BellaOnline Forums Health and Fitness Miscarriage going into hiding

On mother's day I had a miscarriage (the irony was lost on me). I was almost 10 weeks. The first few days were awful but the worst emotional break downs have come in the following weeks. We had told our family and close friends about our pregnancy. They were all very kind after the miscarriage, but I did not want to hear any of their well wishes. I especially did not want to hear it from people I barely knew. We went to a friends wedding and the grooms father (friend of my in laws) came up and congratulated us. My heart fell. A few days later we ran into my in laws neighbor and she went on and on about how mad she was that she was not the first to know that we were pregnant. We did not have the heart to tell her we had lost it. We just nodded. I held my tears until I got to the car. I want to go into hiding and hope that everyone will leave me alone. Since that is not a real possibility, I was wondering if anyone had tips for letting people know without breaking into tears...

It is okay to cry, and I am sure people would understand if you did. Just make sure you have a tissue with you and try to smile through your pain.

I hope you both feel better soon, there is a reason for everything and sometimes only God knows the reason. God chose to take your child back and for that you should not cry. But the loss of a child is painful and why? is always a question.

I am probably not being very helpful, but I wanted you to know someone out there feels your pain and wishes you well.

Best wishes to you both Linda

I had a miscarriage in August.I knew that my health would make pregnancy difficult so we hadn't told anybody yet.I hadnt really considered the pain of telling people. Im glad you posted this because it helps me to understand why a friend recently announced her miscarriage on facebook and another did it in a mass text. I though it was odd but now I see how much easier it would be to notify people in a less personal way. That may be an option for you.Or maybe you could ask your in-laws and other family members to let people know. This is a horrible time in your life and not wanting to talk about it is reasonable right now.If its unavoidable I would say,"we lost the baby and its still very painful so Id rather not talk about it right now,Hows work going?" Or some other obvious change of subject. I agree with Linda you shouldn't be worried about crying when you tell people.I've told a few people who never even knew I was pregnant in the first place and they understood my tears. It was the hardest thing I've ever gone through and I really felt for awhile like it would never stop hurting.Since very few people know people didnt understand why I changed the subject when babies came up or why I broke down crying a few times when I saw a baby. Then just about 2 weeks ago I was at walmart with a friend and she cut through the baby section and I didn't feel like crying. Then later I saw a newborn and it didnt hurt even a little. I dont think I will ever completely "get over it", but I feel like I'm starting to heal and you will get there too one day.