Hi Mary I'm glad you found this site, welcome
I was reading along your post and your words are so truthful, open and honest. Everything you mention, seems to cover every corner of your soul and there's strength, though it may not feel like it right now, but strength, standing in the midst of what you're going through, turning around and just being in the present.
I know people mean well when they say, your emotions will be skyrocketing and you can try again, but there's this sinking well while you're hearing those things and going through what you are.
Even if emotions, you know are skyrocketing, it doesn't help the pain any. It's still there, whether you understand hormones or not. I understand the fears of being lonely and having family and friends so far away, it's like you're just there with your thoughts. Which is why I'm so glad you found us.
You've certainly got the whole woman inside there. You may feel desperate, but you're made of some pretty stern stuff having to go through what you have. That's a quality that can be rare to find these days. It's so easy to pretend to be something you're not.
That quality, which is a huge one, is where you start. It's something on the inside, like a seed and you take that and care for it...kind of like transplanting an herb or starting a plant from scratch.
You do have hormones chemicals that will be there for awhile. Drink plenty of water to help flush some of that stuff out and get that area more back to normal.
Visualizations work. Not only from a mental perspective, but you can help guide your body, as to how it is you'd like for it to get on board and help everything as a whole. I'm not saying ignore a doctor, but in between visits you can be doing these things.
You want to envision a balanced atmosphere, a clear sky (head), the water you drink, envision a rapid river flowing and twisting around the rocks and bends, cleansing and purifying the bank. You're instructing your body how you would like for it to work and why you're doing what you're doing. It will understand and perform accordingly.
Dating sites are o.k., there are some good ones out there, but you'll attract more of what you're truly looking for, the more in tunes you are with being comfortable and in love with your self as a strong viable beautiful and radiant being. Basically we attract what we put out. They are like an almost invisible vibe that people are attracted or repelled by.
I was also going to suggest, looking into fertility foods, herbs, etc., if you want to have children but do the research. Don't spend a lot of money, because you won't know exactly what your body needs. You could even make an appointment w/your doctor (an understanding one) and tell them you understand the age/conception link, but you'd still like to have that option open. Plus older parents usually make better ones.
I know this is long, but on a different note, regarding loneliness...the only cure for that is to truly feeling comfortable blessed by your own being. Relationships come and go and you can be just as lonely in a bad relationship, lonelier actually, than being open for the opportunity for a good partner to find you.