I am fairly new to the stepparenting thing also. I have been with my boyfriend for 4 years now and he has 2 kids, 11 and 6. We don't see them very often because they live about 4 hours away. So when we have seen them, I usually cater to them, do all their cooking, dishes, laundry, clean their rooms etc. I'm with them most of the time because the bf works, unfortunately he only sees them for a short time after work and Sunday when he's off. Last visit, the sd told me she doesn't like going to grandma's for the summer because she 'uses' them by making them do chores!!!! I was appalled and disgusted by this. I was raise to respect elders and do chores. They will be visiting in a week and I really think things need to change: they need to start doing chores. anyone offer any suggestions?? what's fair for them to do? Bf is very suppportive in what I will have them do....

I got ours started on chores by making them compete. Each had assigned chores. First time someone didn't do theirs, I let the other one do them for a $5 iTunes gift card. Since they didn't want to lose, the contest lasted a month and they got used to doing them. $5 was a small price to pay. After a while I told them if they stepped up and did more, they could earn an allowance. We've had a few hiccups, but generally they've taken on more responsibility.

I have a notebook and I write their names in there, with their responsibilities to finish them before getting to do anything "fun" like TV, video games, playing outside or going anywhere, etc. They check them off when they are finished, then I go check their chores to confirm they were done properly, and if so, they get approval. If not done properly, they have to finish or start over. I made the chores not too hard, but not too easy, either (can't be done in 5 minutes). You can also reward them with special treats, like banana splits, or a movie or whatever, if you are having trouble with them doing them. (bribery works great sometimes) and it also makes it fun.
They should definitely be contributing, I agree. It will make them better people for it.

Shock, horror! A child is actually expected to do chores??? What is the world coming to? My SS14 spends so much time at his grandparents house where he is waited on hand and foot and when he comes home he does NOTHING. He doesn't care about pocket money because his grandparents (and his father) give him everything he could ever want and pay him to wash cars (which he likes doing anyway). So he never does anything around the house, and the one thing he did do - set the table - he does at his own pace so I end up doing it myself because it's easier than yelling upstairs 10 times to get him to come down and do it. The other day we were having guests over and as I was busy cooking I asked him to do some light work - bring in the washing and sweep the patio. Well, the amount of complaining just wasn't worth it. It makes me sick. I have given up on him, I have two younger children to look after and I just don't have the time to undo everyone else's bad parenting.

Hadn't logged in for a while, just saw your reply. Boy I hear you!!!!! My SD says she doesn't have to do chores at her Mom's, so it's been difficult. I've given her chores, but she either does them half-a**, doesn't do them at all or only does the ones she wants. I've given up on her room, she can leave it messy if she wants, I don't want to waste my energy anymore. I'm convinced StepMoms have the hardest most unappreciated jobs in the world. You 'just don't have time to undo everyone else's bad parenting'- You said it!!!!!!