BellaOnline Forums Health and Fitness Miscarriage When will I be myself again?

Hi.I've recently had a bad experience with a miscarriage.I was about 7 weeks when I was told I miscarried (after a week of bleeding and uncertainty) and then told it was incomplete...baby still there but had died:(So took some tablets the day after the scan...told I could go home and given co-codamol.The pain I experienced was unbearable and I was told by nhs direct I was not a priority and to basically put up and shut up.I've never had a baby before but I'm sure it was labour pains and it went on for about 3 and a half hours. A few days later I'm back at work.I feel horrific and no matter what I do my mood doesn't seem to completely pick up.I have moments but I'm always feeling low about it.I want to feel normal again and just want this horrible feeling to pass.I have feelings of guilt as when I was pregnant I didn't know...I smoked...I went out drinking 3 times.I've been told it wasn't my fault but I don't buy it.I can't shake the thought that I killed my child and that kills me... I want to be pregnant again as I desperately want a child but have no idea when I can try again.I'm still bleeding like I'm on a period and need to take a pregnancy test in 2 weeks time to check I've 'passed' everything. Sorry for the whinge but I needed to vent and I need to know when I will feel ok again as i'm sick of this guilt and low points

You are putting stress and guilt on yourself. It's natural to feel a wide range of emotions during this time, but it is true...YOU DID NOT KILL YOUR CHILD. Do not let anyone make you feel or tell you otherwise. In most cases, the body knows that there is a genetic/physical defect and that you wouldn't want to carry to term anyhow. IT ISN'T YOUR FAULT. And you join millions of women, myself included that share your experience and know what you are going through. Look to better days and know that it was for the best, and you will get through this.

Amber allow yourself to feel the hurt and dissapointment I will not tell you the cliches God Knows whats best this is not the time. but what i can say is he has brought me through many difficult situations even when I didn't knw he was there. allow your family, friends and if connected with a church family to support you. I will keep you in my prayers for a full recovery and a Lifetime of Joy in the very near future. Blessings Thelma Lawson

Lord this is horrific you probably should not be @ Work so soon I don't knw your financial situation and why you returned so soon. I am IN PRAYER for you young Lady never experience a miscarriage but my heart goes out to you, I just hope you have family support if not there are Women shelters that offer counseling and support not just for battered women they meet women at every level of need if not feel free to contact me. i am a nurse for 33 years and have some medical backgroung also a Coach Chair for Women Ministry.

A miscarriage is a loss, a bereavement, a highly emotional and confusing experience. It would be good for you to consider contacting a support group where you could meet with others who have suffered this loss. Here is one, but if I don't know if they are local for you.

Babyloss

Having support won't ease the pain, but it could help you to withstand it. Perhaps you can also in time also be prepared for a planned pregnancy.

Thank you for the replies...it does help to see that people genuinely believe I'm not to blame. That is starting to sink in now but there is still some element of guilt. I guess in these situations you need someone/something to blame and I turned on myself! I went back to work because basically I was home alone so wanted the distraction...and its actually helping so far. I just hope the pregnancy test next week reads not pregnant, as I was told I needed to do it to check everything had 'passed'. It still stings, I still get tearful about it but I just have to accept that's how I'm going to feel for a while. I am feeling a bit better now though than I was last week, so that goes to show that time does indeed help. This website I am finding VERY helpful, just seeing that there are many people out there who understand and have been through the same/similar experiences. Thank you again.