BellaOnline Forums Education Distance Learning Homosexual Coworker / Ethics Class Question

Here's an interesting question to ponder from the ethics class.

The scenario: John and Bob both work for Mary. They've been working together for years and have done many projects together amicably. Both men run teams. However, John just found out that Bob is gay. This bothered him.

Mary met separately with John and Bob to talk about them working together going forward. She asked John what he'd like to do and he suggested two of his senior team members step up and act as liaisons with the other group. A good learning experience / career growth with them, and a solution to his issue.

So then all three get together again and Mary says "OK Bob, John is going to have his two team members liaison with your group going forward. Issue solved."

Bob yells: "Discrimination! He's treating me differently because he now knows I'm gay!"

Mary states dictatorially: "I am only going to say this once. We do not discriminate."

Bob (interrupting): "Yeah right."

Mary: "Cut that out. We simply have two co-workers who can't get along and we need to find a solution so our project can get done."

Bob: "Send John to counseling!"

John: "See what I have to deal with!"

I'm summarizing of course

So what should Mary have done?

Send John and Bob to somebody who can help them mediate this difference. If they have worked together for many years, and the only thing that has changed is that Bob is now openly gay, then they should be able to patch things up.

I do not believe that introducing a buffer layer is a great idea. If it had been what is best for the organization, they would have done it before Bob let people know that he is gay.

I think part of what I would have done was, as soon as the two men started arguing in my office, I would have gently brought the meeting to a close and then worked on a different approach. It did no good to have them yelling at each other in the office, and Mary's response of yelling back at them certainly didn't help things!

My edit on the initial post was just to fix a typo in the title.

Yelling does not get you anywhere. It only makes it worse. She should have ended the meeting and then brought in the mediator. I agree on the buffer.

Dear Rebecca -

I imagine if a manager starts yelling at an employee she is setting the tone that yelling is acceptable. I'm thinking back through my various jobs and I don't think I ever worked anywhere that people yelled at people. Maybe I was lucky?

Lisa

In my opinion, Mary should have a dinner meeting or just meeting with the two of them. I'm thinking dinner, to help keep escalades on the down side, cordial.

Bob, I feel is right in that he is feeling attacked, who wouldn't? You just know, what you know - feel and when you're already putting it out there and all of the sudden your group posse changes, you just know.

So, if Mary is the steerer (sp) of this ship, she should balance her sails. If she could do it alone, she would have. However, each of these men bring something to the table that she needs. So, support them both, respect them, not just one.