BellaOnline Forums Relationships Marriage MARRIED 1 YEAR-ARE MY EXPECTATIONS TO HIGH?

All great thoughts!

Stormchaser, when my husband traveled a lot, I immersed myself in the following:

* Education. I earned my master's degree.
* Arts and crafts. I learned how to crochet so I could make things for myself and others as gifts.
* Service. I got involved in being of service to others, helping them by babysitting, driving them to appointments, etc. Go to Volunteermatch.org.
* Socializing. I started a small monthly group for women to meet. Check out Meetup.com. It was weird at first to step out like that but I made some great friends. So so many interest groups.
* Spiritual. I began to seek, spiritually, and joined a new church.
* Cooking. I love to cook and decided to hone my skills plus write my own cookbooks.
* Planning fun times. As CaliJack suggested, I did make the best of his time with his homecoming being a very special time. I surprised him a lot with all sorts of things and romantic evenings at home.

And BellaOnline.com is a terrific place to learn and grow. Plus, you really do meet some amazing women here. Once in a while, we actually do get to meet face-to-face. (I'm seeing Jilly tomorrow!) But even if we only meet online, we still have some great relationships going. Hope you'll join us.

I just joined HEALTHY WOMAN ONLINE which is a free resource for women age 25-64. It also allows you to find local healthy women events within your zip code. Healthywomenonline.com The most recent even I signed up for is at the local hospital called "Woman's Imaging Services, A New View". The radiology staff guides you through the new face of the Women's Imaging Suite that offers digital mammography and stereotactic breast biopsy. Learn how digital mammograms and bone density scans are reviewed using the latest technologies. This clinic is perfect timing since I will be getting my first mammogram this coming September. Well, at least it's a step.

That is a great step!

If I may interject, arts and crafts were mentioned and that is exactly what I was thinking about. You don't have to be artistic to do arts and crafts, take it from me. I am not artistic at all but I do enjoy doing my crafts and they are pretty good.

Try something simple first if you'd like to. Buy some unfinished bird houses at AC Moore or Michaels and paint them. Craft paints are cheap, usually under a buck depending on where you go. I make fairy houses out of mine. I paint them, hot glue small sticks and twigs to them and you can even put some glitter on them when they are done. You can sell these at craft fairs, get an etsy account and sell them online, get a weebly account and do the same.

Another craft I do is decoupage. I take the faces of old cards, calender photos, even wall borders and use them in various ways. You can buy unfinished wooden trays, wooden boxes, plaques, picture frames, etc... at the same craft stores I mentioned. Let's use a wooden tray for example. Paint the tray with a color or colors that will complement the thing you are decoupaging. You can burn the edges with a lighter or just leave it whole. Glue the picture or wallpaper border into the tray. Then go over the whole thing with an acrylic sealer. You spent maybe five or six bucks for this project and can sell it for ten or fifteen bucks or whatever you want to. They also make great Christmas and birthday gifts.

Mosaics is another one I enjoy doing. Buy some tiles or mirror pieces or whatever and glue them to say a candle holder or a terra cotta pot or any glass jar, mortar them in and voila you have a decorative piece of art to sell or give away. I have even used these on wooden trays as well and they come out nicely. There are a lot of inexpensive craft ideas out there and you can make money with them if you want to.

A lot of libraries have computer classes you can take or try writing a novel or a short story or as Lori mentioned see about becoming an editor here at Bellaonline. It doesn't pay anything but there are ways you can make money with your site. You will write a weekly article for your site or as many articles that you want to write in a week and you will moderate your own forum for your site. It is a lot of fun and you really do get a chance to make friends and meet editors in person as well.

These are just ideas to help keep your mind occupied and your hands busy while you are alone wishing for companionship.

Does your hubby telling you no about getting another part time job really mean you can't do it? He's working 500 hours a week what does he really care if you are working a couple of part time jobs? In th grand scheme of things, does he really get to tell you what you can and cannot do? If you are obliging him to stay out of arguments and hardship and you are all right with it, then by all means don't work another job.

At least look into the crafts and see if there is something you would like to make or create and sell them or donate them or give them away as gifts. At least this way you will be busy.

I have been doing some research and still have not come up with anything I have settled into. I live in a rural area and the local rec. center programs are 95% kid-friendly. The local AC Moore and Michael's Craft Stores use to have craft classes for all kinds of stuff but have now discontinued them. The website Volunteermatch.com has nothing in my area and the closest is 40-50 miles away. I also kinda feel out of place in a way. Why you may ask? When I mention to people that I am bored or have nothing to do, they look at me like I am from outerspace. Please note that these are people that have families to take care of, homemakers, etc. I, on the other hand, have no extended family (have a sister but a rocky relationship) and am childfree. My husband gets his social needs met at work with a close-knit group of guys. I have almost none. I am a schoolbus driver and am around kids with no adult communication. I just wanted to chime in and give an update.

Although I live together with my husband, everyday he turns around me, but before we fall in love, we had our own life and had lots of interest, did not feel lonely, bored. Those habis remained to the present. So I think you should train more interests, like music,dance, reading, cooking, meet new friends, etc. We should make our life colorful. Smiled every morning.

Are you even remotely interested in participating at a church? Because church's often have a member who is housebound and could use a ride to church or a visit and that person would probably also relate to being bored without enough to do.

Church's often have the little local volunteer jobs that a site like VolunteerMatch.com won't have. Like someone is in the hospital and needs people to come over and watch the kids for a couple nights.

Just one more idea.

There has to be something that will fit. Don't stop looking until you find it!