BellaOnline Forums Health and Fitness Depression DEPRESSION TRIGGERS WE CAN CONTROL

Hello, everyone!

My new article is entitled "Depression Triggers We Can Control."

Have you accepted situations in your life which are causing your depression? There are some things over which we have no control, but that doesn't include everything. Take control, make some changes, and get happy!

You can read the article at the link below:
BellaOnline's Depression Site

I hope you're all having a wonderful day!

Take care of you!
Kitten

Great article! My husband just changed jobs and is so much happier. It is for less money, but just being happy makes it worth it.

Yes, sometimes we do have "control" over what is triggering our sadness/depression.

And it is during those times that we have to make the effort to make a change even when we just want to stay in the bed and feel sorry for ourselves.

Read a book about choosing to be in "victimville" and it sure told me about ME - the choices I was making was keeping me in this neighborhood.

Thanks for sharing

Thanks so much for your posts, Connie & Phenix City!

Connie, you're right! That money doesn't make you happy, does it? I left a job making $1.50 per hour more, and returned to my old job a few years ago. With that little bit of extra money came a lot of stress and misery! It was so nice to get back to where I felt comfortable, even though the pay was pathetic! LOL!

Phenix City, welcome to our little forum. Hope you'll come back to visit again. And I think we're all guilty of contributing to our own problems to some degree. There are things we can do to change our situations, but sometimes it's just easier to stay in "victimville" because that's what we're familiar with. Taking the easy way out comes with a price, tho'--depression!

Thank you for the welcome, much appreciated.

You sound so UPBEAT - is this something you work on or does it come naturally?

She is just naturally peppy...I always picture her as a cheerleader!

LMAO!!

When I read the posts about my being peppy and upbeat, I had to laugh! NO DISRESPECT INTENDED! I'm so glad you can see me that way because I try really hard to put on my happy face when I'm around people or online. I feel like it's my job on here to try to make others feel better, so I do my best to do that.

I read your posts to Kelley, my husband, and he laughed a little bit with me. My being the editor of the depression site is no accident. I've battled depression since I was 16 years old, and sometimes I feel like I'm losing the battle. My life is not quite as painful as it used to be before Kelley and I got married, so I'm more stable. I'm not medicated right now because of side effects I've had and potential ones from the last med prescribed. When I saw that it could destroy my liver and/or kidneys, I said, "I'll take my chances with my depression and mood swings." Maybe they can try something else when I go back.

But I'm really glad to know that you guys see me as upbeat! As for the cheerleader thing, Connie, I also try to be encouraging, so maybe that's my inner cheerleader coming out!

Thanks so much to all of you for your posts! Keep them coming!

Kitten, thanks for being open with us. If you can do, so can we

So I am really late here chiming in! Life has been busy lately, but I couldn't tell you what I was doing. I like coming here, it is easier to talk about how I feel or things here with people that understand depression. At first my husband couldn't understand depression. He thought I should just be able to get over things. I think the longer I suffer the more understanding he becomes. He was the first to suggest a therapist. My mom always tells me to get my medicine changed. I have taken a lot of medicines over the years and what I am taking now helps. I just think I have to change the way that I look at things and I just know I am going to be depressed at certain times. Our oldest son died 2 years ago August (on my birthday). He was born on Christmas so that pretty much makes any holiday suck. This year my gramma died the day after my birthday. I loved her so much and still miss her tons. I am tearing up just writing this. Anyway, I am going to stop here! Thanks for listening everyone!

Conniem, I am so SORRY!!!!

You have every right to "tear up" - that is alot to deal with.

WE are here whenever you need to talk.....

Thanks PCity...I just think the holidays coming make things harder. I hugged my husband and told him I loved him before he left for work and he told me he hated the holidays because it makes me all "ooky" lol. I had a good session yesterday with my therapist. I don't think I have cried this much in a long time. I am feeling much better today. I woke up and found my youngest son home asleep so it will be a good day because we can spend time together! It must be his day off today.

Sometimes we need to CRY. It cleanses us and gives us a fresh start. But I am working on not crying so much (lol). Makes my boyfriend feel like I am unhappy with him.

The holidays use to be hard on me when I was still hanging on to the hope that MY family would be there for me.

Once I healed and been able to move on, I plan things to do so that I am not sitting around feeling sorry for myself.

And yes, I still have my moments especially when my boyfriend's family gather around - I don't miss the stress (lol).

So you son is off from school and you did not know - u funny

My son doesn't live at home anymore. He comes over to do laundry on his day off from work. He lives about an hour from here. On his day off we always try to do something fun.

I am glad that you have a relationship with him

Me too...he is my baby. I have 4 kids. He is probably the most like me personality wise. Sometimes it is funny to see so much of yourself in someone else.

I have only one and we fight like "cats & dogs" - the same way I was with my own mom.

I told my daughter, I hope she will try to "discontinue" this dysfunction if she has a daughter. She is 23 and not dating at the moment.

I tried, but finally had to "shut down" this week just like my mom did with me a few years ago.

It has been painful, but now I understand how I made my mom feel. There is just so much anger and hurt you can take when your insides finally go "cold"......

When my younger girl was in her teens every day was a fight. She made a lot of bad choices (just like me...it is hard to watch your children make the same mistakes as you) and for a long time we didn't have a relationship. We have been working on it for the last few years and are really close now. She lives very far away and I am lucky if I get to see her twice a year. I am flying out to see her again in February (I think). Maybe it is that you and your daughter are so much alike. Sometimes it is good to take a break.

Hi Conniem:

You do understand and you are so right, my daughter and myself are "twins" just like me and my mom (lol).

It takes one person "backing up" to keep the peace.

I think distance does help as you don't want to waste the time you do see each other on fighting.

You are so right about distance! My mom and I live 4 1/2 hrs away. It is a nice buffer so I miss out on the day to day stuff between her & my sister.

As I get older I think I try harder to maintain a relationship. I just wish everyone else would try harder to be more healthy!

I guess I cannot blame my daughter for being how she is right now as I am staying with her while I finish up a temporary job before heading back home to my boyfriend and our dog. We live in Phenix City, Alabama and I have been in Orlando, Florida since July of this year.

It has been very hard on both of us and her roommate in spite of them being very happy that I am paying a 1/3 of expenses (lol).

I lived in Dothan for a year at Ft. Rucker. I loved Alabama but my allergies didn't!

I bet you are ready to get home. It is nice to visit, but always nicer to be home!

LOL, this is not a "fun" visit but one of trying to keep an income coming in so that I can get another car when I do get back home.

Right now my boyfriend is either walking, taking the bus (when it runs), a cab or a ride.

Not having a car makes it a bigger challenge to get around for job interviews. I did alot of walking (lol), but when BOTH my unemployment and savings ran out - I knew I had to go where I could find a job.

We live in the middle of nowhere here...no public transportation at all. No cabs. My older daughter went without a car for a long time. I know she got tired of asking for rides, but I didn't mind.

Hope you can go home soon!

Thanks conniem

Yes, it gets old pretty fast - back home I could get around alot better. But where my daughter is located, you have to walk to get the city bus.

And with my temporary job, I have to depend on her to get to it.

I have ALWAYS been "independent" and this is killing me.

But what keeps me going is that it is TEMPORARY and with continued hard work and staying focused I will get back home.

Okay, Angela--just picked up on your being Phenix City! lol!

Wow! You've been staying with your daughter since July & you're both still living?!! LOL! I love my mom dearly, and would do just about anything for her, but when she was in that wreck on the 3rd of November, I stayed with her for 8 days and nights, and I was almost in tears! We're used to both having our own space, and she was just sick of hurting, and of having me there all the time. But back to you--I'd say that if you've been there that long, you're doing a good job!

I'm very blessed to have a great relationship with my daughter, who is 19. God knew what He was doing when he made Brandi for me. She and I are nothing alike--if we were, I wouldn't like her! LOL! No, I just mean that we wouldn't get along. She's very passive and compliant, and I'm controlling and assertive. We're a mom and daughter made in Heaven! We butt heads every once in a while, but most of the time, we're good.

Hi Kitten:

LOL, glad you caught on.

I used to be the Walking Editor, resigned and then came back as a regular poster "Phenix City".....

Then decided to go back to my "playful" self (the one that got nipped as an editor/lol = yep, those rules, which I totally understand).

My avatar is me, the me that is comfortable in her own "skin" and glad to be comfortable again. I did lose two very special ladies in my Walking Forum when I resigned, Walking Granny & my flower - but I thoroughly enjoyed them while I had them. We were family. I am happy to say that Beetle and Rosie still play the "Word Association" game on that forum. Rosie was not going to, but I begged her to go back and keep Beetle company Which she did. Now I am back and play with them as time permits. I am by no means as good at the game as they are, but it keeps me close to my "duo".....

Thanks for sharing about your life - helps me to better understand that EVERY mother-daughter situation is unique. For too many years I felt something was wrong with me. But now I am learning that we have to make each day count with our little darlings, but also know when it is time to get some space in between us (lol).

I am hoping to find another source of income in Phenix City when this temporary job in Orlando ends in March 2011 - if not sooner. Things change at the local university I work at. Of course I would like to be home like yesterday (lol). But working on figuring out a way to bring income into our household - he does not mind, but I am the type that needs to help.

Angela, I have to ask..."nipped as an editor"? What are those rules you mentioned? I can't get into the admin menu right now, and it's got me freaked out. Hope I'm not getting kicked out! I just love writing, and I really don't want to lose my spot here.

I'm glad you joined us here in this forum. Connie is such a sweet person and it's good to see that you guys have hit it off.

I hope the job thing works out for you so you can get back to PC. The economy is so bad here, it's almost a futile task trying to find a job. I'm finishing up training as a medical transcriptionist, but my dream is to have a job as a writer. Maybe someday...

Better get some sleep. Talk to you soon.

Hi Kitten:

I am at work but had to respond as I don't want you "worrying" - you are okay and I am sure Lisa will get back with you soon. Sometimes the site has "glitches" or we as NEW editors are "clueless"

As far as the "nip" part, Lisa has some rules which I totally agree about, but cannot abide by (lol) = so I resigned. I am a "free spirit" and at age 52, finally realizing this. For too many years I have tried to "fit" into whatever slot I felt I needed to fit into.

If no one helps you, give me the details and I will see if I can. I can tell you stories of how many HOURS I spent when I was a NEW editor trying to get stuff posted......