of having some man trying to be in my face. Thank goodness for my "tiny" knife in my hand and paying attention.

I was able to show my knife, yell for him to back up - bringing attention to the situation and get distance between me and him.

Yikes!

Hugs,
A


Edited by Angela J. Shirley (12/31/11 05:43 AM)
_________________________
fishMy Blog: How To Survive Unemploymentfish

Top
#736271 - 12/31/11 06:21 AM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Angela J. Shirley]
Dianne W - Editor Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Wolf

Registered: 11/10/08
Posts: 5191
Loc: Virginia
Oh my! Do be careful, I'm glad your safe!
_________________________
Dianne Walker

Action Movie Editor, Launch Manager
Action Movies Site

How do I relax? I run!
Grandma to Half Marathon

Top
#736575 - 12/31/11 03:16 PM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Angela J. Shirley]
VintageGS Offline
Wolf

Registered: 03/29/10
Posts: 5289
Loc: Kansas, USA
My stress level gets higher each day as winter break slips away. I am not looking forward to going back to work. I'm trying to stay positive but sometimes it is too much and I break down.

Top
#736579 - 12/31/11 03:32 PM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Angela J. Shirley]
Jilly Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Highest Posting Power Known to Humanity

Registered: 02/26/03
Posts: 14392
Loc: Verde Valley, AZ
Shyte, Angela! I am glad you are a strong, observant woman and that you are okay!!!

Keeping your wits about you (and a tiny knife) is the best protection.

My day is going swimmingly. Very relaxing. Just cleaning and organizing and putzing around. Love it.


Edited by Jilly (12/31/11 03:33 PM)

Top
#736723 - 01/01/12 04:55 AM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Angela J. Shirley]
Angela J. Shirley Offline
Tiger

Registered: 07/22/10
Posts: 6412
Thanks Dianne & Jilly for your concern - this morning was back to my "peaceful" walk into the office smile = stress level back to zero!!!

Hi VintageGS, yes going back to work if it is something that is not really you, can create "unhealthy" stress. If you don't mind my asking - do you have any career dreams?

Reason for asking:
Sometimes this helps us to have HOPE that we will get to a point where we do have some stress - this is part of life, keeps us alert/lol - but eliminate a lot of the "unhealthy" stress - the stress that kills folks!!!! Too many of us don't realize the damage "unhealthy" stress do to our body. We are ALWAYS here for you and thanks SO MUCH for stopping by and chatting smile
_________________________
fishMy Blog: How To Survive Unemploymentfish

Top
#737188 - 01/02/12 12:20 PM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Angela J. Shirley]
Jilly Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Highest Posting Power Known to Humanity

Registered: 02/26/03
Posts: 14392
Loc: Verde Valley, AZ
Yesterday I had some stress - was on a first date that I did not have time for and am not sure went well.

Today I have the day off from the demands of other people!YES! I am looking forward to chilling out and getting things organized.

Top
#737446 - 01/03/12 05:27 AM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Angela J. Shirley]
Angela J. Shirley Offline
Tiger

Registered: 07/22/10
Posts: 6412
LOL Jilly, good for you!!!!

Bottom line, you are on a NEW adventure and making adjustments - way to GO...

Me, medium stress levels today. Had an uneventful walk to work, no trains to try to outrun so as not to get stuck on the other side smile smile smile It is in the 20's this morning - thank goodness for "hot flashes"... Kept me warm until I could get to the local store to stop and get a sample of my favorite coffee "hazelnut" with "hazelnut" creamer = delicious. Chatted with the store clerk, then headed on the final stretch to the office.

Guess what, someone at the office I work out of 16 hours a week freelancing, gave me a second-hand laptop yesterday. God is so GOOD!!! Now to keep it away from Sylvester's family - they tore up the one he had gotten me from a pawn shop.

Hugs,
A


Edited by Angela J. Shirley (01/03/12 05:29 AM)
_________________________
fishMy Blog: How To Survive Unemploymentfish

Top
#737642 - 01/03/12 10:58 AM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Angela J. Shirley]
Jilly Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Highest Posting Power Known to Humanity

Registered: 02/26/03
Posts: 14392
Loc: Verde Valley, AZ
mmm, I love hazelnut. And protect your new laptop! Why did they tear it up?

Today I have a meeting with my new clinician, and I am a little nervous - everyone so far has said she is hard and unpleasant. I will bring my little medical binder and see if that helps her like me a little.

I am hoping she can help me with the little matter of the pinkeye too. If not I will need to work a visit to a different dr in. Maybe I will call her now and see if she will want to see me apart from the clinician.

Other than those medical things I have the rest of the day to work on organizing, cleaning, and resting.

Top
#738494 - 01/06/12 05:33 AM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Jilly]
Angela J. Shirley Offline
Tiger

Registered: 07/22/10
Posts: 6412
His family has no "respect" for his stuff and felt they were going to do the same with mine(lol). I am working on getting a LARGE trunk so that I can lock up my stuff when I begin to travel. With my NEW laptop (well, second-hand/lol) - I can now follow my heart - travel to Atlanta, Georgia in search of some much needed freelance income.

My stress level, calm, finally realizing that only God can resolve my lack of income since 12/10/11(lol). But I still feel ashamed when I get home with ZERO to contribute to the household although Sylvester says he does not mind. I do frown


Originally Posted By: Jilly
mmm, I love hazelnut. And protect your new laptop! Why did they tear it up?

Today I have a meeting with my new clinician, and I am a little nervous - everyone so far has said she is hard and unpleasant. I will bring my little medical binder and see if that helps her like me a little.

I am hoping she can help me with the little matter of the pinkeye too. If not I will need to work a visit to a different dr in. Maybe I will call her now and see if she will want to see me apart from the clinician.

Other than those medical things I have the rest of the day to work on organizing, cleaning, and resting.
_________________________
fishMy Blog: How To Survive Unemploymentfish

Top
#738627 - 01/06/12 11:52 AM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Angela J. Shirley]
Jilly Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Highest Posting Power Known to Humanity

Registered: 02/26/03
Posts: 14392
Loc: Verde Valley, AZ
You are lucky your mate is cool about this. I'd accept that contentedly - it should take some of the pressure off you. smile

I did see my clinician, who is fine. I don't know why some people don't like her. maybe they are just sensitive. Or maybe since I was prewarned my expectations were already low. That can happen.

Today I don't feel very good, so to keep my stress level down, I am lying low and not leaving the house.

Top
#738802 - 01/07/12 07:38 AM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Jilly]
Angela J. Shirley Offline
Tiger

Registered: 07/22/10
Posts: 6412
LOL Jilly, that will get old really fast as he is used to being used by folks.

So I am not getting comfortable with his acceptance.

I guess I have ALWAYS been very "hard" on myself and he says I am - but it is all about my insides.

I have the office to myself = totally enjoying not having my boss around smile smile smile = normal stress level.

Originally Posted By: Jilly
You are lucky your mate is cool about this. I'd accept that contentedly - it should take some of the pressure off you. smile

I did see my clinician, who is fine. I don't know why some people don't like her. maybe they are just sensitive. Or maybe since I was prewarned my expectations were already low. That can happen.

Today I don't feel very good, so to keep my stress level down, I am lying low and not leaving the house.
_________________________
fishMy Blog: How To Survive Unemploymentfish

Top
#738901 - 01/07/12 01:24 PM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Angela J. Shirley]
Jilly Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Highest Posting Power Known to Humanity

Registered: 02/26/03
Posts: 14392
Loc: Verde Valley, AZ
Ah, if he is used to be used that can be weird.


Today I am so glad I have nothing on my calendar. I have a list of things I could do, but nothing I must do.

And I slept in too. Looking like a great weekend.

Top
#738943 - 01/07/12 03:14 PM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Angela J. Shirley]
VintageGS Offline
Wolf

Registered: 03/29/10
Posts: 5289
Loc: Kansas, USA
Today the stress level is at zero and after the week I had that is quite an accomplishment!

Top
#739920 - 01/11/12 01:17 PM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Jilly]
Angela J. Shirley Offline
Tiger

Registered: 07/22/10
Posts: 6412
Good for you Jilly, we all need to sleep in once in a while.

Originally Posted By: Jilly
Ah, if he is used to be used that can be weird.


Today I am so glad I have nothing on my calendar. I have a list of things I could do, but nothing I must do.

And I slept in too. Looking like a great weekend.
_________________________
fishMy Blog: How To Survive Unemploymentfish

Top
#739921 - 01/11/12 01:17 PM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: VintageGS]
Angela J. Shirley Offline
Tiger

Registered: 07/22/10
Posts: 6412
Good for you.

Originally Posted By: VintageGS
Today the stress level is at zero and after the week I had that is quite an accomplishment!
_________________________
fishMy Blog: How To Survive Unemploymentfish

Top
#739922 - 01/11/12 01:18 PM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Angela J. Shirley]
Angela J. Shirley Offline
Tiger

Registered: 07/22/10
Posts: 6412
Today my stress level is a little high, but I am determined not to let it get any higher.

Prayer does help with things we have no control over.
_________________________
fishMy Blog: How To Survive Unemploymentfish

Top
#740288 - 01/12/12 10:32 PM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Angela J. Shirley]
ashusood Offline
Newbie

Registered: 01/10/12
Posts: 22
my stress level today 10 because i suffered from lot of work on system and right now suffering from pain in my neck

Top
#740295 - 01/12/12 11:12 PM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Angela J. Shirley]
Jilly Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Highest Posting Power Known to Humanity

Registered: 02/26/03
Posts: 14392
Loc: Verde Valley, AZ
ashusood, I am sorry to hear about your neck pain. A warm bath usually helps me, and some ibuprofen.

Today's stress was mostly even keeled. I had class and enjoyed that and got to ask a few questions about things that had been troubling me. Then this afternoon was productive.

Top
#741819 - 01/19/12 04:52 PM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Angela J. Shirley]
Jilly Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Highest Posting Power Known to Humanity

Registered: 02/26/03
Posts: 14392
Loc: Verde Valley, AZ
A good day. I had a class that was good, I got to wear my new animal hood, and got a package in the mail for some cleaning tools I was looking forward to using. YAY!

Top
#742582 - 01/24/12 10:58 AM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Angela J. Shirley]
AprilAlisaMarquette Offline
Shark

Registered: 09/10/09
Posts: 382
Loc: The South
Hi Angela,

My stress level today is quite low. It didn't start out that way, but stress is something I have to work at managing. Thank you for asking.

I also wanted to tell Debbie that the article
What happy people do differently
is fabulous. Love it -- especially the line where you say: Civility generates happiness! Smiles rebound good energy.

Have a stress-free day ladies!


Top
#742901 - 01/26/12 12:38 AM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Angela J. Shirley]
Jilly Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Highest Posting Power Known to Humanity

Registered: 02/26/03
Posts: 14392
Loc: Verde Valley, AZ
Today I had an anxiety meltdown in my case manager's office. The good news is I was able to process it relatively quickly, for me, and move on. The rest of the day went fine.

Top
#744305 - 02/02/12 06:51 PM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Angela J. Shirley]
Jilly Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Highest Posting Power Known to Humanity

Registered: 02/26/03
Posts: 14392
Loc: Verde Valley, AZ
High. Today is very very high. Red zone. Need to crawl into bed.

Top
#744322 - 02/02/12 07:12 PM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Jilly]
Debbie-SpiritualityEditor Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Elephant

Registered: 01/08/10
Posts: 4574
Medium stress level for me.

Worried about finances, finding a job, having to move across the country within several months, whether or not I can financially keep my two horses, etc. Pair all that with grieving over my sweet boyfriend who just passed away, and it makes for a not so nice day.

I did get out for a walk with my dogs and that helped, and writing in my journal did help too. But in the back of my mind are all the things I know I need to get done. And right now I have no energy to even try.
_________________________
Debbie Grejdus
Spirituality Site Editor
Spirituality Forum Moderator

Top
#744325 - 02/02/12 07:15 PM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Angela J. Shirley]
VintageGS Offline
Wolf

Registered: 03/29/10
Posts: 5289
Loc: Kansas, USA
Stress Level is low right now. Another work week is almost over. Can't say it is getting any easier or better but it is more familiar. That always helps.

Top
#744328 - 02/02/12 07:28 PM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Angela J. Shirley]
Dave S Offline
Newbie

Registered: 02/02/12
Posts: 4
Not too bad all things considered. A good dose of radiant vitamin D would be nice. Didn't get a chance to get outside today.

Top
#744335 - 02/02/12 07:54 PM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Angela J. Shirley]
Jenny - Feng Shui Offline
Jellyfish

Registered: 12/19/11
Posts: 130
Loc: West Virginia
Very, very low, about a -5...the pain from my most recent 'flare' was gone when I work up. Yay!
_________________________
Jenny McKinney, Ph.D.
Feng Shui

Top
#744553 - 02/03/12 10:30 PM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Angela J. Shirley]
Lisa LowCarb / VideoGames Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Highest Posting Power Known to Humanity

Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 21139
Vitamin D definitely helps with stress - as does a nice long nap!

Remember that tomorrow is always another day!
_________________________
Lisa Shea, Low Carb / Video Games Editor
Low Carb Forum

Top
#744669 - 02/04/12 05:29 PM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Angela J. Shirley]
Jilly Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Highest Posting Power Known to Humanity

Registered: 02/26/03
Posts: 14392
Loc: Verde Valley, AZ
Mild today, thankfully. This is on purpose. The last three days were hellacious. Today and tomorrow I am planning to do nothing stressy.

Top
#744684 - 02/04/12 06:36 PM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Jilly]
Debbie-SpiritualityEditor Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Elephant

Registered: 01/08/10
Posts: 4574
Stress level is low today, probably because I am tired.
_________________________
Debbie Grejdus
Spirituality Site Editor
Spirituality Forum Moderator

Top
#744774 - 02/05/12 03:17 PM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Angela J. Shirley]
Jilly Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Highest Posting Power Known to Humanity

Registered: 02/26/03
Posts: 14392
Loc: Verde Valley, AZ
Mild today, thankfully.

Cassie, tired is an okay place to be. Emotional stress and grief are very draining. Take lots of rest for yourself.

Top
#745814 - 02/11/12 03:32 PM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Angela J. Shirley]
Jilly Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Highest Posting Power Known to Humanity

Registered: 02/26/03
Posts: 14392
Loc: Verde Valley, AZ
Mild today, which is nice. I spent some quality time crying last night over Dan leaving, but he held me while I cried and stroked my back.

It's sad, but it will work out for the best. This marriage isn't going anywhere either of us would want for ourselves.

Anyway, just doing some housekeeping and forum posting - a mellow day.

Top
#746174 - 02/13/12 08:48 PM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Jilly]
Debbie-SpiritualityEditor Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Elephant

Registered: 01/08/10
Posts: 4574
Low today, thankfully.
_________________________
Debbie Grejdus
Spirituality Site Editor
Spirituality Forum Moderator

Top
#746182 - 02/13/12 09:16 PM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Angela J. Shirley]
Jilly Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Highest Posting Power Known to Humanity

Registered: 02/26/03
Posts: 14392
Loc: Verde Valley, AZ
Started out irritated at nothing today, then did some writing, posted a few articles ahead of schedule, and feel peaceful now.

I still might be fighting a cold. My sleeping problems are not helping. I hope i do get some good sleep tonite and am able to be up and at em tomorrow. Got lots of errands to do.

Top
#746369 - 02/14/12 10:35 PM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Angela J. Shirley]
Jilly Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Highest Posting Power Known to Humanity

Registered: 02/26/03
Posts: 14392
Loc: Verde Valley, AZ
Woke up late again, ran out of bed, and then got a few good things across town done! that felt good! Hoping to get in bed by midnite tonite and wake up early enough to get much more done.

Top
#746569 - 02/15/12 06:29 PM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Angela J. Shirley]
Jilly Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Highest Posting Power Known to Humanity

Registered: 02/26/03
Posts: 14392
Loc: Verde Valley, AZ
had a pretty bad meltdown today. I had to crawl under my case manager's desk and have a good cry. NOw i have a headache. Will drink water. Wish I could take a bath.

Top
#746574 - 02/15/12 06:42 PM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Jilly]
Debbie-SpiritualityEditor Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Elephant

Registered: 01/08/10
Posts: 4574
Oh, Jilly. So sorry to hear of your difficult time. Maybe light a candle or two and put on some soft music to wind down tonight. I hope you were able to take a walk today after the meltdown. That can help.

Don't you have a friend in the area who would let you take a bath at their place now and then?

I hope you will have a better day tomorrow.
_________________________
Debbie Grejdus
Spirituality Site Editor
Spirituality Forum Moderator

Top
#746575 - 02/15/12 06:43 PM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Debbie-SpiritualityEditor]
Debbie-SpiritualityEditor Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Elephant

Registered: 01/08/10
Posts: 4574
My stress level today is low.
_________________________
Debbie Grejdus
Spirituality Site Editor
Spirituality Forum Moderator

Top
#746585 - 02/15/12 07:00 PM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Debbie-SpiritualityEditor]
Jilly Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Highest Posting Power Known to Humanity

Registered: 02/26/03
Posts: 14392
Loc: Verde Valley, AZ
Thank you, Cassie. That is nice that you feel better today. Good for you. What have you done to feel more peaceful?

I will take your advice and light some candles. Great idea.

I can think about friends and tubs. it's a thought, thanks.

Top
#746595 - 02/15/12 07:17 PM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Jilly]
Debbie-SpiritualityEditor Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Elephant

Registered: 01/08/10
Posts: 4574
I take my dogs for a walk every day if possible. I allow myself lots of time to reflect and do what I need to for myself.

With still being unemployed I have time to do this, but I do need to start the job search again very soon. I need expense money and funds to move later in the year. I took a break with the job search because my boyfriend died and there was lots to do, and then the grief took me over full force and sent me into a whirlwind of pain.

I am trying to accept what happened. Going on without him is very difficult. Just two years ago I had to go through another death of sorts....my marriage. That was something I did not want, and the pain was great there too. I know there are a lot of life lessons here for me, but it does stink to have to be in pain a lot, especially because of losing a man I love deeply. I am trying to find the positive in all of this just to be able to survive. The only good thing about my boyfriend's passing is that he is no longer suffering.

In a nutshell.....making time for myself for whatever it is that I need, cutting myself a little slack, and doing the best I can to be positive is helping me with the stress. It is not always easy but I am doing the best I can.

_________________________
Debbie Grejdus
Spirituality Site Editor
Spirituality Forum Moderator

Top
#746601 - 02/15/12 08:01 PM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Angela J. Shirley]
Vi - Blogs/Small Office Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Chipmunk

Registered: 02/12/08
Posts: 1272
Loc: Pennsylvania
High! My husband is coming home in a couple of hours after being gone for nearly two weeks and the house is a mess, I've caught the cold of my youngest daughter and I'm exhausted. I don't know how single moms do it. And really, it is not that much better having three kids and hubby home, as helpful as he is, but dang, to lay down at night and not be alone after a long day...man, I've been missing that. It didn't help he was across the globe and we talked or texted maybe five minutes a day.
_________________________
Violette DeSantis, Writely Applied
Blogs/Social Networking Editor
Small Office/Home Office Editor
Sign up for the newsletters!

Now writing at BloggingTips.com & Soaps.com. For updates visit videsantis.WritelyApplied.com.

"Energy rightly applied and directed will accomplish anything" ~ Nellie Bly

Top
#748068 - 02/25/12 08:02 AM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Vi - Blogs/Small Office]
Debbie-SpiritualityEditor Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Elephant

Registered: 01/08/10
Posts: 4574
My stress level is low today. That is nice.
_________________________
Debbie Grejdus
Spirituality Site Editor
Spirituality Forum Moderator

Top
#748070 - 02/25/12 08:05 AM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Angela J. Shirley]
Connie - ADD/Sandwiches Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Stone Age Human

Registered: 10/02/10
Posts: 8938
Loc: Kansas USA
Mine's pretty low, too. The Sandwiches article has posted, and the newsletter and forum are up to date.

I'm getting ready to go teach my Saturday classes. It's the last class of the session, so we all know each other really well. It should be an excellent day.
_________________________
Connie Mistler Davidson-Editor-ADD/Sandwiches
Attention Deficit Disorder
Sandwiches
Avatar: There is Hope~Even when conditions are harsh, hope can bloom.

Here is a link to my EBook.
Building School Success with ADD EBook Link





Top
#748476 - 02/27/12 11:25 PM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Angela J. Shirley]
Jilly Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Highest Posting Power Known to Humanity

Registered: 02/26/03
Posts: 14392
Loc: Verde Valley, AZ
Today was nice and mellow, just like the weekend. I made some decisions, got some things done, and it feels quite good. smile

Top
#748624 - 02/28/12 05:31 PM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Jilly]
Debbie-SpiritualityEditor Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Elephant

Registered: 01/08/10
Posts: 4574
I am happy for you, Jilly. I am feeling pretty calm myself.
_________________________
Debbie Grejdus
Spirituality Site Editor
Spirituality Forum Moderator

Top
#748640 - 02/28/12 08:05 PM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Angela J. Shirley]
Jilly Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Highest Posting Power Known to Humanity

Registered: 02/26/03
Posts: 14392
Loc: Verde Valley, AZ
Thank you cassie. Glad you are calm too.

Today was fine. I was running around doing stuff but felt mostly calm. I did do a nice walk along Beaver Creek with a friend that I am getting to know.

Top
#749638 - 03/05/12 02:31 PM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Angela J. Shirley]
Jilly Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Highest Posting Power Known to Humanity

Registered: 02/26/03
Posts: 14392
Loc: Verde Valley, AZ
Today is going well. No real stress. Just doing some reading and minor gardening.

Top
#750491 - 03/10/12 02:12 PM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Angela J. Shirley]
Lisa LowCarb / VideoGames Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Highest Posting Power Known to Humanity

Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 21139
Dear Jilly -

It is wonderful that you are creating an environment that brings you serenity! Kudos to you - it has ben a long time coming and you definitely deserve it.

_________________________
Lisa Shea, Low Carb / Video Games Editor
Low Carb Forum

Top
#753788 - 03/27/12 07:08 PM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Jilly]
Debbie-SpiritualityEditor Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Elephant

Registered: 01/08/10
Posts: 4574
High level of stress today.

I explained in the "How did you sleep last night?" thread. My stomach is in knots. I have not felt this kind of stress in a while. I had hoped I wouldn't have to again.
_________________________
Debbie Grejdus
Spirituality Site Editor
Spirituality Forum Moderator

Top
#753799 - 03/27/12 08:30 PM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Angela J. Shirley]
Jilly Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Highest Posting Power Known to Humanity

Registered: 02/26/03
Posts: 14392
Loc: Verde Valley, AZ
Today was peaceful, but this evening i starting feeling a little freaked out when i went to the food line at the Bread of Life. Too much noise and activity and people and sounds. I did get plenty of food to take home though.

Top
#753852 - 03/28/12 07:04 AM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Jilly]
Debbie-SpiritualityEditor Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Elephant

Registered: 01/08/10
Posts: 4574
I am very sensitive to noise and lots of activity too. The excess energy vibes can really get to me. I prefer peaceful places.
_________________________
Debbie Grejdus
Spirituality Site Editor
Spirituality Forum Moderator

Top
#754076 - 03/29/12 07:47 AM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Debbie-SpiritualityEditor]
Debbie-SpiritualityEditor Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Elephant

Registered: 01/08/10
Posts: 4574
Stress level has gone down considerably. Thank goodness.
_________________________
Debbie Grejdus
Spirituality Site Editor
Spirituality Forum Moderator

Top
#754367 - 03/30/12 11:28 AM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Angela J. Shirley]
Lisa LowCarb / VideoGames Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Highest Posting Power Known to Humanity

Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 21139
That's wonderful to hear, Cassie! I'm glad you are relaxing. Spring is coming, and it's nice to breathe in that fresh air.

Jilly - I dislike crowds as well and they can make me tense. Bob and I did a mall walk a few days ago to test out the Biggest Loser SlimCoach and other pedometers against each other. The weather was too nasty to do the test outside. He asked if I wanted to eat in the food court afterwards, and I adamantly said no; I didn't want to deal with the noise and people even though it wasn't very full.
_________________________
Lisa Shea, Low Carb / Video Games Editor
Low Carb Forum

Top
#757217 - 04/15/12 02:41 PM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Lisa LowCarb / VideoGames]
Debbie-SpiritualityEditor Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Elephant

Registered: 01/08/10
Posts: 4574
Stress level is pretty low today.
_________________________
Debbie Grejdus
Spirituality Site Editor
Spirituality Forum Moderator

Top
#757404 - 04/16/12 05:10 PM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Angela J. Shirley]
Jilly Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Highest Posting Power Known to Humanity

Registered: 02/26/03
Posts: 14392
Loc: Verde Valley, AZ
Mild today. Just staying in my PJs and doing stuff around the house. Concerned though about my birthday tomorrow. I have no plans and I think I will be sad and lonely.

Top
#757406 - 04/16/12 05:25 PM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Angela J. Shirley]
loong Offline
Gecko

Registered: 03/08/12
Posts: 417
Loc: Mt Tremblant,quebec ,can
To all,

My day was as expected,beautiful,stress level,pretty low.To Jilly
Your birthday is only tomorrow.why don't we all enjoy this beautiful moment together.Dear Debbie,if they gave you the job ,it is surely because ,and I am sure,because you will do a great job.

Loving to everyone.

loong

Top
#757413 - 04/16/12 05:44 PM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Angela J. Shirley]
Jilly Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Highest Posting Power Known to Humanity

Registered: 02/26/03
Posts: 14392
Loc: Verde Valley, AZ
Loong, you are right intellectually - a birthday is only a day, and fretting over it only ruins the now.

Top
#760637 - 05/03/12 09:14 AM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Jilly]
Debbie-SpiritualityEditor Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Elephant

Registered: 01/08/10
Posts: 4574
Stress is a little more manageable today. Yesterday I almost had a meltdown.
_________________________
Debbie Grejdus
Spirituality Site Editor
Spirituality Forum Moderator

Top
#764489 - 05/24/12 08:28 AM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Debbie-SpiritualityEditor]
Debbie-SpiritualityEditor Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Elephant

Registered: 01/08/10
Posts: 4574
My biggest stress lately is over trying to find a job. I am all out of reserves and getting desperate. If it was not for that issue I would be doing a lot better overall.

One day at a time.....
_________________________
Debbie Grejdus
Spirituality Site Editor
Spirituality Forum Moderator

Top
#764607 - 05/24/12 04:28 PM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Angela J. Shirley]
Jilly Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Highest Posting Power Known to Humanity

Registered: 02/26/03
Posts: 14392
Loc: Verde Valley, AZ
had a few meltdowns over the last week with the whole trying to get social security income thing. better today. Still having a hard time being around people. It takes so much effort.

Top
#768802 - 06/18/12 04:42 PM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Angela J. Shirley]
Jilly Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Highest Posting Power Known to Humanity

Registered: 02/26/03
Posts: 14392
Loc: Verde Valley, AZ
Pretty good right now. I had family out last week, so i got a lot of rest over the weekend and am catching up on stuff this week.

I highly recommend allowing yourself rest days after house guests!

Top
#768818 - 06/18/12 05:59 PM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Angela J. Shirley]
Vi - Blogs/Small Office Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Chipmunk

Registered: 02/12/08
Posts: 1272
Loc: Pennsylvania
Not bad. It was the official first day of summer. I was going to get the kids up early, since the youngest has a school program starting next week...but we slept in. I guess the Father's Day festivities allowed me to spoil everyone.
_________________________
Violette DeSantis, Writely Applied
Blogs/Social Networking Editor
Small Office/Home Office Editor
Sign up for the newsletters!

Now writing at BloggingTips.com & Soaps.com. For updates visit videsantis.WritelyApplied.com.

"Energy rightly applied and directed will accomplish anything" ~ Nellie Bly

Top
#773107 - 07/15/12 09:35 AM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Vi - Blogs/Small Office]
Debbie-SpiritualityEditor Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Elephant

Registered: 01/08/10
Posts: 4574
Pretty low stress today because I am taking a day to myself. Most of my days now are pretty busy.
_________________________
Debbie Grejdus
Spirituality Site Editor
Spirituality Forum Moderator

Top
#773639 - 07/17/12 06:31 PM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Angela J. Shirley]
Jilly Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Highest Posting Power Known to Humanity

Registered: 02/26/03
Posts: 14392
Loc: Verde Valley, AZ
Low stress also, am taking a day mostly off. I accomplished my one big thing of getting a battery put in my jeep.

I have one big thing for tomorrow too. Just taking it easy in general this summer.

Top
#774846 - 07/24/12 06:36 PM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Jilly]
Debbie-SpiritualityEditor Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Elephant

Registered: 01/08/10
Posts: 4574
It was high stress this morning but I was able to resolve some things, so it got better towards the end of the day. I am wiped out now.....
_________________________
Debbie Grejdus
Spirituality Site Editor
Spirituality Forum Moderator

Top
#774911 - 07/25/12 06:45 AM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Debbie-SpiritualityEditor]
Debbie-SpiritualityEditor Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Elephant

Registered: 01/08/10
Posts: 4574
Stress level a little better today. Still quite tired, though.
_________________________
Debbie Grejdus
Spirituality Site Editor
Spirituality Forum Moderator

Top
#774917 - 07/25/12 07:53 AM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Angela J. Shirley]
Ice land Offline
Jellyfish

Registered: 07/03/12
Posts: 103
Well, I am very busy and have a stree of can't finish the task.

Top
#776083 - 08/02/12 02:29 AM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Angela J. Shirley]
online jewelry store Offline
Newbie

Registered: 07/18/12
Posts: 12

Top
#776169 - 08/02/12 03:56 PM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Angela J. Shirley]
Jilly Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Highest Posting Power Known to Humanity

Registered: 02/26/03
Posts: 14392
Loc: Verde Valley, AZ
I had a very social couple of days this week, so i am staying in bed today. Just reading and writing. It helps to plan for down time after active/social time, to restore my inner resources.

I think I will make myself some decaf and go back to bed with my netbook.

I posted a vine review already, so i even feel productive.

Top
#776183 - 08/02/12 04:45 PM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Angela J. Shirley]
Yvonnie-Inspired Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Chipmunk

Registered: 02/18/11
Posts: 1357
Loc: Illinois, US
Originally Posted By: online jewelry store

Hope world is stress free someday.


That's a wonderful sentiment online jewelry store. I too hope that.

Today I am feeling stress-less; in fact, I would say, "at ease." My older girls are away and my hubby is available to help with my youngest. I have taken to juicing today and affirming an attitude of unconditional love. I feel very understanding that everyone is learning and experiencing life parallel to my life. Therefore, I am taking nothing personally and my world is calm.
_________________________
Yvonnie DuBose
Inspiration

Top
#786449 - 10/05/12 07:35 PM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Angela J. Shirley]
Jilly Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Highest Posting Power Known to Humanity

Registered: 02/26/03
Posts: 14392
Loc: Verde Valley, AZ
Feeling good today. I was all set to do ranch sitting and then found out i wasn't needed, so that threw me. I don't like unexpected changes. But i won't ever say no to the chance to hang around and read all day...so, feeling at ease. smile

Top
#786990 - 10/09/12 04:29 PM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Angela J. Shirley]
Lisa LowCarb / VideoGames Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Highest Posting Power Known to Humanity

Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 21139
That is wonderful that you are finding stress-free days in your life, Jilly! You have really created quite a lovely atmosphere for yourself. Kudos!
_________________________
Lisa Shea, Low Carb / Video Games Editor
Low Carb Forum

Top
#793316 - 11/18/12 10:27 PM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Angela J. Shirley]
Jilly Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Highest Posting Power Known to Humanity

Registered: 02/26/03
Posts: 14392
Loc: Verde Valley, AZ
Today: off the charts, almost suicidally bad. I can't live like this.

Top
#800119 - 01/11/13 02:38 AM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Angela J. Shirley]
guarnad Offline
Newbie

Registered: 01/09/13
Posts: 7
There is nothing wrong today with me. But the weather conditions are very worse.I am managing every thing in very best way and living happy life. Thanks for sharing.

Top
#800124 - 01/11/13 03:08 AM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Angela J. Shirley]
Ruby June Offline
Newbie

Registered: 12/15/12
Posts: 41
Loc: Spokane
According to all the high levels of stress inducing things going on all around me today, I should be in bed with my blankets pulled over my head. But....I've been working on stress reduction for about a year and I am breathing, meditating, writing through the life events that want to crush me. Sometimes I wonder if there will be a tipping point that will either send me sailing off into space with no life suit on...or....let me be the person I work toward developing: peaceful.

Top
#800258 - 01/11/13 08:06 PM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Angela J. Shirley]
Jilly Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Highest Posting Power Known to Humanity

Registered: 02/26/03
Posts: 14392
Loc: Verde Valley, AZ
It was very high all through the day de to messing with governmental regulations to get next month's meds ahead of time, final packing for my trip, traffic construction diversion on the interstate, my cat screeching in my ear the entire drive, having my car stop running six times so far out to CA, and then finding every motel in Gila Bend was booked solid. I made it down to some town called Wellton where I could find a room (by then, at 1am).

I took my ativan and stayed mostly calm. No temper tantrums. I am proud of myself. And now, at this motel, I just took a long hot bath in a really deep, clean tub. Feeling peaceful at last. I will even do some gentle yoga stretches.

Tomorrow will be more car stress (this will be it's last trip). But i just have to limp it along to San Diego, and everything else will be taken care of. Parents are GREAT!. :-)

Top
#802066 - 01/22/13 08:48 AM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Jilly]
Debbie-SpiritualityEditor Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Elephant

Registered: 01/08/10
Posts: 4574
Hang in there and stay safe, Jilly!
_________________________
Debbie Grejdus
Spirituality Site Editor
Spirituality Forum Moderator

Top
#808154 - 02/26/13 04:55 PM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Angela J. Shirley]
Nancy Roussy Offline
Tiger

Registered: 01/17/13
Posts: 6636
Loc: Grand-Métis, Quebec, Canada
Today it is low. Welcoming change since not only am I not a stranger to stress but lately I have had a few panic attacks and more things due to stress (i am dealing with the rest of what happened lately and most of it is gone thankfully...it keeps on getting back but i can let go soon after and it does not affect me like it did)!
_________________________
"Don't worry, the spider is smaller than you." Yeah, so is a grenade!

Top
#808872 - 02/28/13 10:24 AM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Angela J. Shirley]
Jilly Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Highest Posting Power Known to Humanity

Registered: 02/26/03
Posts: 14392
Loc: Verde Valley, AZ
No stress today. I had an unfortunate meltdown last night, which wore me out. In good news, that made me sleep early and long.

Today is just a day to be alone, rest, recuperate from dental work, hang out with my kitten, and enjoy the blue sky. Nice.

Top
#811226 - 03/14/13 05:37 AM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Jilly]
Debbie-SpiritualityEditor Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Elephant

Registered: 01/08/10
Posts: 4574
Glad you had a better day, Jilly.

Yesterday was a crazy day for me. Some insane circumstances hit the fan and I was thrown way off balance. I was very stressed, so I went to bed early with a knot in my stomach and stomach pains. Today I woke up with a cold. It is amazing how fast stress throws your body for a loop.

My stress level is medium today. I am trying to figure out what I need to do to survive, yet again.
_________________________
Debbie Grejdus
Spirituality Site Editor
Spirituality Forum Moderator

Top
#811373 - 03/15/13 05:52 AM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Angela J. Shirley]
Ruby June Offline
Newbie

Registered: 12/15/12
Posts: 41
Loc: Spokane
Sorry about the tough day, Debbie. I had a tough day with my psychiatrist. Without meaning to, he hurt my feelings. My heart feels a little tight today and I'm running the tape in my head. I know we will resolve it next week, but it will be a long week. I think I'll try to refocus and think about something else if I can. One thing I've learned from him, Debbie, is that tomorrow is always a new day. Sending good thoughts your way for today.

Top
#811375 - 03/15/13 06:02 AM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Angela J. Shirley]
Ruby June Offline
Newbie

Registered: 12/15/12
Posts: 41
Loc: Spokane
I like this forum because it feels real. Not everyday is a good day and we need someplace to acknowledge that and help each other keep our heads above water. Thank you, ladies, for your honesty.

Top
#811384 - 03/15/13 08:54 AM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Ruby June]
Debbie-SpiritualityEditor Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Elephant

Registered: 01/08/10
Posts: 4574
Thank you, Ruby June, for your thoughtful words.

I hope all gets worked out for you soon.
_________________________
Debbie Grejdus
Spirituality Site Editor
Spirituality Forum Moderator

Top
#812459 - 03/21/13 08:19 AM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Ruby June]
Sarah Rockwell Offline
Newbie

Registered: 03/21/13
Posts: 7
Yes, every day is a new day with different thoughts, feelings, and ideas.

Top
#814562 - 04/02/13 05:49 PM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Angela J. Shirley]
Nancy Roussy Offline
Tiger

Registered: 01/17/13
Posts: 6636
Loc: Grand-Métis, Quebec, Canada
It was pretty high today but I had no panic attacks. First it started with almost no sleep. Then after getting up I knew right away it would not be a good day (a feeling i had mostly) and after making my bed and putting my juice in the freezer (i like it to be a slushie for my breakfast) I went to my computer (charity clicks mostly) and no internet, when the internet came back and I started to do the clicks (stressed out because i had less than 2 hours before i had to leave for errands and an appointment) my dad had one of his many freak out and like usual my mom just accepted it. My mom left (it had to do with a neighbor...my dad did not like that she is HELPING US) he went in the basement all happy whistling and singing (he does that ALL THE TIME and my mom too...its driving me INSANE...my dad does it like psychopaths do it and my mom does it to immitate him.........i learned to ignore them but this is just CANT) because again he was able to make a problem worst and stress my mom but after he came upstairs sighing because he realised that dinner time was near then he went to the attic for a while then came downstairs angry because he had to make his dinner himself (if it werent for the cooked and cut meat in the fridge and the bread he would of eaten candy). When my mom came back home she and the neighbor did what he didn't want to happen but he became all happy after hearing about it. The rest of the day sucked and was full of bad luck.
_________________________
"Don't worry, the spider is smaller than you." Yeah, so is a grenade!

Top
#819190 - 05/02/13 12:49 PM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Angela J. Shirley]
Lisa LowCarb / VideoGames Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Highest Posting Power Known to Humanity

Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 21139
My stress levels were low today. I worked on publicizing the upcoming Mused deadline, which is on May 8th. I love Mused, it helps promote new photographers, poets, and writers. It makes me so happy to work on it. So my stress levels were fairly serene.

Except the ants in the kitchen, we have a minor infestation. I've done all my part of cleaning, but Bob has dirty pots out that he hasn't cleaned. So that does give me a little stress. Hopefully he will clean them tonight.
_________________________
Lisa Shea, Low Carb / Video Games Editor
Low Carb Forum

Top
#819581 - 05/05/13 06:48 PM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Angela J. Shirley]
Jilly Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Highest Posting Power Known to Humanity

Registered: 02/26/03
Posts: 14392
Loc: Verde Valley, AZ
Lower stress today, since I am still sick and on a mental time-out.

Top
#819601 - 05/06/13 12:20 AM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Angela J. Shirley]
Sadhana ~ Indian Food Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Chipmunk

Registered: 01/16/07
Posts: 1325
Loc: USA
Through the roof :-(
_________________________
SADHANA GINDE, Indian Food Editor

BellaOnline Training Manager, BellaOnline Forum Admin, BellaOnine FB Admin :-)

Indian Food Website

Dont forget to sign up for the Indian Food Newsletter!

Top
#819696 - 05/06/13 10:28 AM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Angela J. Shirley]
Nancy Roussy Offline
Tiger

Registered: 01/17/13
Posts: 6636
Loc: Grand-Métis, Quebec, Canada
It has been a rollercoaster these past few days. I am trying to put into paper my thoughts and ideas of the past months and I am also planning some things which involve some change. I did made some changes at the end of last month, they were small but still changes.

My mom did not speak to me for a few days because I dared told her the truth and my opinion and it was done in front of someone else. The day of my small changes she was still acting like that. She now has stopped but she can see that I am not totally the same and since she is not stupid she knows it's her fault, she will never apologize though.

My dad was calm for a few days but today he is driving me crazy. He has started whistling and singing like a psychopath.

I did see a cute puppy in a parking lot today and he/she came up to me, that calmed me down greatly.

My throat stress issues (thinking im chocking) are not gone yet, they were close to gone but it has come back since my stress has been up and down. I still have half of one of my mom's ativan (in 1..i have been prescribed 10 in 0.5...took the first half the day i went to the hospital to get some tests done after taking antibiotics for nothing for a badly and not needed filling) and I think I will take it before going to bed soon if this does not stop. I won't take it tonight since I have to get up at 6:00 tomorrow to help a neighbor (shes the only sane person here + she has a Golden Retriever and i may go walk with him) and besides I only want to take it if I see a panic attack coming or something like that.
_________________________
"Don't worry, the spider is smaller than you." Yeah, so is a grenade!

Top
#819733 - 05/06/13 03:00 PM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Angela J. Shirley]
Ruby June Offline
Newbie

Registered: 12/15/12
Posts: 41
Loc: Spokane
Hi everyone. This has been the most meaningful mental health forum on Bella Online for me. People talk about real issues they are having, and getting advice from a collective of others with mental health issues. Life is not just happy and sunny little thoughts. People in the trenches need a place where they can say what is bothering them. It helps to share what we are really going through. I just got back from a family reunion of over 100 people. Talk about stress! Yikes. There was a lot of fun things that happen and it was nice to visit with the cousins I played with in childhood and how they grew up. There was a lot of mother-daughter issues between lots of mothers and daughters. I couldn't really couldn't deal with a lot of the logistics and drama that the week was infused with and was very glad for my Xanax. I didn't go into the fetal position once! Which is a great accomplishment for me and my psychiatrist. It means we are succeeding in accepting what is and letting go of what we don't need. Hooray! Thanks for listening.

Top
#819847 - 05/07/13 09:51 AM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Angela J. Shirley]
Nancy Roussy Offline
Tiger

Registered: 01/17/13
Posts: 6636
Loc: Grand-Métis, Quebec, Canada
Thankfully my mom did not tell my nice neigbor that I would too go help this morning (my dad and an uncle cut a tree of hers...my mom helped her with a rose bush..i would of walked with Toby [the Golden Retriever] since hes afraid of big noises...turns out he did not mind this morning) because I went to bed after midnight and got up about twelve hours later! I was in bed for a little more than seven hours the night before and slept for less than one hour so I was tired.

My stress today is less severe. My energy is even up a little. My luck has not turned though (its been that way since moving here november 9 of 2009), I sincerely and without lying can say that I have had no normal day since being in that house. I was always sad and lonely but at least I had normal days! From the little things to the big things and everything in between nothing works. I'm lucky that Michael Schumacher came back for three years because without him driving in Formula One I would be way worst than I am now.
_________________________
"Don't worry, the spider is smaller than you." Yeah, so is a grenade!

Top
#819855 - 05/07/13 11:53 AM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Angela J. Shirley]
Lori-Dreams Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Chipmunk

Registered: 07/27/12
Posts: 1963
Ruby Jane, I commend you for that fantastic accomplishment! smile

Nancy, I hope you can move out soon to lessen your stress!
_________________________
Lori Phillips
Dreams editor

Bellaonline.com Dreams site
The Dream Collective
Dreams: What are you trying to tell yourself?
Twitter: @tweetdreams4u
and @flutterby03

Marriage editor
Bellaonline Marriage site
Twitter: @BellaMarriage

Top
#820018 - 05/08/13 09:29 AM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Angela J. Shirley]
Nancy Roussy Offline
Tiger

Registered: 01/17/13
Posts: 6636
Loc: Grand-Métis, Quebec, Canada
Thank you Lori! I hope so too! My parents today have made my stress go higher. My dad is killing my mom she accepts it, he wait until she serves him she does, it's a never ending cycle. Plus my dad who whistle and sing like a deranged psychopath and my mom does it too. I'm living in an asylum.

My mom is dying from who know what (i made a post in the stomach section) and she apparently have no problem with that and during that time my dad does not care at all, he goes around like she will live until he does so he can have his slave forever. I don't know if the plan is that I will become my dad's slave when my mom will be gone, if that's it then they're in for a big surprise!
_________________________
"Don't worry, the spider is smaller than you." Yeah, so is a grenade!

Top
#820026 - 05/08/13 10:09 AM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Angela J. Shirley]
Lisa LowCarb / VideoGames Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Highest Posting Power Known to Humanity

Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 21139
Nancy -

I'm so sorry to hear about the medical issues in the house.

A lot of how we perceive the world is based on our expectations of it. That is, very few things are inherently "good" or "bad" or "annoying" - it's all how we view them.

So for example you currently view the singing and whistling as a bad thing. So it annoys you. However, lots of people would be thrilled to have people who sang and whistled, rather than sulked in silence. So see if you can reframe how you view it. Their singing and whistling is nice. It's their way of adding music to the world, like a bird singing its song. It's part of their song. It's a good thing that they sing and whistle. I love it when Bob walks around the house singing, it's a sign that he has positive energy within him.

It might take a little time, but it sounds like it's worth it, if it's part of your environment!

And consider, too, that they're both under stress with what is going on and maybe that is part of their stress coping mechanism. So when you hear it, think that they might be handling their own stress that way, and it's better to do that than to bottle it up.
_________________________
Lisa Shea, Low Carb / Video Games Editor
Low Carb Forum

Top
#820034 - 05/08/13 10:41 AM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Angela J. Shirley]
Nancy Roussy Offline
Tiger

Registered: 01/17/13
Posts: 6636
Loc: Grand-Métis, Quebec, Canada
It is the way they do it that is driving me insane. My dad either does it when he is happy after hurting my mom or after making trouble or he does it sounding like a maniac. When my mom does it she is copying him, she too was annoyed by him doing it at first but now she does it too and sometimes she does it so much that she is more annoying than he is on that day. If they would do that normally I would not mind most of the times (i admit that it would get me annoyed sometimes of course but not all the time and not to the point of about to blow up from the stress). It is so much that when I hear someone do that I want to hit that person (i of course dont do anything verbally and physically) and even some noises makes me think of that.
_________________________
"Don't worry, the spider is smaller than you." Yeah, so is a grenade!

Top
#820083 - 05/08/13 03:09 PM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Angela J. Shirley]
Jilly Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Highest Posting Power Known to Humanity

Registered: 02/26/03
Posts: 14392
Loc: Verde Valley, AZ
Nancy, i am sorry about all the stress in your household. that must be difficult to deal with on a daily basis. Hugs to you.

Today was a low stress day - i am still sick but much, much better, but I accomplished some important things today. A good day.

Top
#820127 - 05/08/13 06:13 PM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Angela J. Shirley]
Nancy Roussy Offline
Tiger

Registered: 01/17/13
Posts: 6636
Loc: Grand-Métis, Quebec, Canada
Hi Jilly! It is hard especially since I stay inside the house all the time now, when I'll get out at least I will have that peace time and hopefully that will help lower my stress and clear my mind up so I can finally do something with myself. I am glad to hear that you are getting better and that you accomplished important things today, keep at it and hugs back at you.
_________________________
"Don't worry, the spider is smaller than you." Yeah, so is a grenade!

Top
#820264 - 05/09/13 11:19 AM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Angela J. Shirley]
Nancy Roussy Offline
Tiger

Registered: 01/17/13
Posts: 6636
Loc: Grand-Métis, Quebec, Canada
The stress is less today. My parents are less annoying today and the walk I took plus the water I have been drinking and me continuing writing down my thoughts and ideas are helping.
_________________________
"Don't worry, the spider is smaller than you." Yeah, so is a grenade!

Top
#820352 - 05/10/13 10:23 AM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Angela J. Shirley]
Nancy Roussy Offline
Tiger

Registered: 01/17/13
Posts: 6636
Loc: Grand-Métis, Quebec, Canada
It's a little higher today but I'm far of the point of being close of freaking out or having a panic attack. I made a decision about something that I have to do, I picked the date and it is next month so that is exciting and scary at the same time.
_________________________
"Don't worry, the spider is smaller than you." Yeah, so is a grenade!

Top
#820420 - 05/11/13 11:19 AM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Angela J. Shirley]
Nancy Roussy Offline
Tiger

Registered: 01/17/13
Posts: 6636
Loc: Grand-Métis, Quebec, Canada
Today it is less than yesterday.
_________________________
"Don't worry, the spider is smaller than you." Yeah, so is a grenade!

Top
#820514 - 05/12/13 08:38 AM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Angela J. Shirley]
Nancy Roussy Offline
Tiger

Registered: 01/17/13
Posts: 6636
Loc: Grand-Métis, Quebec, Canada
Almost no stress today. It's funny how the bad weather calmed me, the more it rains the less I'm stressed. I always loved clouds and rain better than sunshine.
_________________________
"Don't worry, the spider is smaller than you." Yeah, so is a grenade!

Top
#820551 - 05/12/13 01:36 PM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Angela J. Shirley]
Ruby June Offline
Newbie

Registered: 12/15/12
Posts: 41
Loc: Spokane
My stress levels are pretty much off the charts today. Panic attacks. Wondering how to run away from my life and start over. My life used to be fairly good. One year and three months ago. Well, kind of. Actually, it's been on the skids for about five years. Don't worry. Got a psychiatrist. Got some Xanax. But I don't want to Xanax my life away anymore. I keep telling my husband, I can't live this way, I need to jump off the bus. I'm tired. I'm tired of being tired. How does life get so convoluted? We start out full of hope and....well, sorry I'm a downer today. Thanks for listening. Ruby

Top
#820553 - 05/12/13 01:53 PM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Angela J. Shirley]
Lisa LowCarb / VideoGames Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Highest Posting Power Known to Humanity

Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 21139
Nancy - it is great that you are relaxing, and finding peace in your world!

Remember, your parents can't annoy you. Only you can react or not react to their actions. So the more you can train yourself not to react, the better! They probably won't change. You can change you.
_________________________
Lisa Shea, Low Carb / Video Games Editor
Low Carb Forum

Top
#820555 - 05/12/13 01:56 PM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Angela J. Shirley]
Lisa LowCarb / VideoGames Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Highest Posting Power Known to Humanity

Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 21139
Ruby Jane -

I'm so sorry to hear that you are having panic attacks. It is great that you have someone to talk with, and that they have a course of medication for you. I understand how you don't want to have to do it long term, but think of it as a helper for the short term.

I definitely am not a doctor so please always go to your psychiatrist first for the main advice, but in my experience it really helps to have a "safe place" to retreat to in times of stress. Even if it's just one room, or a corner of a room. Maybe you put on headphones and listen to a specific playlist that soothes you. You close your eyes and put on lavender fragrance, again something that soothes you.

Do you have an "escape plan" like that, to let your body have time to relax?
_________________________
Lisa Shea, Low Carb / Video Games Editor
Low Carb Forum

Top
#820558 - 05/12/13 02:18 PM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Angela J. Shirley]
Ruby June Offline
Newbie

Registered: 12/15/12
Posts: 41
Loc: Spokane
Lisa, Yes, I just got up from that safe place because I have so much to do before work tomorrow. Thank you for the advice though because it reminds me that I do have a strategy plan for these types of depressive episodes. It's actually in a file on the very computer I'm tapping at right now. Maybe tomorrow, when I wake up, I'll be able to deal with everything again. So, I will put on my ipod, go to the store with my dark glasses on-as I can't seem to stop crying-and finish the last couple of hours of the day getting ready for tomorrow.

Top
#820560 - 05/12/13 02:26 PM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Angela J. Shirley]
Lisa LowCarb / VideoGames Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Highest Posting Power Known to Humanity

Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 21139
Dear Ruby Jane -

You hang in there. Sometimes it's a hormones thing that makes everything worse, and a good night's sleep can help you feel better in the morning. Hopefully that will be the case.
_________________________
Lisa Shea, Low Carb / Video Games Editor
Low Carb Forum

Top
#820566 - 05/12/13 03:47 PM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Angela J. Shirley]
Nancy Roussy Offline
Tiger

Registered: 01/17/13
Posts: 6636
Loc: Grand-Métis, Quebec, Canada
Ruby,

I am very sorry to read what you are going through. I am not very good with words with helping someone but I know perfectly what you are going through and how you are feeling. I hope your husband is understanding of you and your feelings. I also hope for you that one day you will be able to stop taking medication.

Wishing you a great night of sleep and sweet dreams,

Nancy
_________________________
"Don't worry, the spider is smaller than you." Yeah, so is a grenade!

Top
#820567 - 05/12/13 03:51 PM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Angela J. Shirley]
Nancy Roussy Offline
Tiger

Registered: 01/17/13
Posts: 6636
Loc: Grand-Métis, Quebec, Canada
Thank you Lisa! I know you are right and I do try but it is not easy while living in the same house. Tomorrow I will be alone a few hours with my dad (about 3 hours to Matane and back here...going to try an eye doctor there HOPEFULLY he can make me a pair of glasses for my hypermetropia and that pair of glasses will work on me), I hope it will go smoothly (my mom is going to Rimouski see 2 specialists the next day so she wont come with us).
_________________________
"Don't worry, the spider is smaller than you." Yeah, so is a grenade!

Top
#820705 - 05/13/13 10:50 AM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Angela J. Shirley]
Nancy Roussy Offline
Tiger

Registered: 01/17/13
Posts: 6636
Loc: Grand-Métis, Quebec, Canada
It was a little higher for me today but nothing serious. First the eye examination was stressful for me and also before we left my grandmom called saying that she was caling an ambulance so my mom instead of staying home to relax before her big day tomorrow she went to my grandmom's house and went to the hospital with her. We stopped at the hospital when we came back and they will keep her a couple of days, she had water in one of her knees. The sad thing is that Wednesday her cat will be euthanised and she won't be able to say her goodbye to her!
_________________________
"Don't worry, the spider is smaller than you." Yeah, so is a grenade!

Top
#820754 - 05/13/13 02:25 PM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Angela J. Shirley]
Ruby June Offline
Newbie

Registered: 12/15/12
Posts: 41
Loc: Spokane
Today was a lot better, thanks to your advice Lisa about looking at my Distress Tolerance strategy plan. Only a two Xanax day, pretty good. I put on my smiley face-my game face-my mask of pretense. I made it through today and I'll get up tomorrow and Wednesday and do it all again. Then Thursday, Friday, Saturday and maybe Sunday I'll go to my second job. I have to do this because people have not been paying their bills that they owe our business, so things are really tight. I'm trying to collect their debt, sometimes successful, sometimes not. Sometimes I just have to send them to collection or sue them. If they don't pay then people have to call me about our bills we owe them and I pray that we don't get sued or sent to collection. It's 7:30 pm here in Spokane and I just have to go to bed, I'm over tired. Nancy and Lisa, thank you for your care yesterday. It really helped. Nancy, I'm sorry about your grandma's cat.

Top
#820895 - 05/14/13 09:36 AM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Angela J. Shirley]
Nancy Roussy Offline
Tiger

Registered: 01/17/13
Posts: 6636
Loc: Grand-Métis, Quebec, Canada
I am strangely calm today. And that is weird since I have made a decision (not long after getting up) and usually that stresses me out.

Ruby, I am glad that yesterday you were better, I hope today is better than yesterday!

My grandmom came out of the hospital this morning (i was in bed but that was such a commotion that i woke up..my dad answered the phone which is more than rare then he freaked out and freaked out more when my mom said that she had to get ready so she could not go). At least now she will be able to say her goodbye to her cat.
_________________________
"Don't worry, the spider is smaller than you." Yeah, so is a grenade!

Top
#821079 - 05/15/13 10:26 AM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Angela J. Shirley]
Lisa LowCarb / VideoGames Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Highest Posting Power Known to Humanity

Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 21139
Ruby Jane -

Absolutely many studies show that when your lips make a smiling motion, it triggers all sorts of feel-good hormones. So in a very scientific way "making a smile" absolutely changes your body chemistry. It is free, easy medicine that works.

Take a look at the stress reduction video I just tried, it is very much worth watching.
_________________________
Lisa Shea, Low Carb / Video Games Editor
Low Carb Forum

Top
#821082 - 05/15/13 10:29 AM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Angela J. Shirley]
Lisa LowCarb / VideoGames Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Highest Posting Power Known to Humanity

Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 21139
Nancy -

That is wonderful that you are feeling calm! Maybe that's a good sign that you are building a reservoir of serenity within you, to deal with life's many hurdles!

Family members can definitely be challenging. The more we can find ways to buffer ourselves against their moods, the better.
_________________________
Lisa Shea, Low Carb / Video Games Editor
Low Carb Forum

Top
#821104 - 05/15/13 12:42 PM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Angela J. Shirley]
Nancy Roussy Offline
Tiger

Registered: 01/17/13
Posts: 6636
Loc: Grand-Métis, Quebec, Canada
Thank you Lisa!

Today my stress is higher. I had to go to Amqui with my parents and my grandmom's cat (she could not come...she cant put her left foot at all on the ground so she cant walk) and poor Minette knew what was going to happen to her and to make it worst I could not take her out of the cage to give her a few loving moments before dying because my mom is allergic and worst of all my dad kept laughing and telling jokes about it (most were directed to Minette) and the rare times my mom was talking to her she was telling her to sleep or to be calm then when we were about to arrive my mom suddendly realised what was going to happen and stopped my dad from making another joke and she was crying when we picked her up (she wanted to do it alone).

It's a miracle that I am not completely crazy having lived more than thirtysix years with these people.
_________________________
"Don't worry, the spider is smaller than you." Yeah, so is a grenade!

Top
#821116 - 05/15/13 01:31 PM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Angela J. Shirley]
Lisa LowCarb / VideoGames Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Highest Posting Power Known to Humanity

Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 21139
Nancy -

It is always so traumatic to lose a family pet, and it's even harder when someone in the group is being less than supportive. I'm not a psychologist so I can't make any real guesses about your father - but it seems from the things you're saying that he likes attention. He seeks attention and he then gets it. Maybe he thinks this is the only way he gets attention, and he gets rewarded by attention when he does it, so he keeps doing it. Sort of like a 2 year old. He does what works. He gets annoyed when something else (like the cat) is getting his attention so he intrudes on it.

People do things that bring them rewards. They don't do things that are useless. So he must be getting some reward out of this.

So if it was me temporarily "stuck" with him, here's what I would try to do.

I would try to find a way each day to give him positive attention. I don't know him to guess at how this could be done, but with my own father I could play a game with him, or sit down to talk with him, or ask him a question in an area he likes to talk about. I could brainstorm ideas with you if you wanted. So that way he IS getting some attention.

Then, when he acted out, I would give him NO attention. Not negative attention, because that is still attention. So no frowning or sighing or eye rolling. I would simply pretend he didn't exist. That is one of the most annoying things possible for most humans. That TED talk I just posted in the stress relief area talks about that. So simply act as if he has turned transparent. Be happy in your own little world.

If you suck all energy out of his bad behaviors - and at the same time provide tangible rewards for good behavior - it might start to make a tiny difference.
_________________________
Lisa Shea, Low Carb / Video Games Editor
Low Carb Forum

Top
#821124 - 05/15/13 02:17 PM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Angela J. Shirley]
Nancy Roussy Offline
Tiger

Registered: 01/17/13
Posts: 6636
Loc: Grand-Métis, Quebec, Canada
That is interesting what you wrote Lisa. I never once thought that he is doing all that for attention, it may be true. I have tried (stopped last Autumn when he decided he was mad at his brother who happened to be the brother he cuts wood with and gets enough wood for us to not be cold during winters and his big plan was to not go get the wood and somehow we would not of died from the cold eventhough we dont have the money to heat the house with electricity...the next day he decided that his brother said that he was sorry so he got the wood) many times trying to spend time with him doing something he likes and talking about something he likes but every of these times have ended right away with him ignoring it. The last time I tried he had asked me a question and I made a search on the internet and when I told him he mumbled something and went upstairs. It's no use with him so I just ignore him (except when he is at his worst whistling and singing wise) now and just ask him to drive me where I need to (this is why i need to start driving again). And by the way ignoring him does not work, he has never stopped acting badly when someone has ignored him.

My mom has become just like him now so I have to do the same, it's a shame because I at least could have nice talks with her and have fun (watching movies, shows, playing games) but she's the one who made that choice this year. Anyway it's better this way because the little fun I had with her and the nice talks were not erasing all the things she has done to me.
_________________________
"Don't worry, the spider is smaller than you." Yeah, so is a grenade!

Top
#821138 - 05/15/13 03:01 PM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Angela J. Shirley]
Lisa LowCarb / VideoGames Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Highest Posting Power Known to Humanity

Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 21139
Nancy -

It is important not to give up on someone. Yes, it might be hard for him to change his ways. That is natural and normal! It is only by being patient and consistent that we help those who are stuck to try a new path.

Think of the battered women who stay with their abusive partners for years and years. Just trying to help them once, or twice, won't work. You have to hang in there and show them you really mean it.

It's never "no use". It is always a great use to make the effort. Your parents won't be around forever, and you won't regret the efforts you make. You'll only regret giving up.

In the same way, ignoring someone for a little while won't work because they are far too trained in their patterns. They are sure it will work again. And especially if they have no other good things, at least the bad things are better than nothing. So if you give him no good feedback at all, then he has no incentive not to keep trying the only thing he knows work.

I absolutely would make it a daily task to try something positive. Don't give up even if it doesn't work for a week or a month. This is a lifetime of training you are overcoming. And it is absolutely your own best interest when it works. You are the one who will benefit, and he will too.

I don't think your mom made a choice. I think she's overwhelmed and is giving up. Give her a chance.
_________________________
Lisa Shea, Low Carb / Video Games Editor
Low Carb Forum

Top
#821150 - 05/15/13 05:36 PM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Angela J. Shirley]
Nancy Roussy Offline
Tiger

Registered: 01/17/13
Posts: 6636
Loc: Grand-Métis, Quebec, Canada
Lisa,

Thank you for everything, I really mean it. I also mean it when I say that if it weren't for the people that I have met on the internet I would have spent my life without anyone caring about me or at least trying to help. To read posts like yours makes me smile and gives me strenght.

I think that as long as I live in the same house as my parents I have no other choice of giving them a chance. They sure were there as far as giving me a roof and other important material things, if it weren't for that I would of left a long time ago (or would of been thrown out) and never looked back. That is why I always have remorse whenever I either stand up to them or ignore them or look for an appartment that I could afford. It does not erase all the things they have done though and no matter what happens I know that if I ever have children I will cut them off completely, I will not give them a chance to do what they did to me to my own kids, no way. I am alone now so it is my choice, kids no not get that choice (i know i didnt).

They (even my dad...its rare but he can show it) show they have a heart sometimes which in my mind it makes it worst, if they would be completely without compassion it would not hurt so much.

As for my mom she decided to change her behavior with me just because I dared remained her that she had options to get medical help and I told her that it was impossible for me to ignore her dying (she told me that she never asked anything and that i just should ignore whats happening to her), who gets mad because of something like that? She completely ignored me for a few days after that! Since then she has these times when she is like before then she snaps back to when she was mad at me for these stupid reasons. Tuesday she finally met with a real doctor that told her that she will help her but before that she wants my mom to get two tests done (blood work [appointment made today for june 11] and something else [they will call her]) but she eats like ten bites a day and it has been like that for months and her next appointment could be in August, who can spend more than a year without eating and being in pain all the time and keep on going on with life like everything is normal (she does not stop working around the house...she gets mad when i do something that is not my rooms or the dishes) and not kill over? That's crazy but apparently I should just ignore it like my dad does and not care at all!
_________________________
"Don't worry, the spider is smaller than you." Yeah, so is a grenade!

Top
#821209 - 05/16/13 04:38 AM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Angela J. Shirley]
Ruby June Offline
Newbie

Registered: 12/15/12
Posts: 41
Loc: Spokane
Hi Nancy and Lisa, Sorry I haven't been back to you both the last couple of days. Like everyone else, I have such limited time, mental space and energy....right now I have so much to deal with....it's really hard. One of the biggest problem is that every time I try to reply quickly, I'm logged out of Bella Online even though I ask my computer to keep me logged in and then when I log in, it takes about three times for Bella Online to recognize my password, etc. which makes everything soooooo slow. Anyhoo....since I left you last had major breakdown, almost hospitalized, serious thinking about divorce...not because of fighting etc, because romantic love has ended with spouse and I'm having a hard time keeping mentally well because of some of his thought processes about money. Sometimes I feel like I need to leave to and start over just by myself.....job is painful, but trying to fix that......lots of decisions to be made. And lots of work to do. House, grandkids, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Thanks for your support last time I was on this forum, believe it or not, it did delay breakdown. I've been working with shrink heavily, taking extra Abilify, have an apt today again. I think I might take a week off from work so I will not feel so pressurized. Take care, will try to check in more often. I need you and I hope I can help you at some point in time. Ruby

Top
#821347 - 05/16/13 10:15 AM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Angela J. Shirley]
Nancy Roussy Offline
Tiger

Registered: 01/17/13
Posts: 6636
Loc: Grand-Métis, Quebec, Canada
Wow Ruby I am very sorry to hear all that! I really hope it gets better for you and very soon! I too feel better when I come here and read all the nice replies to me. Take that vacation and take care of yourself! {HUGS}
_________________________
"Don't worry, the spider is smaller than you." Yeah, so is a grenade!

Top
#821348 - 05/16/13 10:17 AM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Angela J. Shirley]
Nancy Roussy Offline
Tiger

Registered: 01/17/13
Posts: 6636
Loc: Grand-Métis, Quebec, Canada
Today I am better than yesterday. I did something new today (get a money order) and new things always stresses me out even when they are very small but thankfully it went well at the post office so that helped me. If I would of gotten to be earlier I would of gotten up earlier and I would of taken a walk after that little errand, today had a perfect weather for a nice long walk.
_________________________
"Don't worry, the spider is smaller than you." Yeah, so is a grenade!

Top
#821543 - 05/17/13 08:44 AM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Angela J. Shirley]
Nancy Roussy Offline
Tiger

Registered: 01/17/13
Posts: 6636
Loc: Grand-Métis, Quebec, Canada
One of my aunt called less than one hour ago and she told my mom that my grandmom barely was able to get to the phone so my parents went there to try and get her to go back to the hospital and she refused. My grandmom is just like my mom and dad, all of them always refused to get medical help and when they do they have waited too long. I have many faults but I don't have that one.
_________________________
"Don't worry, the spider is smaller than you." Yeah, so is a grenade!

Top
#821624 - 05/17/13 02:44 PM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Nancy Roussy]
Lisa LowCarb / VideoGames Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Highest Posting Power Known to Humanity

Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 21139
Nancy -

Parents are definitely human beings who make all sorts of mistakes. We can't change the past, we have no time machines. So all we can do is try to work on the present. That is all we ever have control over.

I hesitate to call anything "crazy". We all have different views on the world and that is fine. It is natural and normal that others have views different from our own.

Let's say your mom was brought up to feel a woman should be quiet and a hard worker. Her job was to keep the home as "homey" as possible, and to hide her own worries and issues. Lots of women are trained from birth to be that way. So she is doing what she was trained to do. She feels it is her job - her reason for being there - to keep the house clean. If someone else tries to take that away from her, then she's not worth anything any more.

It would be like if I loved painting pictures. I adored doing this, it made me feel meaningful. Then someone came along and said "It's OK, I will paint your pictures for you." I would be upset by this. This is what *I* am supposed to do, it is what brings meaning to my world.

It's very hard to undo training that has been done to you since birth. It seems so natural and normal that other ways of life seem quite bizarre.

So it is fantastic that you helped her to take a small step out of her comfort zone and start talking to a doctor. Maybe that will help to show her that she *can* be responsible for the home, and also still take care of herself too. That's a hard lesson for many women to learn, and many never learn it.
_________________________
Lisa Shea, Low Carb / Video Games Editor
Low Carb Forum

Top
#821627 - 05/17/13 02:57 PM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Ruby June]
Lisa LowCarb / VideoGames Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Highest Posting Power Known to Humanity

Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 21139
Dear Ruby June -

That is very odd about the system losing track of you. It sounds like there might be a cookies issue with your browser. Browsers' cookies files can easily get corrupted. I recommend going to your browser's settings area and clearing all cookies. Doing that once a month or so can really help with browser performance.

I'm so sorry to hear about your stress levels.

Many studies show that money is the top issue between couples, so know that you're par for the course there. I know money is an issue in my relationship and it was in my marriage (I'm divorced). So that is typical, and the challenge is how to cope with it. We're happy to help! If you post the kinds of issues you have, either here or in one of the money forums, we'll help you brainstorm.
_________________________
Lisa Shea, Low Carb / Video Games Editor
Low Carb Forum

Top
#821630 - 05/17/13 03:00 PM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Nancy Roussy]
Lisa LowCarb / VideoGames Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Highest Posting Power Known to Humanity

Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 21139
Dear Nancy -

Ah, see, so your mother was trained to be like this from birth. This is the only way she knows how to be and it was drilled into her head. So now she has to try to unlearn that which is really, really hard.

What is a shame about that way of looking at life is that it often ends up costing more time, money, and stress. It doesn't "save" anything. If you treat something early, or prevent it, then there are very little costs. If you let something fester and grow, then the costs and time and stress can be astronomical.

I.e. even if we assume your grandmother doesn't want to be a "bother" - it ends up causing far more trauma for everyone if she keeps having small issues, vs if she simply gets it taken care of and is better. So it doesn't achieve her actual goal.

Is there an option to get home-care for her, so she can stay home (which is probably very important to her, her role as home-take-care-of-person) and also be taken care of herself?
_________________________
Lisa Shea, Low Carb / Video Games Editor
Low Carb Forum

Top
#821631 - 05/17/13 03:01 PM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Angela J. Shirley]
Lisa LowCarb / VideoGames Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Highest Posting Power Known to Humanity

Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 21139
My stress levels are fairly low. I have an enormous list of to-do items that are stacked up, but I am taking them one step at a time. My two online classes end this Sunday so there's a lot of work to be done for those finals.
_________________________
Lisa Shea, Low Carb / Video Games Editor
Low Carb Forum

Top
#821632 - 05/17/13 03:05 PM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Angela J. Shirley]
Lori - Marriage Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Koala

Registered: 11/26/09
Posts: 2691
Loc: Orange, CA USA
I rarely have stressful days anymore but today was very upsetting. Not stressful, per se, but I was very upset. frown
_________________________
Lori Phillips
Marriage editor

BellaOnline.com Marriage
Twitter: @BellaMarriage

Dreams editor
Bellaonline.com Dreams site
The Dream Collective
Dreams: What are you trying to tell yourself?
Twitter: @tweetdreams4u
and @flutterby03

Top
#821637 - 05/17/13 03:44 PM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Angela J. Shirley]
Lisa LowCarb / VideoGames Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Highest Posting Power Known to Humanity

Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 21139
I'm so sorry to hear that Lori! I hope you have some nurturing time in your schedule.
_________________________
Lisa Shea, Low Carb / Video Games Editor
Low Carb Forum

Top
#821646 - 05/17/13 04:42 PM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Angela J. Shirley]
Nancy Roussy Offline
Tiger

Registered: 01/17/13
Posts: 6636
Loc: Grand-Métis, Quebec, Canada
Lori, I am very sorry to hear that! I hope you have a great night of sleep and have a better day tomorrow!
_________________________
"Don't worry, the spider is smaller than you." Yeah, so is a grenade!

Top
#821649 - 05/17/13 04:54 PM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Angela J. Shirley]
Nancy Roussy Offline
Tiger

Registered: 01/17/13
Posts: 6636
Loc: Grand-Métis, Quebec, Canada
Lisa, my mom was indeed told that when she was young and she was the one who had to get out of school early and do everything for everyone but she did grew up knowing that this was not right. She often says that this is not right. And she often complains about people doing the same exact things she does. One of my aunt has been complaining to her for decades about her alcoholic husband and everytime my mom has told her that she can get out anytime and that the only reason she stays is because she gets something positive out of it, the same with my grandmom she always have told her that there are medical help out there that she can get immediately when she is sick or hurt. So she knows all of that and she tells other people all of that and yet she does the exact same things that she complains about others do (and dont do).

My grandmom does have many other options but she wants to stay in that house with no help, it took my parents more than a year until she finally accepted to go with them once a week into the next town to get her grocery (she has always asked for a delivery from the little store here that sells their things way too high $), she does not accept change and help easily, just like my parents, it's like this takes something important away from them. Monday my grandmom was admitted in the hospital but decided she wanted to leave the next day, if she would of stayed two or three more days she would be walking on that leg again.

I always think (i know someone in the US very sick and she does not have the $ to get any help) of the people who do not have access to any help and that makes me so mad when I think that my mom and grandmom could have help and they just refuse it. I think my mom now wants some help and she did find a real doctor in Rimouski Tuesday but it might be too late, she has not been eating a lot for more than a year and she is always in pain so waiting an extra month or more could be too long. Just like my grandmom, she could of sell her house and go live in a nice place, she loves to takk with other people so she would of been happy in addition of not being in pain all the time.

People make the strangest decisions sometimes, I know because I'm one of them (thankfully i never did that with my health at least).
_________________________
"Don't worry, the spider is smaller than you." Yeah, so is a grenade!

Top
#821659 - 05/17/13 05:42 PM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Lisa LowCarb / VideoGames]
Ruby June Offline
Newbie

Registered: 12/15/12
Posts: 41
Loc: Spokane
Dear Lisa, I have some good news. My psychiatrist has changed my meds and I'm feeling much better. I know the new meds haven't had time to kick in yet, but just knowing that something was off-kilter and I wasn't going insane is a relief. The old meds were wearing off and I was having that delayed feeling whenever I moved my head, but didn't put it all together, but my shrink did. I think I'll be better able to handle the difficult events and decisions I am facing. I've been calling all the clients that owe us money and starting to get some rolling in. Also, I have a good chance at a new job with the same company that I work at, which is a hospice. It will be full time, doubling my salary. I'll know next week. If I get it, at least I'll be able to support myself if I do choose to leave my husband. I'm not going to do anything like that for at least a month to give the new meds a chance to work and see how I'm feeling then. So, Thank you for your help. I'll keep up with this post. Hope you are doing OK.


Edited by Ruby June (05/17/13 05:43 PM)

Top
#821715 - 05/18/13 10:28 AM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Lori - Marriage]
Debbie-SpiritualityEditor Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Elephant

Registered: 01/08/10
Posts: 4574
I hope you are feeling better today, Lori.
_________________________
Debbie Grejdus
Spirituality Site Editor
Spirituality Forum Moderator

Top
#821719 - 05/18/13 10:33 AM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Angela J. Shirley]
Nancy Roussy Offline
Tiger

Registered: 01/17/13
Posts: 6636
Loc: Grand-Métis, Quebec, Canada
I'm glad to hear that things are better Ruby! I hope it will keep on being better for you!

Today it's okay stress wise for me. I'm mostly tired (dont know why since i slept good). Today my mom is more annoying than my dad. She can't seem to stop singing and when I was eating breakfast she was going off on my grandmom who refuses to get medical help, it took all I had to not say that she too is like that!
_________________________
"Don't worry, the spider is smaller than you." Yeah, so is a grenade!

Top
#821720 - 05/18/13 10:34 AM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Debbie-SpiritualityEditor]
Debbie-SpiritualityEditor Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Elephant

Registered: 01/08/10
Posts: 4574
My stress level is a little on the high side in the past few days. I am out of work again and trying to find a job asap is frustrating and stressful. The bills are piling up and nobody understands that there just is no money..... I am also trying to empty out my storage unit that is an hour away so I don't have to pay for another month's rental fee. I have to do this all by myself. And my stomach has been acting up because I am anxious. So yeah....a little stress lately.....
_________________________
Debbie Grejdus
Spirituality Site Editor
Spirituality Forum Moderator

Top
#822367 - 05/19/13 01:31 PM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Angela J. Shirley]
Nancy Roussy Offline
Tiger

Registered: 01/17/13
Posts: 6636
Loc: Grand-Métis, Quebec, Canada
I am sorry to hear that Debbie, I hope today was better!
_________________________
"Don't worry, the spider is smaller than you." Yeah, so is a grenade!

Top
#822368 - 05/19/13 01:35 PM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Angela J. Shirley]
Nancy Roussy Offline
Tiger

Registered: 01/17/13
Posts: 6636
Loc: Grand-Métis, Quebec, Canada
Today I was okay until my parents came back inside. My dad of course came inside hours before my mom did (its a miracle he even helped her) and came downstairs to check if she came back in before 18:00. When she finished washing up a little and changed her clothes he started laughing at her then started to whistle and sing after she went to the basement to relax a little. I actually woke up when they came in for dinner and then he did not laughed at her by laughing but by asking her why she was not eating and giving her ideas of what to eat (he does that as often as laughing at her). These two people truely deserve each others, it's just a shame that they decided years ago to also have kids (most people who have kids should not just like them).
_________________________
"Don't worry, the spider is smaller than you." Yeah, so is a grenade!

Top
#822402 - 05/19/13 07:33 PM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Angela J. Shirley]
Lisa LowCarb / VideoGames Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Highest Posting Power Known to Humanity

Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 21139
Debbie -

Have you thought about putting out short specific-topic ebooks? I find mine do best when they are short, quick, and on something that a person has a need to learn about "right now". So "how to flirt for guys" and "how to flirt for girls" and "quick microwave low carb recipes" and so on. It needs to be on a targeted, specific topic to work well.
_________________________
Lisa Shea, Low Carb / Video Games Editor
Low Carb Forum

Top
#822403 - 05/19/13 07:36 PM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Angela J. Shirley]
Lisa LowCarb / VideoGames Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Highest Posting Power Known to Humanity

Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 21139
Nancy -

Maybe we can look at his asking her to eat as his way of being concerned about her and wanting her to eat something. Which you would want too. So that is a good sign.

Hopefully the doctors can figure out soon why her appetite is low, and help it. I know from experience that when I'm not hungry, it's hard to "force" myself to eat. If she's just not hungry, she may be in that situation.

In the meantime, there must be a way to separate your own emotional health from what they do. Your happiness needs to be separate from what they do or don't do. Maybe consider them a scientific experiment of aliens that you can watch without being bothered by it?
_________________________
Lisa Shea, Low Carb / Video Games Editor
Low Carb Forum

Top
#822404 - 05/19/13 07:38 PM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Angela J. Shirley]
Lisa LowCarb / VideoGames Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Highest Posting Power Known to Humanity

Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 21139
Today there was stress before we headed off to the wedding of a friend. I'm not sure exactly what made my boyfriend stressed about it. I then reacted to his stress in a less than calm manner smile. I continue to need practice in learning to not get drawn in when he is stressed. I need to maintain my own calm.

Once it was done, the rest of the day went very smoothly and calmly.
_________________________
Lisa Shea, Low Carb / Video Games Editor
Low Carb Forum

Top
#822405 - 05/19/13 07:40 PM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Ruby June]
Lisa LowCarb / VideoGames Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Highest Posting Power Known to Humanity

Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 21139
Dear Ruby Jane -

It is wonderful that you are getting the support you need to have the right medicine. That can really be so key in having good health.

That is great news about the new job, too. We all deserve to feel like we have choices in life, that we are not "trapped". We should stay somewhere because we want to, not because there is no other choice.

I would definitely consider therapy with your husband, to talk it through. It's natural for finances to cause issues in any relationship. It's natural for feelings to wax and wane and wax again over time. So maybe talking it through with a third person can be helpful there. Often giving up on something part way through means you miss out on the best that is yet to come.
_________________________
Lisa Shea, Low Carb / Video Games Editor
Low Carb Forum

Top
#822407 - 05/19/13 07:48 PM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Nancy Roussy]
Lisa LowCarb / VideoGames Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Highest Posting Power Known to Humanity

Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 21139
Dear Nancy -

I hadn't responded to your previous message, I see!

It is very common in life that we know intellectually what to do but emotionally we have roadblocks. Think of all the people who know they should exercise, but who do not do it. They have a wealth of reasons and rationalizations why they don't, even though logically they know it's critical for body health. So I think every one of us rationalizes in certain areas of our life. It's normal and natural.

The issue of an older person needing help is quite thoroughly studied, and what your grandmother is doing is quite normal. We start out as helpless infants. We grow and learn and at each stage we build independence. Finally we are on our own and in charge of our own lives and "an adult". It is *enormously* hard, after decades of this, to then "regress". To in essence turn into an infant again. People fight this tooth and nail. They don't want to lose their independence.

For your grandmother, any concession is an admission that she is no longer a fully functional adult. It's like saying "I'm a child and I need help." Few people want to do that. So she's going to resist. The key is to find a way to help her see that she IS a wonderful, intelligent, fully functional adult - and at the same time she just needs help in one particular area. Just like I need Bob's help opening a peanut butter jar. It doesn't mean I'm not a full adult, it just means we all have different strengths.

So maybe gently going from that angle might help.

Moving from the home one loves is enormously difficult. The home represents independence and control and an investment of love and attention. It would be like abandoning a favorite pet. So there needs to be a careful transition planned out. Maybe there is an event or two she can do at a local senior center, to start having her see the others as a desirable group to be a part of? Again she has to look FORWARD to moving - she can't see this as an enormous penalty she has to suffer.
_________________________
Lisa Shea, Low Carb / Video Games Editor
Low Carb Forum

Top
#822412 - 05/19/13 08:54 PM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Angela J. Shirley]
Nancy Roussy Offline
Tiger

Registered: 01/17/13
Posts: 6636
Loc: Grand-Métis, Quebec, Canada
Hi Lisa, I'm glad the wedding you went to with your boyfriend went well.

My dad asked that to be mean. He knows that my mom cannot eat because when she does and even when she does not eat it hurts. Rarely does a day goes by without him being cruel like that. Even when she could eat she still could not eat anything because of digestion problem and some allergies and during that time he would just asked her if she would want some then just laugh when she'd say no you know that I can't eat that. A few months ago they did told her what she has but first they are such worthless doctors and they took so much time to end up with that diagnostic that they cannot be trusted and lastly they just told her that then said there's nothing that can be done. The new doctor wants to help and appears to be a real doctor but the tests she wants done to my mom before she is sure of what to do are not soon enough and then there's the big question of when my mom will see her again, if she's still standing that day and if by some miracle there's a game plan then when will that start. To think that more than a year ago it could of all been taken care of but no my mom waited more than half a year to ask for medical help then she let these morons use her for a year then just accepted that nothing could be done. Now she looks like she's fed up but again she accepts to wait maybe until the end of Summer. Just like she accepts my dad laughing at her and like she accepts being his slave. Yesterday she took pity on him that he did not have store bought cake or candy or chips or anything else to snack on and eventhough he did not complain about it for even one second she made him cake which by the way he hates and only ate like three since then (it was 1 of these powder that you mix with like 2 other things but still SHE CANT EAT AND HE DOES NOT SUPPORT HER SO SHE DID NOT HAVE TO DO THAT AT ALL ESPECIALLY SINCE HE ASKED NOTHING).

As for my grandmom I know how it must be hard for people when they get old and realise they cannot do most of whate they were able to do but she has always been like that and the reason why she is like that now is because of her actions. She used to go out often and help people and give her time but when she had to place grandad she decided to stop going out because people would talk. The same with all her injuries and illnesses she waited too long and now she just moves a little and screams from the pain. But the main reason why she does not want to leave is because her favorite child still lives with her. He was about five when she left to deliver another baby and during that time he had a huge accident where he was hit by a car, she has had remorse about that since then and also since then she has always put him first. He is heartless too so he has always taken advantage of this. When he is in trouble he knows that mommy is there. Plus he knows that the end is near for her which also means that his perfect life will soon be over so he more than doubled his actions towards her to get more and more.

One of my aunt (dads side) is like my parents and grandmom, she has a screwed up back because of her actions. In her case she went to seek too many help, she went to different kinds of doctors at the same time and never tried just one thing at a time and wait if it could work. She would like to sue someone for this but she can't because she can't know which doctor did that.

And I'm not going to start with an aunt and one of her son, these two are something else.

So I don't think there's a normal person in my family!
_________________________
"Don't worry, the spider is smaller than you." Yeah, so is a grenade!

Top
#822531 - 05/20/13 12:42 PM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Angela J. Shirley]
Nancy Roussy Offline
Tiger

Registered: 01/17/13
Posts: 6636
Loc: Grand-Métis, Quebec, Canada
I had a stressful experience just before breakfast. I have a phobia of spiders and one was on the fridge when I went to the kitchen so I screamed for my parents and of course my dad had to act like he was mentally challenged so after saying for about a minute where the spider was he decided to see it and he was so slow that it disappeared, after about two or three minutes he realised that it was on the kleenex then he lost it again and started to laughed so I screamed at him and my mom found it again and after a few more tries the spider was finally killed. He went to hide in the basement because unlike my mom he cannot make fun of me and scream at me. He came back up when I went upstairs after eating. That's just like him, have fun at the expanse of others but when the people he laughs at dare not let him he either explode with rage or goes into hiding when he knows he cannot do that, and my mom who lets him.
_________________________
"Don't worry, the spider is smaller than you." Yeah, so is a grenade!

Top
#822539 - 05/20/13 12:49 PM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Lisa LowCarb / VideoGames]
Debbie-SpiritualityEditor Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Elephant

Registered: 01/08/10
Posts: 4574
My stress level went down at least by half. I took care of a problem I have been putting off dealing with for a few days, and it has made a big difference in my outlook. Still working on the storage unit but I am making headway.

One day at a time.....
_________________________
Debbie Grejdus
Spirituality Site Editor
Spirituality Forum Moderator

Top
#822670 - 05/21/13 09:56 AM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Angela J. Shirley]
Nancy Roussy Offline
Tiger

Registered: 01/17/13
Posts: 6636
Loc: Grand-Métis, Quebec, Canada
I'm happy that you were able to take care of a problem Debbie, good luck with the rest!
_________________________
"Don't worry, the spider is smaller than you." Yeah, so is a grenade!

Top
#822671 - 05/21/13 09:59 AM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Angela J. Shirley]
Nancy Roussy Offline
Tiger

Registered: 01/17/13
Posts: 6636
Loc: Grand-Métis, Quebec, Canada
I had another experience with a spider today! A baby was in my bedroom and I went to kill that thing but it fell on the ground and I was not able to find it so now I'm going to be stressed out everytime I'm in my bedroom especially since that kind of spider gets really big!

I was sitting on my television chair relaxing with the music of 300 and my dad stressed me out for a while when he was singing like a maniac again when my mom was making his supper.

Besides that I'm okay today.
_________________________
"Don't worry, the spider is smaller than you." Yeah, so is a grenade!

Top
#822713 - 05/21/13 04:41 PM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Angela J. Shirley]
Jilly Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Highest Posting Power Known to Humanity

Registered: 02/26/03
Posts: 14392
Loc: Verde Valley, AZ
Today was actually a really great day with low stress. My mother surprised me with a day at a local motel, where I could get clean, have WIFI, have AC. I took the world's longest bath and tried out some bathing products to review for Amazon.

It's hard not having WIFI at home anymore. I can only do so much on my smartphone.

Anyway, what a relaxing day.

Top
#822758 - 05/21/13 06:44 PM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Nancy Roussy]
Lisa LowCarb / VideoGames Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Highest Posting Power Known to Humanity

Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 21139
Nancy -

I'm sorry that you have such challenges in your family.

I'm confused why there would be non-real doctors seeing her. In the US doctors have to be licensed. Do you have a sense that there are unlicensed doctors practicing in your area? What would they think is wrong, that they couldn't help with at all?

I still get the sense that your father wants attention and his "teasing" your mother is how he gets it. And your mother feels her role is to be the family support so she takes the teasing and tries her best to care for the house and feed the family. So both are locked into patterns that they've been in for so long that they don't even think about them any more. They are just what they do. It's like walking the same path to school every day for years - after a while you don't even see the path any more. It is just the way you go.

Your two real options are to work to change it, or to find a way to be at peace with it. Either you try to reduce it, or you accept the way it is. If your path is to feel upset every time it happens, that's just not healthy for you.

For your grandmother, it sounds like she has a powerful reason to be at home, and probably nothing else will ever "come above" that in her mind. So, accepting that, the best path seems to be to do the best to make the home stay as gentle and pleasant as possible. Maybe a nurse can visit once or twice a week, and help her that way?
_________________________
Lisa Shea, Low Carb / Video Games Editor
Low Carb Forum

Top
#822760 - 05/21/13 06:47 PM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Nancy Roussy]
Lisa LowCarb / VideoGames Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Highest Posting Power Known to Humanity

Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 21139
Dear Nancy -

I used to fear spiders, and it meant I had stress every time I saw one. I realized that was something I could work on. Over time I trained myself to love spiders. I do now love spiders. I am joyful when I see one.

The mind can be trained. You can change daily occurrences in your life to bring you joy, rather than stress. That can help make your entire life more peaceful.

One tiny step at a time.

Again it sounds to me that your father enjoyed being the center of attention and dragged out the process so he was getting the spotlight. He thrived in that role. So one solution is to not give him that spotlight. If you truly need help with a spider, go to your mother. Pretend your father isn't even there. It sounds like his presence didn't help the situation any, so just don't even go to him.
_________________________
Lisa Shea, Low Carb / Video Games Editor
Low Carb Forum

Top
#822761 - 05/21/13 06:49 PM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Angela J. Shirley]
Lisa LowCarb / VideoGames Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Highest Posting Power Known to Humanity

Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 21139
Jilly -

That is wonderful that you got a day to relax and remove stress from your world! You absolutely deserve it. And that will give you a fresh foundation from which to start tomorrow!
_________________________
Lisa Shea, Low Carb / Video Games Editor
Low Carb Forum

Top
#822762 - 05/21/13 06:52 PM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Angela J. Shirley]
Lisa LowCarb / VideoGames Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Highest Posting Power Known to Humanity

Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 21139
I generally like to stay home all day, but today I went out to meet with two different groups of people to do some brainstorming. So on one hand there was some stress about being there on time, and traffic, but on the other hand the meetings were quite productive and I have some good notes. The modern world of traffic and social networking is always changing, so staying on top of what to do can be a challenge. I appreciate having these groups to talk with.

It was stressful driving up because we passed a fairly horrific accident involving a motorcycle. It reminded me that every day is precious and should be appreciated.
_________________________
Lisa Shea, Low Carb / Video Games Editor
Low Carb Forum

Top
#822777 - 05/21/13 07:44 PM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Angela J. Shirley]
Nancy Roussy Offline
Tiger

Registered: 01/17/13
Posts: 6636
Loc: Grand-Métis, Quebec, Canada
Lisa,

I don't see how I could change my fear of spiders. Last Autumn before a Formula One race I was watching television waiting for my juice to freeze so I could eat breakfast I suddendly had the sensation that I had to look down and there was the biggest spider I have ever seen, that thing was bigger than a tarentula and had it's legs in a v-shape ready to jump, I almots died right there and there's zero exageration! My screams of death did not even made my parents get up and no gigantic brown spider was ever found, it took me many months to be able to put my feet on the ground while on a chair and walk in a room that was dark. That's the main reason why for most of the year I don't walk, when you walk during Summer and you see many trees have their tops full of spider webs and you get at least one nearly jumping on your feet almost everytime you are out it's not very fun. Plus they walk in the snow during Winter (NO joke!!!!). When I had a job I could of went on beautiful islands but the fear of tarentulas was what stopped me, when I see beautiful images of paradise like places the spiders and how big they must be is always my firt thought.

My grandmom has always refused help that is from outside the family. And what she accepts from her family are small things like driving her somewhere, nothing like helping her clean her house. My parents were finally able to put a longer cable on her phone so she could answer while in bed, that took them more than a year to do that!

When I screamed for help with the spider on the fridge both my parents were in the basement so they both arrived at the same time. He normally don't joke around with spiders, that one was a baby so he must he figured he could do that then, did not worked like that.

The doctors here are licensed but they don't care. When pushed they do their work but my mom was letting them push her around so they did it. The doctor I saw when I first went to the emergency room when I thought I was chocking called me crazy, that's how they are here. On May 27 my mom has a test then on June 11 she has blood tests and on June 21 she goes to see our worthless doctor who retires soon after. If she is still standing then who knows when she will be able to see the real doctor who cares. Again, if my mom would not have waited to this point it could all be over now! And I bet that what she really have is something easy to find (if you are a doctor) and easy to cure. She still goes off about my grandmom spending her entire life refusing medical care when she could have, she also says almost everyday that if she ever gets cataracts she will go to Montreal to get that taken care of, it's a miracle that I have not said to her oh like you did when you first got sick! If she would be clueless like my dad it would be less frustrating.
_________________________
"Don't worry, the spider is smaller than you." Yeah, so is a grenade!

Top
#822784 - 05/21/13 09:29 PM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Angela J. Shirley]
Lisa LowCarb / VideoGames Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Highest Posting Power Known to Humanity

Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 21139
Nancy -

Just to focus on the spiders, look at all the ways this fear is causing your life to be restricted! If you could remove this one fear, so many other aspects of your life would instantly open up for you. This one change could make an enormous difference.

Yes it won't be instant. It will take a while. That's fine! The things in life worth having usually take a while. There's no need to rush. Take tiny little steps towards it and celebrate each one.

For now, try reducing the length of your scream. Sure, you'll probably scream when you first see it. Then take ten deep breaths. Breathe and focus on those breathings. That is all you need for the first step. Screaming more doesn't help in any way smile.
_________________________
Lisa Shea, Low Carb / Video Games Editor
Low Carb Forum

Top
#822910 - 05/22/13 08:18 AM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Lisa LowCarb / VideoGames]
Debbie-SpiritualityEditor Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Elephant

Registered: 01/08/10
Posts: 4574
My stress level today is much lower than before. I completed my storage unit task......it is empty and now I don't have to pay for another month's rent on it! It has been three years of having my stuff an hour away and paying over $1200 a year. I am more calm now knowing I won't have that bill anymore. I just have to figure out where to put all the stuff I took out!

At least the stress level is going in the right direction as I take care of issues that have been hanging over my head.

I just need a job now....
_________________________
Debbie Grejdus
Spirituality Site Editor
Spirituality Forum Moderator

Top
#822921 - 05/22/13 10:11 AM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Angela J. Shirley]
Nancy Roussy Offline
Tiger

Registered: 01/17/13
Posts: 6636
Loc: Grand-Métis, Quebec, Canada
I had another experience with a spider today! This time it was bigger and when I saw it it was close to my feet! My mom was there and she got it immediately.

I really don't see how this phobia could get better for me. I was actually getting better with it before moving so I know that I at least could get it under control but the spiders here are so monstrous that there is no way to put that fear away or at least manage it!

As for my stress level, besides the spider, it is normal today.
_________________________
"Don't worry, the spider is smaller than you." Yeah, so is a grenade!

Top
#823052 - 05/23/13 08:23 AM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Angela J. Shirley]
Nancy Roussy Offline
Tiger

Registered: 01/17/13
Posts: 6636
Loc: Grand-Métis, Quebec, Canada
No spiders so far today, my fingers are crossed that it stays like that until I go to bed!

As for my stress level it is very low today, almost no stress at all.
_________________________
"Don't worry, the spider is smaller than you." Yeah, so is a grenade!

Top
#823220 - 05/24/13 11:59 AM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Angela J. Shirley]
Nancy Roussy Offline
Tiger

Registered: 01/17/13
Posts: 6636
Loc: Grand-Métis, Quebec, Canada
Again no spiders thankfully.

If it weren't for my parents singing and whistling there would be no stress for me today besides the stress I have about a decision I have to make before June 2, it's a little one but it still stresses me out.
_________________________
"Don't worry, the spider is smaller than you." Yeah, so is a grenade!

Top
#823258 - 05/25/13 12:40 AM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Debbie-SpiritualityEditor]
Debbie-SpiritualityEditor Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Elephant

Registered: 01/08/10
Posts: 4574
There are a lot of things I really need to get done, but my stress level is low. I can think better and make better decisions when my stress level is low, so I am grateful.
_________________________
Debbie Grejdus
Spirituality Site Editor
Spirituality Forum Moderator

Top
#823316 - 05/25/13 01:04 PM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Angela J. Shirley]
Nancy Roussy Offline
Tiger

Registered: 01/17/13
Posts: 6636
Loc: Grand-Métis, Quebec, Canada
It is medium today. I am thinking about the big day coming and that stresses me out a little.
_________________________
"Don't worry, the spider is smaller than you." Yeah, so is a grenade!

Top
#823402 - 05/26/13 11:53 AM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Angela J. Shirley]
Nancy Roussy Offline
Tiger

Registered: 01/17/13
Posts: 6636
Loc: Grand-Métis, Quebec, Canada
Today it is like yesterday, the big day coming is stressing me a little and my parents too but they are less worst today.
_________________________
"Don't worry, the spider is smaller than you." Yeah, so is a grenade!

Top
#823461 - 05/27/13 03:34 AM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Angela J. Shirley]
Nancy Roussy Offline
Tiger

Registered: 01/17/13
Posts: 6636
Loc: Grand-Métis, Quebec, Canada
I am going on zero second of sleep so I am kind of a zombie today, at least that helps by taking away the stress (when im tired like that only Shumi driving was able to take me back to Earth).
_________________________
"Don't worry, the spider is smaller than you." Yeah, so is a grenade!

Top
#823482 - 05/27/13 06:32 AM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Angela J. Shirley]
Nancy Roussy Offline
Tiger

Registered: 01/17/13
Posts: 6636
Loc: Grand-Métis, Quebec, Canada
Thanks to my parents I am shaking! Something was telling me to check the satellite bill (today is the last day to pay it) and it was not paid! My dad just came home from I don't know where so only my mom was there when I found that out and when I told her that this bill is in my name she told me like it was normal that they almost always paid it late! I take the blame for again being stupid in trusting them but now 0% trust is left with these two people! My mom is angry right now and acting like a baby, the last time she did this for almost a week, acting like I was not even alive and like I never was born and I don't care right now! When I get out they won't get my phone number and address, if they act like mature people for a change from when I will tell them about my moving until I get out they maybe will get a way to reach me by internet, that's it (i would be in peace since my dad dont want anything to do with computers and my mom only does some when im there behind her).

If it would not be that I go get my glasses tomorrow I would take an ativan before going to bed tonight, I am still shaking!
_________________________
"Don't worry, the spider is smaller than you." Yeah, so is a grenade!

Top
#823539 - 05/27/13 11:29 PM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Angela J. Shirley]
Nancy Roussy Offline
Tiger

Registered: 01/17/13
Posts: 6636
Loc: Grand-Métis, Quebec, Canada
I was able to calm myself last night. I listened to a song I love over and over and I sat down and wrote my list for today's trip to Matane. That little trip to get my glasses and shop will be good for me, I'll be able to go to stores I haven't been to since 2009 (1 is 1 of my fave called Ardene) plus I will buy food from a restaurant I haven't eaten from since October of 2009.
_________________________
"Don't worry, the spider is smaller than you." Yeah, so is a grenade!

Top
#823553 - 05/28/13 03:47 AM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Angela J. Shirley]
Lori-Dreams Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Chipmunk

Registered: 07/27/12
Posts: 1963
Good for you, Nancy. So glad you know how to calm yourself. Sounds like you have a nice little trip ahead of you today as well.
_________________________
Lori Phillips
Dreams editor

Bellaonline.com Dreams site
The Dream Collective
Dreams: What are you trying to tell yourself?
Twitter: @tweetdreams4u
and @flutterby03

Marriage editor
Bellaonline Marriage site
Twitter: @BellaMarriage

Top
#823556 - 05/28/13 03:54 AM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Angela J. Shirley]
Lori-Dreams Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Chipmunk

Registered: 07/27/12
Posts: 1963
My stress level is quite low and has been all weekend. Calm, relaxing.
_________________________
Lori Phillips
Dreams editor

Bellaonline.com Dreams site
The Dream Collective
Dreams: What are you trying to tell yourself?
Twitter: @tweetdreams4u
and @flutterby03

Marriage editor
Bellaonline Marriage site
Twitter: @BellaMarriage

Top
#823565 - 05/28/13 04:15 AM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Angela J. Shirley]
BB -Body Care Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Gecko

Registered: 04/09/09
Posts: 648
My stress level is low today. Stress level rises when I have several articles to write and they are due the same day.
_________________________
BB Lee
BODY CARE EDITOR


Top
#823747 - 05/28/13 08:15 PM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: BB -Body Care]
Debbie-SpiritualityEditor Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Elephant

Registered: 01/08/10
Posts: 4574
Stress level is up. It seems that I can't go too long before another challenge comes up. This particular one has my stomach all in knots. I woke up at 3:30am and I can't go back to sleep because I am thinking about it....
_________________________
Debbie Grejdus
Spirituality Site Editor
Spirituality Forum Moderator

Top
#823757 - 05/28/13 09:11 PM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Angela J. Shirley]
Lisa LowCarb / VideoGames Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Highest Posting Power Known to Humanity

Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 21139
Debbie -

I'm awake too because of nervousness. Today will be a challenging day for me - I don't like crowds and it will involve crowds.

So I figured I'd come down and put up the "birthday of the day" so that was all set. One less thing to have to do when I wake up.

Now the question is, how to fall asleep. My plan is to unroll my massage mat that I haven't used in years and years. My boyfriend's mother had given it to us. It has "rumble strips" in it. So I'll set that up and see if that helps.

Also, it helps to breathe in a soothing fragrance, to take long, deep breaths, and to tell yourself you'll focus on the issue in the morning. Remind yourself that you can trust your morning self to take care of it. Your current self's only task is to sleeeep smile.
_________________________
Lisa Shea, Low Carb / Video Games Editor
Low Carb Forum

Top
#823759 - 05/28/13 09:14 PM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Angela J. Shirley]
Lisa LowCarb / VideoGames Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Highest Posting Power Known to Humanity

Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 21139
Oh see, here I am using language poorly. We influence our brains with the language we choose to use.

So it's not that I don't like crowds. That is an unhelpful mindset for me to have smile.

I will do fine with the crowds. I will enjoy being in the crowd, because it is a proud day that I worked for. I'll tell you guys all about it later tonight. So the crowd will be fine, and I will be fine.

I am getting better with crowds every month. One step at a time.
_________________________
Lisa Shea, Low Carb / Video Games Editor
Low Carb Forum

Top
#823761 - 05/28/13 09:30 PM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Lisa LowCarb / VideoGames]
Debbie-SpiritualityEditor Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Elephant

Registered: 01/08/10
Posts: 4574
Lisa......take a deep breath later before you start and you should be ok in the crowd. If you are speaking, look above their heads and address the wall behind them. It may help and they will never know.

My stress is anticipatory stress. Later in the week my departed boyfriend's 11 yr old daughter will be here to visit with her grandparents who she has not seen since Christmas, even though she does not live far away. The mother is at fault for this, and is pushing the daughter to go through her father's things here in the apartment, instead of focusing on seeing her elderly grandparents. I am stressed because I live here and my stuff is all around too, and I don't want the emotional upheaval of pulling stuff out from everywhere to go through it.

I have a lot going on myself with trying to find a job and going through items I just emptied out of my storage unit. I am also still in my healing process. If I thought the daughter really wanted this I would not be so stressed, but the mother is pushing the issue. She is a very aggressive person. I just wish the mother would have respect enough to go through everything after I move out of the in-law apartment in a year or two. I really think this is a family matter and I don't want any part of it, especially the emotions of it all when I am trying to move on.
_________________________
Debbie Grejdus
Spirituality Site Editor
Spirituality Forum Moderator

Top
#823864 - 05/29/13 09:27 AM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Angela J. Shirley]
Nancy Roussy Offline
Tiger

Registered: 01/17/13
Posts: 6636
Loc: Grand-Métis, Quebec, Canada
Today I am more angry than stressed. My parents had a lot of fun today laughing right in my face and they look most happy about their excellent work.
_________________________
"Don't worry, the spider is smaller than you." Yeah, so is a grenade!

Top
#823979 - 05/30/13 09:32 AM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Angela J. Shirley]
Nancy Roussy Offline
Tiger

Registered: 01/17/13
Posts: 6636
Loc: Grand-Métis, Quebec, Canada
It's a little higher today, I am thinking of the big day that is coming next week.
_________________________
"Don't worry, the spider is smaller than you." Yeah, so is a grenade!

Top
#824084 - 05/31/13 09:34 AM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Angela J. Shirley]
Nancy Roussy Offline
Tiger

Registered: 01/17/13
Posts: 6636
Loc: Grand-Métis, Quebec, Canada
I'm still stressed about my big day coming up but it's less today.
_________________________
"Don't worry, the spider is smaller than you." Yeah, so is a grenade!

Top
#824092 - 05/31/13 10:33 AM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Debbie-SpiritualityEditor]
Lisa LowCarb / VideoGames Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Highest Posting Power Known to Humanity

Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 21139
Dear Debbie -

Thank you so much for your advice. My trip to New York City went quite well! My father and boyfriend were wonderful in taking care of me and nurturing me along. I had to go on stage twice to receive my awards and I didn't faint. So I am taking the small victories. My Dad went on stage with me to be with me, so that helped. I am OK with taking tiny steps.

I tried my best to relax the night before, but I didn't get much sleep. I did find the soothing scents helped a lot.

Interestingly if I look at the photos from the event now I still feel a bit of stress. So even thinking about the memory can bring on stress. So that is something I need to work on. It's silly to have harmful stress hormones in my body because of something in the past! smile.
_________________________
Lisa Shea, Low Carb / Video Games Editor
Low Carb Forum

Top
#824093 - 05/31/13 10:37 AM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Debbie-SpiritualityEditor]
Lisa LowCarb / VideoGames Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Highest Posting Power Known to Humanity

Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 21139
Dear Debbie -

I'm sorry that you are having that stress pushed on you. Hopefully the time goes smoothly and it is about gentle remembrances together. Think of this as your opportunity to help be a role model for her, it sounds like she could use one.

Good luck with the organization process. That can be quite cathartic.

Lisa
_________________________
Lisa Shea, Low Carb / Video Games Editor
Low Carb Forum

Top
#824094 - 05/31/13 10:45 AM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Angela J. Shirley]
Lisa LowCarb / VideoGames Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Highest Posting Power Known to Humanity

Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 21139
Nancy -

I definitely understand anticipatory stress. With all the books I've read on managing stress, with all my yoga and meditation, I was still stressed before going in to New York City to accept my two book awards. I knew logically that it was not helpful to be stressed - and yet I could not quite override my body's natural reactions.

Still, there are ways to ease them.

* eat healthy foods / drink water / avoid caffeine. The more healthy nutrients your body has to work with, the more even keel it will be. So that gives you a solid foundation to begin with.

* get ample sleep. I know this is hard with stress! Do your best. Darken your room. Block all little lights. Make it cool. Make it quiet or use a noise generating machine of some sort. Journal before you sleep to help reduce those circling thoughts.

* Make a list to prepare. The more you feel "in control" of what you can control, the more relaxed you will be.

* Accept what you can't control. There are all sorts of things in life we can't control. It doesn't make sense to worry about them. Just accept they will be what they are, and that life will go on. Yes it could have been rainy on the trip. And in fact it was! That was all right, we drove in the rain. They forgot to call my name for my Gold award. That's OK, Bob went up and reminded them. So solutions are found. Life goes on.

* Long, deep breaths. We tend to shallow breathe when we're stressed. That then creates a feedback loop in our brain telling our body that we should be worried. Instead, take long, deep breaths. That creates a feedback loop that everything is OK.
_________________________
Lisa Shea, Low Carb / Video Games Editor
Low Carb Forum

Top
#824095 - 05/31/13 11:32 AM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Angela J. Shirley]
Nancy Roussy Offline
Tiger

Registered: 01/17/13
Posts: 6636
Loc: Grand-Métis, Quebec, Canada
Lisa,

Congratulations for your awards! It's a shame though that they forgot to call your name for one of them!

Accepting awards must be fun and stressful. There are many people who receive many and they still get stressed out when they are nominated for another one. I remember that when we had to recite things or do other things in front of our class I was extremely nervous and everytime when I began talking it all went away, writing is my only talent so I had confidence in my homeworks when it was us who had to write what we wanted.

Breathing is an excellent way of relaxing. When I remember about doing it works.

You are right about blocking all the lights, when there's just a little tiny bit of lights this stops me from sleeping or it wakes me up. Noise never bother me except when I have trouble sleeping, I'm in one of these phases now so little noises can wake me up.

It's funny that you mention lists of what is coming up because I made a plan to sit down tonight and make one about my big day coming up.

The healthy foods and water is coming soon for me. There's little bottled water with SpongeBob in it, they are 330ml so that should be easy to drink one of these bottles per day, after a while of that I could drink more.
_________________________
"Don't worry, the spider is smaller than you." Yeah, so is a grenade!

Top
#824182 - 06/01/13 10:31 AM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Angela J. Shirley]
Nancy Roussy Offline
Tiger

Registered: 01/17/13
Posts: 6636
Loc: Grand-Métis, Quebec, Canada
I'm less stressed today (could be because ill finally see The Dark Knight Rises tonight...watching Christian Bale playing Batman is 1 of my fave past time), my first big day is set to Tuesday (wont talk about what ill do until its done...normally i talk about what i do or what im about to do and it never works out...thought i might try silence until its done), I'm actually more excited than stressed about it since fixing the day.
_________________________
"Don't worry, the spider is smaller than you." Yeah, so is a grenade!

Top
#824254 - 06/02/13 09:36 AM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Angela J. Shirley]
Nancy Roussy Offline
Tiger

Registered: 01/17/13
Posts: 6636
Loc: Grand-Métis, Quebec, Canada
Last night before going to bed I started thinking of maybe doing my big day Monday instead of Tuesday and I decided not too long ago to do it, surprisingly that has me excited instead of nervous!
_________________________
"Don't worry, the spider is smaller than you." Yeah, so is a grenade!

Top
#824439 - 06/03/13 02:20 PM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Angela J. Shirley]
Nancy Roussy Offline
Tiger

Registered: 01/17/13
Posts: 6636
Loc: Grand-Métis, Quebec, Canada
Last night something came up and that forced me to push my big day but when I was changing the dates on my schedule for that day and the following days I realised that I had made an error with scheduling so for once that something that came up was positive instead of negative, that's a welcome change and hopefully that will mean what I am about to do will work.
_________________________
"Don't worry, the spider is smaller than you." Yeah, so is a grenade!

Top
#824728 - 06/05/13 11:01 AM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Angela J. Shirley]
Nancy Roussy Offline
Tiger

Registered: 01/17/13
Posts: 6636
Loc: Grand-Métis, Quebec, Canada
It is high today. The big day is finally stressing me out plus my parents are getting to me today and I have been having a bad day today (ive only been up for about 4 hours so the day is still small sadly).
_________________________
"Don't worry, the spider is smaller than you." Yeah, so is a grenade!

Top
#824742 - 06/05/13 11:28 AM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Angela J. Shirley]
Lisa LowCarb / VideoGames Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Highest Posting Power Known to Humanity

Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 21139
Nancy -

A day isn't bad! A day is simply a day, and every moment of it you can look forward to what it has to offer. Yes, your parents are silly. That's OK! Put them out of your mind. Do you have headphones? Put on headphones! Then enjoy something wonderful on the web. From this point forward, your day will be great.
_________________________
Lisa Shea, Low Carb / Video Games Editor
Low Carb Forum

Top
#824743 - 06/05/13 12:05 PM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Angela J. Shirley]
Lori - Marriage Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Koala

Registered: 11/26/09
Posts: 2691
Loc: Orange, CA USA
No stress today. Yay!

Yesterday, I finished sewing all those mini purse-sized tissue covers for my niece's baby shower. Almost 30. That was the priority.

Nancy, I feel for you. Living with unpleasant people is such a challenge. Lisa's idea about headphones is a good one! Escape!
_________________________
Lori Phillips
Marriage editor

BellaOnline.com Marriage
Twitter: @BellaMarriage

Dreams editor
Bellaonline.com Dreams site
The Dream Collective
Dreams: What are you trying to tell yourself?
Twitter: @tweetdreams4u
and @flutterby03

Top
#824745 - 06/05/13 12:11 PM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Lori - Marriage]
Debbie-SpiritualityEditor Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Elephant

Registered: 01/08/10
Posts: 4574
No stress today. I worked hard outside doing some landscaping, so I am too tired and sore to worry about anything!
_________________________
Debbie Grejdus
Spirituality Site Editor
Spirituality Forum Moderator

Top
#824763 - 06/05/13 02:27 PM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Angela J. Shirley]
Nancy Roussy Offline
Tiger

Registered: 01/17/13
Posts: 6636
Loc: Grand-Métis, Quebec, Canada
I don't have headphones but I did listen to the score of Batman Begins not too long after posting here and that calmed me down. I also watched Master Chef and Gordon Ramsay made me laugh so that helped lower my stress too (i think hes hot too so that helped too..haha). Now my stress is low but I have a headache that does not want to go away, took some aspirins before the show started but it did not helped.
_________________________
"Don't worry, the spider is smaller than you." Yeah, so is a grenade!

Top
#824764 - 06/05/13 02:44 PM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Angela J. Shirley]
Lisa LowCarb / VideoGames Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Highest Posting Power Known to Humanity

Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 21139
Nancy -

If your family causes you stress then you might want to look into headphones. That way you can completely block them out. Long term it's better to learn to not have to block them out of course, because you can't wear headphones 24 hours a day, but for now it's a good first step.

Headaches can often be triggered by foods and dehydration so I'd start with the water first. Many people get a headache when they're starting to dehydrate. So try a glass and see if that helps!
_________________________
Lisa Shea, Low Carb / Video Games Editor
Low Carb Forum

Top
#826085 - 06/15/13 08:27 AM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Lisa LowCarb / VideoGames]
Debbie-SpiritualityEditor Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Elephant

Registered: 01/08/10
Posts: 4574
Low stress today. Things are looking up smile
_________________________
Debbie Grejdus
Spirituality Site Editor
Spirituality Forum Moderator

Top
#826357 - 06/18/13 03:57 AM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Debbie-SpiritualityEditor]
Debbie-SpiritualityEditor Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Elephant

Registered: 01/08/10
Posts: 4574
Low stress. Feeling good today.
_________________________
Debbie Grejdus
Spirituality Site Editor
Spirituality Forum Moderator

Top
#827757 - 06/28/13 12:58 PM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Angela J. Shirley]
Lisa LowCarb / VideoGames Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Highest Posting Power Known to Humanity

Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 21139
Debbie -

That is great news. Our stress level can have an impact on so many other things in life. That also has a ripple that then changes the stress levels of those around us.

The more we can manage our own stress levels, so we are at peace with the world, the more we can be encouraging and accepting of others, even with the mistakes and foibles they have smile.
_________________________
Lisa Shea, Low Carb / Video Games Editor
Low Carb Forum

Top
#827977 - 07/01/13 05:29 AM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Lisa LowCarb / VideoGames]
Debbie-SpiritualityEditor Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Elephant

Registered: 01/08/10
Posts: 4574
Low stress. Going with the flow.....
_________________________
Debbie Grejdus
Spirituality Site Editor
Spirituality Forum Moderator

Top
#828048 - 07/01/13 09:09 AM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Angela J. Shirley]
Nancy Roussy Offline
Tiger

Registered: 01/17/13
Posts: 6636
Loc: Grand-Métis, Quebec, Canada
I had an idea earlier today and if this happens it would bring me at least a full week of peace so my stress level is low today.

I still have no job but everytime I have money that I don't have to spend I put it aside even if it's just cents. That money is not a lot but it could help me a little if I were to move on my own or it could give me a little vacation somewhere or a shopping spree. My idea was to give gas money to my parents so they can go spend at least a full week to an old neighbor of ours. That woman is so nice that she has always refused any money so all my parents need is gas money. 400$ would be enough to go there and come back and it will also be enough for a week there. There's a bank in our small town so if they go at the end of the month I could pay their bills at their place and if I have appointments a nice neighbor will gladly drive me there so no worries even they would be gone more than a month! They went there three times since we moved but it was always for less than one week because then my dad only wanted that but now since he is in the middle of all the drama here (normally he always could hide and let my mom take care of all of it but now he has to be in the middle) so now he wants to go there for more than just a few days. This sure would cost less than a vacation and it would also serve as a vacation so win for everyone especially me.

I will only do that if I see myself having to live with my parents a few more years (im still searching for a way out but right now these way out are me barely eating and paying rent...living with stressful parents is hard but not eating or ending up in the streets is worst).
_________________________
"Don't worry, the spider is smaller than you." Yeah, so is a grenade!

Top
#828346 - 07/03/13 04:03 PM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Angela J. Shirley]
Nancy Roussy Offline
Tiger

Registered: 01/17/13
Posts: 6636
Loc: Grand-Métis, Quebec, Canada
Okay so I really thought about it plus counted my money and calculated everything and I will make that offer to my parents. The way I see things that's the only way that I can remain living here with them while making my big decisions and not only having enough money to move out but also be in a good place while doing this.

The stress of it all is affecting me more and more. I'm now at a point where if I don't get a break or get out of this I will either go crazy or have to take medication.

And they are getting so much on my nerves that I just cannot relax and do anything. When I am in a good mood or am about to make a decision they do or say something that either gets me mad, puts me down or stresses me too much. I just cannot do anything. Choice wise deciding on a shampoo is hard for me so how can I make a bid decision that will affect the rest of my life?

If they do not accept this then I am getting out of here. If it comes to this and want to eat while waiting to find a job it will mean no television and no internet which also means no Dallas Stars, to me it is awful since watching them is one of the rare things that gives me happiness but going crazy or having to take medication to keep me from going crazy is where I'm at so I would take that. Missing Michael Schumacher drive would of been the death of me, he is retired so this at least is not something that I have to worry about.

When I will be able to get them together without any drama (not only is our home a huge drama the rest of the town is....from my grandmom to the rest of the family to the people here...its insane).

Today my mom bumped her head on a door in a basement. It made a hole and it was bleeding but she closed it with some stitches we had in the downstair's bathroom. She is going blind because she has had the same glasses for like ten years (had a few years before my dad decided to drop his job to change them so her excuse of being poor is an excuse just like everything else). My dad when he came back from seeing one of his brothers who has to stay in one of his son's cabin (1 of the drama going on here) did not even say a thing about the hole in her forehead and the two white stiches on each sides. My mom has started talking about faxing an eye surgeon for an appointment (thats the only way people can get an appointment to an eye surgeon here) so that means in maybe one year she'll do it so then you add some months until she gets to see that eye surgeon then having to hear her say that she cannot get glasses because of the lack of money. It has always been this way and never will change.

Thankfully I never had any kids so I did not put any innocent child throught what my parents did to me!
_________________________
"Don't worry, the spider is smaller than you." Yeah, so is a grenade!

Top
#828402 - 07/04/13 11:17 AM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Angela J. Shirley]
Nancy Roussy Offline
Tiger

Registered: 01/17/13
Posts: 6636
Loc: Grand-Métis, Quebec, Canada
I just made my offer (just to my mom because my dad is too tired from his day...i was alone with her and i thought it was the perfect time) and my mom got angry. First she said "What would we do there?" (thats the person who has said almost everyday for the past weeks that she would love to have the money to spend several weeks there) then she got mad at me. Now she's in a rocking chair silent and looking at the wall (she made sure to start singing to get on my nerves before of course).

I made it clear that I'm about to go crazy here and that my brain needs a break.

I will let them think about it and if they don't take it I'm out of here next year after the season of the Dallas Stars (i may get lucky and find a job before the next season starts and be able to watch the games).
_________________________
"Don't worry, the spider is smaller than you." Yeah, so is a grenade!

Top
#828417 - 07/04/13 04:59 PM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Angela J. Shirley]
Nancy Roussy Offline
Tiger

Registered: 01/17/13
Posts: 6636
Loc: Grand-Métis, Quebec, Canada
Tonight I wrote a letter (in English since im better at expressing myself with that language) to my mom and in it I wrote what I wanted to say while making my offer. Her reaction and the faces she was making was not welcoming so instead of starting to scream I just stopped.

I did not mentioned that if they don't accept I will move out and no blame was written but I explained why I need to be alone for a time. I also explained to her what has happened to me since moving. I give them until next week to accept or not accept it.
_________________________
"Don't worry, the spider is smaller than you." Yeah, so is a grenade!

Top
#828809 - 07/08/13 03:52 AM Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Angela J. Shirley]
Nancy Roussy Offline
Tiger

Registered: 01/17/13
Posts: 6636
Loc: Grand-Métis, Quebec, Canada
My stress have been high since I made that offer!

That night after I wrote the letter I saw when getting my bed ready that my mom had written a letter. In it she was making excuses then she tried making me feel guilty (talking about my brother's death) so I wrote another small letter telling her that what I had written and said was not changed. When I got up she had written a small note explaining a two years sentence that had to do with me getting what was mine (in 2 years they will renew their mortgage and they will borrow 16,000$ and give me my money back....yeah right) and she told me that I would have my answer this weekend. Sunday night nothing so I wrote what is the answer and nothing again this morning, they had gone to run some errands when I woke up so I asked my mom (my dad went to hide upstairs) and angrily she said that the old neighbor was busy with visitors this weekend but they would talk tonight and that I would get my answer then (she used a cursed word before the word answer). She also said that it would not be before September and I reminded her that I said that I did not care that it was next year as long as they went.

So I guess that me giving them money for something that they both want and need is me being cruel!

After my brain and body has been recharged with this break I will be able to work on myself and these two "parents" will only know that I am moving out after I have found a place, they will not ruin this for me just like they have ruined all my plans and dreams.

Right now I am shaking because of me being angry with their reactions!

And if they think that they can make me wait while laughing at me they have another thing coming, if it's not 100% sure by this weekend I will do what I need to do to get out of here as fast as possible!
_________________________
"Don't worry, the spider is smaller than you." Yeah, so is a grenade!

Top
Page 1 of 81 1 2 3 80 81 >

Moderator:  DebbieMandel 

Want to reply? Register as a Forum Member - it's quick, free and fun!