logo

THIS IS THE NEW SERVER - WE ARE STILL TWEAKING IT
Channel List
Beauty & Self
Books & Music
Career
Computers
Education
Family
Food & Wine
Health & Fitness
Hobbies & Crafts
Home & Garden
Money
News & Politics
Relationships
Religion & Spirituality
Sports
Travel & Culture
TV & Movies
Safety
We take forum safety very seriously here at BellaOnline. Please be sure to read through our Forum Guidelines. Let us know if you have any questions or comments!
Newest Members
azwritergal, Sarah N., Grete, stephy2014, tantghar
57686 Registered Users
Forum Stats
57,686 Registered Members
417 Forums
115,060 Topics
818,138 Posts

Most users ever online: 615 @ 04/22/15 10:11 AM
Top Posters (30 Days)
"Rosie" 581
Nancy Roussy 433
Sheryl T 305
Connie - ADD/Sandwiches 152
Mona - Astronomy 133
Jana - Creativity Editor 110
Deanna - New Age 63
Susan - Meditation Editor 61
Lestie4containergardens 50
Terri - Exercise/Yoga Editor 42
Ad Income Supports Charity
Page 1 of 3 1 2 3 >
Topic Options
#732923 - 12/21/11 07:31 PM When have you started dating again?
Jilly Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Highest Posting Power Known to Humanity

Registered: 02/26/03
Posts: 14392
Loc: Verde Valley, AZ
How long did you wait to go on dates again? When you were separated? After the divorce papers were signed? After several years of mourning? Just curious.

Top
#733156 - 12/22/11 03:27 PM Re: When have you started dating again? [Re: Jilly]
Debbie-SpiritualityEditor Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Elephant

Registered: 01/08/10
Posts: 4547
Jilly.....my husband and I were separated when I met my current boyfriend. My husband had moved out and we were in the process of getting a divorce.

Now mind you, I was not looking for another man to get involved with. It happened purely by a slim chance and I told him outright I was not interested in a romantic or intimate relationship. But after a few months of getting to know him I felt more for him than friendship.

I don't regret meeting him, but challenges do occur when you haven't fully healed from the break-up of another relationship. That has definitely been the case for me, and if I could do it over again I would wait to date for at least a year after the divorce. I was certainly on the rebound and would have personally healed better from the broken marriage had I waited like I had originally intended to do.

My advice is to focus on yourself for a while and do not rush into another relationship. Give yourself time to heal and bounce back, so to speak. Only you will know when you are truly ready to date again. It might be 6 mos, it might be a year, or it might be even longer than that. Everyone's time table for healing is different.
_________________________
Debbie Grejdus
Spirituality Site Editor
Spirituality Forum Moderator

Top
#733169 - 12/22/11 04:38 PM Re: When have you started dating again? [Re: Debbie-SpiritualityEditor]
Elleise - Clairvoyance Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Elephant

Registered: 04/13/05
Posts: 4015
Loc: TX
I agree.

Timetables are different for everyone. Plus, when there's a disolving of a bond/relationship, something inside already knew something was wrong, that instinctual awareness.

Getting to the point where you not only feelbut know there's something/someone out there waiting for you, to me, is when you're able to enjoy going out on a date.

I will say, the better you feel about yourself, the more confident, the better the opportunities that gravitate towards you, like an energy.

_________________________
Karen Elleise
Clairvoyance Editor
Clairvoyance Site

Top
#733179 - 12/22/11 05:40 PM Re: When have you started dating again? [Re: Jilly]
Jilly Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Highest Posting Power Known to Humanity

Registered: 02/26/03
Posts: 14392
Loc: Verde Valley, AZ
My mother is wanting me to get back on the dating websites, so i have been doing that. And it's nice that plenty of men want to meet and go hiking with me. I just don't feel ready to. It's kind of a conundrum. I mean, Dan is still living here, for one thing. I just don't know who in heck I would explain my crazy current lifestyle to someone else.

Also I have so much weekly else going on that actually going on a date feels like a chore.

Top
#733191 - 12/22/11 06:23 PM Re: When have you started dating again? [Re: Jilly]
Debbie-SpiritualityEditor Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Elephant

Registered: 01/08/10
Posts: 4547
You already know then that you are not ready to date again, and that is ok and perfectly normal. Goodness....don't rush things.

When Dan is gone and you have had some time to yourself to heal and figure out what you want in your next relationship, someone special will come along when the time is right. In the meantime you should not listen to anyone else but yourself in regards to dating again.....just tell them you are not ready if someone voices an opinion.

Only you know when the time is right for you.
_________________________
Debbie Grejdus
Spirituality Site Editor
Spirituality Forum Moderator

Top
#736621 - 12/31/11 05:11 PM Re: When have you started dating again? [Re: Jilly]
Jilly Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Highest Posting Power Known to Humanity

Registered: 02/26/03
Posts: 14392
Loc: Verde Valley, AZ
Thanks for the feedback, cassie.

I actually have a date tomorrow. Just a hike. I will let you know how it goes.

Top
#736653 - 12/31/11 07:19 PM Re: When have you started dating again? [Re: Jilly]
Debbie-SpiritualityEditor Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Elephant

Registered: 01/08/10
Posts: 4547
I hope it will be a fun day for you, Jilly.
_________________________
Debbie Grejdus
Spirituality Site Editor
Spirituality Forum Moderator

Top
#737248 - 01/02/12 04:08 PM Re: When have you started dating again? [Re: Jilly]
Jilly Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Highest Posting Power Known to Humanity

Registered: 02/26/03
Posts: 14392
Loc: Verde Valley, AZ
It turned out okay. I don't think I will be dating this guy, but he seems like he might be a new friend. Which is just fine, since I really don't want to be dating yet.

Top
#737271 - 01/02/12 05:25 PM Re: When have you started dating again? [Re: Jilly]
Debbie-SpiritualityEditor Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Elephant

Registered: 01/08/10
Posts: 4547
Meeting a new friend can be good.
_________________________
Debbie Grejdus
Spirituality Site Editor
Spirituality Forum Moderator

Top
#737275 - 01/02/12 05:32 PM Re: When have you started dating again? [Re: Jilly]
Jilly Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Highest Posting Power Known to Humanity

Registered: 02/26/03
Posts: 14392
Loc: Verde Valley, AZ
it was good to at least see how I felt about other men. And it seems that I don't actually want a boyfriend at all right now. I am happy to have friends only.

My mom keeps pushing me to be active about looking for men. Why are moms like this?

Top
Page 1 of 3 1 2 3 >


Want to reply? Register as a Forum Member - it's quick, free and fun!
Brand New Posts
Washing
by Nancy Roussy
Hair
47 minutes 52 seconds ago
Hair Cuts/Trims - How Often?
by Nancy Roussy
Hair
49 minutes 49 seconds ago
Smallest Star in the Universe *new article*
by Mona - Astronomy
Astronomy
Today at 02:44 PM
Spiders!
by Nancy Roussy
Clairvoyance
Today at 01:07 PM
What exercise did you do today?
by Nancy Roussy
Exercise
Today at 01:02 PM
Back Pain Questions Answered
by Terri - Exercise/Yoga Editor
Exercise
Today at 12:36 PM
The Pale Blue Dot
by Mona - Astronomy
Astronomy
Today at 09:23 AM
Not the end of the world - but it could be
by Mona - Astronomy
Astronomy
Today at 09:07 AM
Sides du jour
by Lestie4containergardens
Sandwiches
Today at 07:42 AM
What is your stress level today?
by Nancy Roussy
Stress Management
Today at 07:24 AM
Register to Post!
Want to post? For security reasons you need to Register as a Forum Member. It's quick, easy and free!
Forum Activities
Book Clubs
Trivia Contests
Who's Online
1 registered (Izeigo), 60 Guests and 3 Spiders online.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Ad Income Supports Charity



| About BellaOnline | Privacy Policy | Advertising | Become an Editor |
Website copyright © 2015 Minerva WebWorks LLC. All rights reserved.