BellaOnline Forums Family Child Loss ever lost your child in his early age?

Hi all,i just discovered this place and i thought i might have a few people who lived a story similar to mine and would like to share it. I lost my son in 1984 when he was just 8 months old in an accident while my sister was taking him to my office.since then,i've been living with no real purpose in life and i still don't think i have a reason to live.i've thought about giving an end to my life,but i could never let myself do it.my psychiatrist said it would really help me if i knew other women who had been in the same situation and it would also help them out.somebody also told me that sharing our stories make us know that somebody has been thru worse things. if you have been in the same situation as mine,or you lnow someone who's been in the same situation,please send me a Private Message.thanks

cindylove, I just want to tell you how sorry I am for your loss. I know the feeling of living without a real purpose in life. I lost my little boy, too. He was older though.

If it is any consolation at all, I was taught that mothers who lose their babies will have a chance to raise them on the other side. In other words, you will cradle him in your arms once again and be able to nurture him as he grows in spirit.

Someone told me a great story about how we don't really leave our loved ones behind. They simply move onto their new existence and will be in our future. As if we got off the train while they sped off to our mutual destination. It helps me to think of it as though my son is at school with the angels, like a heavenly daycare. He is safe and happy. I just need to get on with this earthly life to learn what I was sent to learn so I can rejoin him soon.

You have lived with this burden for a long time. My son died 9 years ago. I'm sad to know that the pain will never dull or go away...

Hi Cindylove, I'm very sorry for your loss. I lost my son when he was 6yrs old and I can identify with everything you said above. I know the horror of the depression and the weight of hopelessness that you live with. Like Flutterby378 said it's also terrible to know that the pain will never truly go away. It seems life after loss is about adaptation and endurance more than anything else. We parents who've lost our children have an enormous, impossible burden to carry throughout our lives and it all feels too much sometimes. I know I've certainly contemplated how wonderful it would be to just give up and end it all. But all I can say is DON'T. I know that we are too meet our loved ones in the next life. My boy has shown me this directly and this thing called life is but a brief interlude before we are all reunited again. So just keep strong and believe in your 8 month old son. He is waiting and wants you to live the fullest life you can before then.

Take care Cindylove...

Neville

hi cindylove I also lost my son, in 1985, through an accident, but he was a bit older. I can only console myself by looking at other people who have lost children and in ways that are much worse, how do they cope? It has been a long time to other people, but seems like yesterday to us. Even professional people cannot understand this, why would they? They do not have that part of life experience. Also I became closer to my other child and together we have supported each other. I too wanted to end my life but then I considered that my husband and other child would have suffered another loss, but grief totally consumes you. If you believe in the afterlife then you will have the wonderful assurance that you and your child will be reunited once again. I know that my child is my angel and he is always with me. He came to me one year in the form of an all pink butterfly which is not a known species, as I looked in all the books and couldn't find it. Losing a child never leaves you, even if the wound closes, the scar will always be there...... just know that there are people who have been through the same thing and who care........

Hello Ladies.......wow, you are all Members of the Awful Club. I have been a member since 1974 when my father accidentally flew his airplane into the ground, killing himself, my mother and my two sons, ages 4 and 9. I am 67 now and can say to you that the pain does change, there is a purpose in what has occured in your lives, and you are strong enough to stand your loss. Folly, huh? No. I was fortunate enough to have had a strong, shall we say, metaphysical component to this event, which would take a while to speak about, but those factors helped me deal with this experience. I never had any more children because I was the only child and had a brother die before I was born, so there was a wee bit of pressure on me and I didn't know how I would handle that trip for another Soul. I wished I could lift you all into later life so you could see how much you were needed Here because you are each unique and without you, what would we do? You bring special talents and ways of Loving to this earth school, and your children who graduated want you to complete your classes and know that they are fine. They will come to you in dreams and various other disguises, so come up for air and be comforted. Find ways to honor your child that will benefit other people or animals for that matter. Everyone has a nearly impossible burden to carry, but we carry it because it is our job, our Gift to others on this journey. I have absolute faith and knowledge that you all are strong enough to endure what has happened and I know that it is not easy. Always wanted to design a T-shirt about being a member of the club because it makes people uncomfortable, so why not just let it hang out there and be proud of your strength! Not everyone is called upon to endure this. Now, all of you get the help that you need to get through the day, and to not hurt the other ones you love, or to blame them, and you'll see your compassion grow like a beautiful blossom for others who face similar or even completely different horror shows and you'll know what to say and when to say it. Talk to your children who have passed, I salute you and your strength and am proud to be able to even know you know you in this small way. Everything is going to be all right. I will promise you that. Now have some chocolate. RNConnie

My daughter was a special needs child. She passed away in 2006 at age 4. It is very difficult at times, but for me I have been able to go on by not letting the lessons I and so many others learned from her go by the wayside. I have seen changes in some people just from knowing her and I. I decided to move forward by helping the school my daughter attended. In some ways helping other special needs children is healing for me. It makes me feel that my daughters life was given to me as her mom for a reason. Not just to love her and learn about myself, but for all of us to remember what is truly important in life. It has been a experience having people I did not know but knew my daughter introduce themselves. How a 4 year old could touch so many. I wish all of you the best. You are not alone. Watching my daughter suffer, and pass away was the hardest thing I will ever face. Yet at the same time she taught me some of the greatest lessons of life.

I'm so sorry for every ones lost
I also lost my son who was killed at 13 yrs old
That was 25yrs ago and still impacts my life today