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#691106 - 05/28/11 10:37 PM early miscarriage and end of relationship
mary100 Offline
Newbie

Registered: 05/28/11
Posts: 2
I'm new to this site and I just wanted to share my experience as I dont have anyone to talk to. I had an early miscarriage and I am so devastated. I had a scan which showed the embryo had stopped growing so I had a few days to try to accept that the pregnancy was failing before the miscarriage happened. Amber's post was close to my experience. But because I was just expecting bad period pains and clots I found it really traumatic. The pregnancy itself was a shock and I am so angry and upset that I spent the entire time worrying that I was going to be single mom as my relationship with my OH is going thru a rough patch. I should have been happy and at least making the most of the time I had with the baby/embryo. Now I am worried that he is planning to leave as soon as I stop crying and I start to recover. Everyone keeps telling me that we can try again and I nod. But I am 42 and I know it was probably my only chance. I had given up on having a baby as I just cant seem to find my Mr Right even though its all I want. And I was really worried when I found out I was pregnant as I thought he would leave me but he did agree to support me if I wanted to keep it. I love him so much but now I face losing him on top of losing the baby and I cant cope. I really dont feel any hope for the future. I just see loneliness. I am so envious of moms who can try again after their loss. I feel so desperate. I thought of trying a dating site to find a decent man but who would want a desperate emotional wreak like me? I think most men would run a mile and I dont blame them. By the time I get over this I will be even older and so my chances of getting pregnant will be even less likely. Sorry to go on and on but I just wanted to tell someone. If anyone has any advice, ideas or anything at all you want to share with me please let me know. I live a long way from my friends and family so I'm really isolated.

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#691117 - 05/29/11 12:38 AM Re: early miscarriage and end of relationship [Re: mary100]
Elleise - Clairvoyance Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Zebra

Registered: 04/13/05
Posts: 3944
Loc: IL
Hi Mary I'm glad you found this site, welcome smile

I was reading along your post and your words are so truthful, open and honest. Everything you mention, seems to cover every corner of your soul and there's strength, though it may not feel like it right now, but strength, standing in the midst of what you're going through, turning around and just being in the present.

I know people mean well when they say, your emotions will be skyrocketing and you can try again, but there's this sinking well while you're hearing those things and going through what you are.

Even if emotions, you know are skyrocketing, it doesn't help the pain any. It's still there, whether you understand hormones or not. I understand the fears of being lonely and having family and friends so far away, it's like you're just there with your thoughts. Which is why I'm so glad you found us.

You've certainly got the whole woman inside there. You may feel desperate, but you're made of some pretty stern stuff having to go through what you have. That's a quality that can be rare to find these days. It's so easy to pretend to be something you're not.

That quality, which is a huge one, is where you start. It's something on the inside, like a seed and you take that and care for it...kind of like transplanting an herb or starting a plant from scratch.

You do have hormones chemicals that will be there for awhile. Drink plenty of water to help flush some of that stuff out and get that area more back to normal.

Visualizations work. Not only from a mental perspective, but you can help guide your body, as to how it is you'd like for it to get on board and help everything as a whole. I'm not saying ignore a doctor, but in between visits you can be doing these things.

You want to envision a balanced atmosphere, a clear sky (head), the water you drink, envision a rapid river flowing and twisting around the rocks and bends, cleansing and purifying the bank. You're instructing your body how you would like for it to work and why you're doing what you're doing. It will understand and perform accordingly.

Dating sites are o.k., there are some good ones out there, but you'll attract more of what you're truly looking for, the more in tunes you are with being comfortable and in love with your self as a strong viable beautiful and radiant being. Basically we attract what we put out. They are like an almost invisible vibe that people are attracted or repelled by.

I was also going to suggest, looking into fertility foods, herbs, etc., if you want to have children but do the research. Don't spend a lot of money, because you won't know exactly what your body needs. You could even make an appointment w/your doctor (an understanding one) and tell them you understand the age/conception link, but you'd still like to have that option open. Plus older parents usually make better ones.

I know this is long, but on a different note, regarding loneliness...the only cure for that is to truly feeling comfortable blessed by your own being. Relationships come and go and you can be just as lonely in a bad relationship, lonelier actually, than being open for the opportunity for a good partner to find you. smile
_________________________
Karen Elleise
Clairvoyance Editor
Clairvoyance Site

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#691584 - 05/31/11 01:14 PM Re: early miscarriage and end of relationship [Re: Elleise - Clairvoyance]
mary100 Offline
Newbie

Registered: 05/28/11
Posts: 2
Hi Elleise I just wanted to say a huge thank you for your lovely reply. I've printed it off and I keep a copy by my bed to read at night (when I feel the worst). You have given me plenty to think about and focus upon. You are an angel :) Mary x

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