Chance, risk...

If you're dating, unless you're 8-10 yrs. old and even then you can have baggage. But I think a lot of what keeps true experience from comencing is resistance.

Not doing things out of the ordinary or worse becoming isolated in a past experience can be some of the things that really keep us from finding a happiness that we want to share with someone else.

What do you think?

Your authentic self?

You're funny Sandy. I was going to say the same.

I agree, I find this the hardest part actually, taking risks. You just have this set of beliefs in your head and it's hard to let go.

Yourself for sure -- if you can't be yourself when you're just dating, what are the chances of it going any farther and being enjoyable if it does?

I've always been afraid (too lazy?) to present other than the real me. What if he falls for the phony me and I'd have to be somebody else as long as he's in my life - yikes!!

(Does this explain why I've always been single???)

I think the best *effort* to put into dating before you even begin is to know exactly what you want before you get out there - then you can be your authentic self because you're confident in what you want.

Well, this is certainly a good forum to come to if you're looking for solid individuals!

I agree...Don't go into a date being something you're not. So much of that happens on-line. Life is complicated, but pretending or lieing just isn't the way to go. Either you'll get exhausted and crushed or you'll end up taking someone who is genuinely looking for someone to share their life with in a direction that usually ends up hurting in the end.

I look at dating like good food. Quality ingredients deliver the best dining experiences

"I look at dating like good food. Quality ingredients deliver the best dining experiences."

Very well said, Elleise. And so true.

[quote=Dina - Women's Fashion]I agree, I find this the hardest part actually, taking risks. You just have this set of beliefs in your head and it's hard to let go. [/quote] yup, that the hardest part!

[quote=Sandy / Cocktails Editor] Your authentic self? [/quote] I agree we always tend to become someone we not for fear of loosing the next person or for fear that the will not like you>But the question is than who is really the one that that person is in a relationship with because he will fall in love with the person you pretend to be.And many times you are unable to continue being that person. [url=http://www.livespace.co.za]Online dating[/url]

The secret I have learn't at age 53, and YES I have a boyfriend :), is to LET him be HIM and expect him to let ME be me.

Too many times we spend precious time wishing or nagging the other person to change when we need to ACCEPT them for who they are or hit the exit door.

Thanks for stopping by and sharing and welcome to the Bella Family

Getting over the threat of rejection is a big one, especially if there are things on your "resume" that could push someone away (kids, substance abuse, psychological disorders/disabilities, etc...)

Be honest, be yourself, have fun, be courteous and respectful, and accept the other person for who they are. If there is anything on this list that you just can't do, then it is time to move on.

Sometimes we pretend to be someone we are not, to make ourselves interesting, but why? One day, the true you will come out - what happenes then? Those stupid jokes you laughed at, you won't want to pretend to find funny anymore. You'll find it hard to put up with annoying habits and you'll tire of not being yourself.

Best that we enter into the relationship as our true authentic selves and let the chips fall where they may! You might be a lot happier in the long run.