When you are experiencing extreme stress, an argument,a loss, or a grade/observation/evaluation that you feel you didn't deserve,you are literally out of your mind and into your senses - fight, flight or freeze mode. The inflammatory process is upsetting your physical and emotional balance, but then I don't want to stress you out with how damaging the stress cycle is for you - I have a feeling that you already know that.

Sure, meditation is great; however, many of us who are not experienced at meditation will not have the patience to do so when we are in the throes of stress. Stress management means preparation - during the good times to set up for the bad times - practicing reinterpretation of the negatives into gentler positives until it becomes automatic. This is my personal form of meditation!

Another "meditation" I practice, based on the science of stress, is to move stress hormones out of my body in order to think straight. You can combine this with meditation: Take a walk in the light with headphones (sound therapy). This is a moving meditation. When you are out in nature, you can reset your natural rhythm and reboot your system.

No one can trivialize you, but you! We all have bad memories from grades - the red letter F for failure. I have seen women keep achieving higher degrees just to prove their self-worth - they enjoy getting graded and seeing the A or the high score on their exam. These grades help them feel better about themselves. One woman wrote me that she is on her third PhD because she feels like an impostor; what can she do to stop?

Instead find your creative compensation, what you love to do and are good at doing and soar... To paraphrase Ralph Waldo Emerson - great people are often misunderstood and under-appreciated in their time period. Balance external validation with self-love.

Debbie -

This is fantastic information, thank you so much! I love the idea of walking in the sunshine with relaxing music, it combines so many stress-releasing things in one powerful package!

Hi Debbie / Lisa,

It's really interesting that you both mention the meditative aspect of walking. I was recently asked to review a book on walking the Appalachian Trial. The author (walking 2,168 miles in under four months!) found that walking has a dramatic effect on Body, Mind and Soul!

See: Hike Your Own Hike

Debbie/Lisa/Joy

Have any of you come across the work of William Bloom (psychologist and meditator)? His book The Endorphin Effect may be his best known. His website, if you have not come across it/him is here: William Bloom - great Writings (books and articles) section.

Thanks Debbie, your article was really interesting. In today's world when everyone is running like an express train, stress management has become very crucial part of our lives and its important as well otherwise our heads are going to blast. LoLzz, I consider exercise as the best stress buster. Yoga helps even more.

Hi Asha, thanks for that info. (JOY)

When I am in the midst of extreme stress, there are some good ways for me to handle things and some ways that make everything magnified.

I think walking it off is the single best non-prescription-drug method I have found. I just walk for hours and hours, and things seem to work themselves out a little in my mind. It's even better to walk in the sun, or in a place with pretty scenery...but i sense the actual walking itself is the best thing for me.

I manage extreme stress with humor. People are always commenting on my funny Facebook quotes, but the more stressed I am, the funnier I get.

When things get that bad I take off! I guess that would be the flight response. When I lost my job back in 2004 I had this horrible feeling things were about to get even uglier than they already were (financially) so I drove to CA with a friend, walked around in L.A., walked around Venice Beach, drove around Hollywood. We hardly spent any money but had a nice relaxing time. It's good to get away from your problems sometimes. Puts things into perspective so you can move on and find solutions.

Hi Debbie. I've never came across these other techniques for managing stress that you've just shared. And, like the others I love the idea of sound therapy. I love nature but I've never thought of this method before. Nature does heal and refreshes...oh, the serenity, the quiet, it's being genuine. Thanks Debbie for sharing this