BellaOnline Forums Health and Fitness Mental Health Wanting to not be...angry.

I wish I knew why I was so damn angry...a lot of the time. Yes, I am one of the cliche statistical human beings that grew up in a broken, abusive home, but does that mean that's all that I am because that's what I saw and knew? I'm not uneducated or naive. I know that things in childhood affect and impression our brains at such an early age that it's hard or near impossible to reverse, a lot of the time. There are therapies that help mask symptoms, or redirect misguided emotions, but that's kind of just a way to subdue the truth. I'm not unaware that all that I've experienced has helped shape my personality. So why can't I just be happy? Why do I let things that are seemingly so minute, so unimportant bother me to the extent that I snap at those I love and get enraged at inappropriate times? I just want to feel....human.

It is very difficult to feel happy, believe it or not, when we have felt anger for a long time. Sometimes we will choose situations that make us angry so we can perpetuate this anger. It is programmed into you from a young age. I used to do this sometimes and figured it when I was around 35, I say my young middle-aged crisis. It is also difficult to pinpoint what is making you angry. It helps if you can make a list of times, places, or situations that make you angry. It might help you to modify those situations that you can, so you have room to begin to feel happier. Do things that make you happy. If you are short on cash like many of us, take yourself out to dinner, take time for yourself if you like to exercise, start that class or hobby you have been wanting to. Hope this helps.