BellaOnline Forums Relationships Divorce Good Reasons for Divorce?

It is kind of a judgmental question. People who divorce do it as a rule for the right reasons. A divorce is a painful and expensive situation nobody would want to put themselves through without good reasons. (Actually I think it would be more fair to ask: are all reasons to marry good: a wedding is fun and it is done usually in the "in-love" phase, so it is something easier to take slightly)

Cheating, (not)wanting to have children, radical unexpected changes in life, growing apart... there are as many reasons and people. It is judgmental to think from the outside that some are OK but others not.

If someone is trapped in an unhappy marriage asking himself such question... I don't know: too insecure? too much need for approval? too religious? too optimistic about people changing?

You have come to understand that relationships have lifespans of their own, and you think your marriage has come to the end of its natural life.

if the relationship won't work then you have the right to have divorce. reason such as the other person hurts you physically and emotionally, cheating and negligence of the relationship have good reasons for separation of divorce.

Well, there are many obvious reasons for divorcing. But this is a very personal decision and sometimes the reasons aren't as obvious as one believes they should be to make the move. I think that abuse comes in many forms and not just hitting. Verbal, control, and disregard are all abuse and are valid reasons for leaving a marriage. But truthfully if you no longer love the person or they don't love you, it seems that you should give you or the other person the option to find happiness. I mean, that if you love someone and it isn't working then don't you owe it to yourself and them to believe that happiness is waiting somewhere else? Sometimes that means, being alone for a while to figure out what you want out of life. Lorena www.LorenaBBooks.com

What a great question! Bottom line, I think that anything can lead to divorce if you are not committed to your spouse. Anything. Finances are one of those "hot" areas within a marriage, which reveals your priorities and character more quickly than just about anything else.

My reason exactly! He is really good to me as far as taking care of me and sees to all my needs, but its not all the ingredients for a healthy marriage. He is very secretive,and he's been lying,I am tired of being the only one working at this marriage, we hardly talk, we used to talk and discuss issues all the time, no problem! He has this whole personal life that he never shares with me, as far as his family and anything else that hasnt have to do with work. When I learn something and bring it up as to why he never said anything, he gets so defensive and says its no big deal. He constantly puts me last as far as respect, and everyone else's feelings or opinions always comes first (even when not deserved) I have talked to him before about this, but never changes. I am beginning to resent the fact that I dont matter and he never defends me to no one...its gotten so bad that I dont even like him anymore, I Love him, but dont like him, he did this to me, to us. When he see's I am upset, he dont even notice, he plays xbox til I fall asleep. So, I am presenting divorce papers this weekend. I am so emotionally exhausted and he knows this but just doesnt care, I think he thinks that I should be thankful that he is a good provider and that I should keep my mouth shut.

I think the question on divorce should be, "Are you better off with him or without him?"

Better off doesn't just mean money. It covers emotions and caring. You have things in common and activities that you don't care to do together, even though you might talk about them. Above all, being better off means having a strong friendship bond.

Oh I love the X-box ritual. It's the haven where no ill anything comes to light.

The only problem, kind of major...but it doesn't produce anything real. 8 hours later, they're no further along anywhere than but for a few virtual trophies or leveling up on spell casting.

When it comes to relationships, they're the dead zone.

If your financial needs are met, but emotionally he could care less, find an emotional outlet of your own. While you're exploring you may just find you're not quite as happy as he thought you were, and may even come as a surprise to yourself.

I think if your partner is very manipulative and you are suffering of emotional abuse and no more respect to both parties...plus religion differences...get out from that situation if not you will lose your identity, confidence and self respect.

I agree barb.

In an equation where there are 2 people and 1 of those 2 people becomes manipulative, meaning, they're the only voice you hear and berate you, blame you, there are no longer 2 whole people. Little by little one of those people disappears into the berating voice that never has anything nice to say about you.