BellaOnline Forums Beauty and Self Body Image Why Women Envy Other Women

Do you think that women who are more physically attractive than the average woman enjoy more opportunities in love and life? Read my article. Share your thoughts.

Why Women Envy Other Women

Wow, I just read this and it's great. I can totally relate to the first part where you talk about feeling like society is imposing their idea of what a girl is supposed to be like.

I remember being told a lot as a kid that I needed to look and act a certain way because otherwise what would people think. I started breaking free from this in my late teens but increasing my self esteem was not easy especially in my line of work.

Now in my 40's I don't struggle with it like I did in my 20's or 30's. Maybe getting older helps too.

Great article!

That is a brilliant article Cassandra, and so true. Society drives the message home that you must be attractive to be worthy. If women ARE to be judged, they should be judged on so many other aspects of their lives!

Cassandra, fabulous article! I am passing it on to several older women that I know and a couple of young women.

As a large woman, my size is my first impression for many people. The ones who judge me by size alone, will always discount me and my various talents. Size is a great winnowing tool; people who can't see beyond it are not destined to be a part of my life.

I remember a friend of my sister-in-law. Every time that we met, she was cold and condescending. She would look at my husband and me, and the thoughts would practically scream from her head. "What in the world does he see in her?" After more than thirty years together, my husband and I are still in a deeply committed relationship. What we have is more precious than jewels. It transcends body size, shape, and saggy-baggyness. Rather than being based on the ephemeral, it is based on respect and caring.

Thank you for writing this article. In our age of surface glitz, it goes deeper.

Connie

LOL, I use to envy other women but now at age 52 I have gotten so comfortable in my skin - doesn't happen anymore & I am so GLAD

[quote=Angela J. Shirley]LOL, I use to envy other women but now at age 52 I have gotten so comfortable in my skin - doesn't happen anymore & I am so GLAD :) [/quote] it is great good luck

Hi All,

As I am 40 but look like I'm in my early 20's and skinny, I have to say that this sucks . I am always getting hit on by men and I never get the job I want due to some other woman telling me I will take the attention off her so therefore I will not be hired. It is so hard and that in itself lowers my self esteem. So pretty girls don't always get the fun. Being blonde doesn't help either as the "Blondes have more fun and are ditzy" thing. I am very intelligent and I have common sense. My boyfriend tries all the time to boost me and I normally don't let it bother me but there are days it drives me crazy; so I keep thinking positive. I can't wait for the day I feel comfortable in my skin.

Well, I have some good news for all us women. Good men that I have met have said that it is not what they look like that attracts them. It is...are you ready for this... Confidence! That is the sexiest attribute a woman can have. And it's true because I have gained weight but I stil get more looks than I ever did in my 20's, why? Because I know who I am and what I have to offer. And men respond to that. Of course I'm not saying that being healthy isn't important...it absolutely is. But what size you are isn't the mark of how beautiful you are.

Great article! I have to say one nice thing about getting older is that I am now more focused on improving myself for my health and how I feel about myself, rather than what anybody else thinks about it.

I think confidence is important and we can all make the best of whatever we are given. Exercise, eating right, creating habits that make us healthier is bound to make us feel better about ourselves.

Cassandra, great Article, Usually it is really dis interesting for me to read a 400-500 word article, but when it came to your article, i was compelled to read it. It was about the basic nature of women and society's outlook towards a women. I think the facts that you've written are totally true and a woman's biggest enemy is another women itself.

Great article! I definitely agree when you said, "Women envy other women because they have not learned how to recognize and channel their internal desires, feelings and goals into physical, tangible realities that are uniquely their own." I sometimes feel this way, but not just to women. I am always amazed and a bit envious by people who can do things that I can't, but I don't think that diminished my thoughts on self worth. Sometimes I use it as an incentive to try it myself

Great article Cassandra! As for body image, I had the opposite problem. From 16 yrs old to 30 years old, I was (90 lbs.)a size 0 and still remain only 5 ft even. I envied the taller, curvy girls because they had a figure while I still had the body of a boy and had to shop in the KIDS section!! Munchkin, smurf, etc were demeaning and it was difficult to get anyone to take me seriously. It got so bad that I became an angry introverted person who yelled and insulted strangers before they could do it to me. At 30 yrs old, much to my delight, I put away the t-shirt and got a 36C bra!! I can fit into size 7/9 pants!! Now at 40 yrs old, I have a 36, 26, 34 figure!! My weight fluctuates between 113 and 121. I am thrilled!! Since I was a little girl, I've always wanted to have butt and boobs!! So to all of you beautiful, big curvy women--I ENVIED YOU FOR 30 YEARS!! Love your figure and yourself because you. are. gorgeous!

Very good article. Who wants to be young when the young are full of uncertainties and doubts about themselves. As we grow older we tend to have achievements that boost our confidence and belief in ourselves, thus, we don't have a reason to envy other women. That is, of course, if we've used that time to make a difference.

They envy others maybe because of they are not the same or they are looking at the outside appearance of the person....They are looking at there size and beauty and that's could be the possible reason why they envy others who is not the same to them...

Good article, thank you so much.

Hi ladies, I agree with all of you. When I was very young and first married. He told me I had to be thin and beautiful every day. Well, I am no longer married to him and I love the way I look. i am 45 and a full figuer woman and I also have a man in my life that loves me for me. We need to teach the young girls and women that thay are beautiful no matter what.

Agreed-- great article. It's hard not to compare yourself to other women, and you need to realize that even if you don't think so, other women envy you for something you are or do. It's difficult, but be happy with who you are and appreciate the differences in others :)

Cool article, nice. Women always love jealousy.......

Ya ! I truly agree with Lisa. Nice to share such a true words.. :)

Fantastic article... reading the line �I am now smaller than the woman my husband left me for.� made me shocked as it is terrible that a women should take on an aspect of deserving being cheated on for being bigger! Its a shame that some women feel that way, time to get your confidence on ladies!

I agree with you.

That is a brilliant article Cassandra, and so true. Society drives the message home that you must be attractive to be worthy. If women ARE to be judged, they should be judged on so many other aspects of their lives!

I thin kit is because women want to be the best one.

if women looks more attractive then she definitely she will enjoy more with confidence..........

I don't understand why this happens. If women were jealous of men, it might be understood. But being jealous of your own sex, is seriously stupid.

While I agree that society may generate messages that sow the seeds of envy in women, it is OUR responsibility with whether we allow unproductive thoughts to rule our minds.