I really needed a good laugh today so I watched some Carlin and my day got better fast. Here's his list of People I Can Do Without. If you really want to laugh out loud you gotta watch him recite this. His delivery is hilarious!
-Guys in their fifties named Skip.
-Anyone who pays for vaginal jelly with a platinum credit card.
-An airline pilot wearing two different shoes.
-A proctologist with poor depth perception.
-A pimp who drives a Ford Escort.
-A gynecologist who wants my wife to have three Quaaludes before the examination.
-Guys with a lot of small pins on their hats.
-Anyone who mentions Jesus more than 300 times in a two-minute conversation.
-A dentist with blood in his hair.
-Any woman whose hobby is breast-feeding zoo animals.
-A funeral director who says, "Hope to see you folks again real soon."
-A man with only one lip.
-A Boy Scoutmaster who works at a dildo shop.
-People who know the third verse to the "Star Spangled Banner."
-Any lawyer who refers to the police as "the federales."
-A cross-eyed nun with a bullwhip and a bottle of gin.
-Guys who have their names printed on their belts.
-A brain surgeon with BORN TO LOSE tattooed on his hand.
-Couples whose children's names all start with the same initial.
-A man in a hospital gown, directing traffic.
-A waitress with a visible infection on her serving hand.
-People who have big gums and small teeth.
-Guys who wear the same underwear until it begins to cut off the circulation to their crotch.
-Any woman whose arm hair completely covers her wristwatch.
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