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Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 542
BellaOnline Editor
Gecko
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BellaOnline Editor
Gecko
Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 542
Subject: For Sale
FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER.
8 years old. Hateful little b*st#rd. Bites!

FREE PUPPIES:
1/2 Cocker Spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbor's dog.

FREE PUPPIES:
Mother, AKC German Shepherd.
Father, Super Dog... able to leap tall fences in a single bound.

FOUND DIRTY WHITE DOG
Looks like a rat...been out a while.
Better be a big reward.

COWS, CALVES: NEVER BRED
Also 1 gay bull for sale.

NORDIC RUNNING TRACK
$300 Hardly used, call Chubby.

JOINING NUDIST COLONY!
Must sell washer and dryer $320.

WEDDING DRESS FOR SALE
Worn once by mistake. Call Samantha.

And the last, but not least:

FOR SALE BY OWNER:
Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica, 45 volumes.
Excellent condition.
$1,000 or best offer. No longer needed.
Got married last month. Wife knows everything.


Carolyn, Beer & Brewing Editor
The Beer Fox

Beer and Brewing Website
Beer & Brewing Forums

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Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 542
BellaOnline Editor
Gecko
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BellaOnline Editor
Gecko
Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 542
On reaching his plane seat a man is surprised to see a parrot strapped in next to him. He asks the stewardess for a coffee where upon the parrot squawks "And get me a whisky you cow!" The stewardess, flustered, brings back a whisky for the parrot and forgets the coffee.

When this omission is pointed out to her the parrot drains its glass and bawls "And get me another whisky you idiot". Quite upset, the girl comes back shaking with another whisky but still no coffee.

Unaccustomed to such slackness the man tries the parrot's approach "I've asked you twice for a coffee, go and get it now or I'll kick you".

The next moment, both he and the parrot have been wrenched up and thrown out of the emergency exit by two burly stewards. Plunging downwards the parrot turns to him and says "For someone who can't fly, you complain too much!"


Carolyn, Beer & Brewing Editor
The Beer Fox

Beer and Brewing Website
Beer & Brewing Forums

Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 542
BellaOnline Editor
Gecko
OP Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Gecko
Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 542
While cruising at 36,000 feet, the airplane shuddered, and a passenger looked out the window.

"Oh no!" he screamed, "One of the engines just blew up!"

Other passengers left their seats and came running over; suddenly the aircraft was rocked by a second blast as yet another engine exploded on the other side.

The passengers were in a panic now, and even the stewardesses couldn't maintain order. Just then, standing tall and smiling confidently, the pilot strode from the cockpit and assured everyone that there was nothing to worry about. His words and his demeanor seemed made most of the passengers feel better, and they sat down as the pilot calmly walked to the door of the aircraft. There, he grabbed several packages from under the seats and began handing them to the flight attendants.

Each crew member attached the package to their backs.

"Say," spoke up an alert passenger, "Aren't those parachutes?"

The pilot confirmed that they were.

The passenger went on, "But I thought you said there was nothing to worry about?"

"There isn't," replied the pilot as a third engine exploded. "We're going to get help."


Carolyn, Beer & Brewing Editor
The Beer Fox

Beer and Brewing Website
Beer & Brewing Forums

Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 542
BellaOnline Editor
Gecko
OP Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Gecko
Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 542
Anyone for musician jokes? Her are a few:

How do you get a guitar player off of your front porch ?
Pay for the pizza.

What do you call a guitarist who breaks up with his girlfriend ?
Homeless ..

Why do clarinetists leave their cases on the dashboard?
So they can park in the handicapped zones.



Carolyn, Beer & Brewing Editor
The Beer Fox

Beer and Brewing Website
Beer & Brewing Forums

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