Would you call someone a friend who never asks how you are doing, interrupts you all the time to talk about their life, knows you are depressed or troubled and ignores it, or points out all your mistakes when you just want to vent?

I have someone who says that I am her best friend and we are close. But I have noticed how lately she only wants to talk about her life. My mother almost died and is still not doing well, and she never asks how things are going. I was venting the other day because my husband irritated me. Nothing big, but I just had to get it out of my system. She proceeded to tell me how wrong I was.....

I just do not feel like she is a friend more like an acquaintance.

A true friend would normally be interested in what is happening with your life as well as want to tell you about her life. You should get equal air time or at least some air time to talk and vent. I am not so sure that your friend is as good a friend to you as you are to her.

Generally if one friend has more urgent issues going on than the other maybe some extra air time for this friend is needed. Sometimes the conversation may only be about one person's issues, but normally good friends share things back and forth with each other and are good listeners. They don't become selfish and self-centered with their own needs. And surely a true friend would not insult another friend or otherwise make her feel badly if they don't agree with how this person handles situations in her life.

So sorry to hear about your mother. I hope she will get better soon.

Hey Rebecca. It sounds like she's not very attentive to your needs in the friendship.

I have a friend who does this sometimes - and because I love her, and want to keep her around - I'll point this out to her.

"I really need you to just listen to me - look and me - and don't offer any solutions. Just say 'ah Deanna, that's such a bummer.'"

But I know that's not possible with everyone. I'm sorry your friends hasn't been a very good friend - especially with everything you've been going through. {{{hugs}}}}

I hope your mom is doing better.

Rebecca, I pray your mother is healing.

Your friend is in a place of "ME" and seems incapable of listening and empathizing. Sometimes it is just necessary for us to say to someone, "I need you to listen to me" - like Deanna said. Obviously your friend does not realize she is overlooking your need to express and be heard. If we do not tell our friends what we need from the friendship and if they are not observant enough to listen and empathize, then it is not a true friendship.

I bet Susan Kramer can help you with some meditation on this issue.

I've had people like this in my life, where everything seems to rotate around them. They don't stay in my life for long because of it. I guess, I'd have to say, I don't have many true friends because of it. But I think it's better to have a few really good friends than to have many that aren't. I have to be able to trust in my friends, and with the ones who think everything revolves around them , there isn't that level of trust. I feel that they really WOULDN'T jump through a burning building to save me. But my true friends would without even thinking about it.

Hi rebecca, I was just looking at this post, and am interested how you coped with your friend ? I see it was a month ago when you posted it. It seems to me she isn't a good friend to have around. I have also found that at times friends act in a derogatory way, because they feel their lives aren't as happy, and therefore try to put them down, hoping to make themselves feel better. Either way, I always stay clear of people like that. the whole point of a friend is to make life better / happier, and if not then, life is too short to feel bad in someone elses company. P.S Hope your mom is ok x

yeah most of my friends are like that and I call them as a self-centered character. Perhaps you are right. They are probably in the same boat as you are and is also ventilating but couldn't express directly to their problem. And I stay away from. There are very few and rare kind of people who you could call a friend.

Agree with [b]Gaynor8002[/b] To me she isnt a good friend to have around. A true friend is not just share happiness with each other, but also the sadness. when you are in sad, and need a vent, she can become a good listener to you, just as my friends do. Sometimes when i feel under stress, they will accompany with me. I think this is the true friend.

Real friendship looks at the heart, not just the "packaging." Genuine friendship loves for love's sake, not just for what it can get in return. True friendship is both challenging and exciting. It risks, it overlooks faults, and it loves unconditionally, but it also involves being truthful, even though it may hurt.
In Genesis 18:17-33, we read about God sharing His intentions with Abraham. Abraham responds by telling God his thoughts and feelings about the situation. God and Abraham are able to do this because they trust and respect each other.

Exactly, friends should trust and respect each other