logo
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 2 of 5 1 2 3 4 5
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 1,207
BellaOnline Editor
Chipmunk
Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Chipmunk
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 1,207
Joy, great article, and Monica, I really liked what you had to say about Eckhart Tolle's approach too. I would say this is very Buddhist also - that part of the Buddhist path is learning to let go of our expectations, judgment and control, and just deal with what 'is'. And that really is the key to lowering our stress - AND to being able to be happy with our life no matter what is going on.


Lisa Erickson, Buddhism Editor
Buddhism Site
Teaching and Private Session Website: Enlightened Energetics
Blog: Mommy Mystic
Sponsored Post Advertisement
Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 14,392
BellaOnline Editor
Highest Posting Power Known to Humanity
Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Highest Posting Power Known to Humanity
Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 14,392
Maybe there's something strange in my brain, but i would like to discuss specific ways to expect the unexpected.

For example, say i am looking forward to a hike with a friend. Should I assume that there's a good chance it won't happen? In my recent case I had an actual plan for this, then my cat died and my friend's cousin died...neither of us were in any shape to be social. But I feel sad that my one day i made a plan to hike with someone fell through.

In this case, when i make a plan, should I mentally allow space for it to not happen, or at least not go as expected?

Another example - I am thinking i want a vacation from this heat here and being trapped in the AC. I am trying to plan a camping trip in the mts or something where i can actually get outside. Would it be best, once I have plans made, to allow for it to possibly rain the whole time, or be really bad with mosquitoes, or something else unfortunate that keeps me from being outside? Or that I might have a car accident or get sick or something?

I am not being flippant - i am really serious. I want to be happy and i think disappointment gets in the way at times. How exactly does one expect the unexpected?

Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 4,906
Elephant
Offline
Elephant
Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 4,906
I get where you're coming from Jill. It's hard to let go of wanting to feel in control and allowing events to be in charge vs. the other way around.

We're in CA for 5 days and we planned to go hiking in Big Bear but guess what when we got here we forgot all our gear. How retarded is that! I could freak about it or we can go with the flow and MacGyver our hiking for the next 3 days.

I prefer the MacGyver path. No sense in worrying or stressing or wishing things were different. They are what they are and we must deal or as E.T. says surrender to the moment.

Maybe you and your friend could've still met but not for hiking. Maybe something less physical that would've helped you both feel better. It's just a matter of letting go of expectations and looking at what's in front of you and doing the best you can at that moment.

Sure you can plan for your whole trip to get rained on but then again maybe you'll be carrying so much gear and get overly exhausted and then no rain or mosquitos will ever come.

We planned for nothing but rain on our trip to Oregon Washington in June and when we got there it was hot and no rain all week and we had packed so much friggin gear it hardly fit in the trunk. We were just laughing about our expectations the entire time laugh laugh



Monica Neave ISSA Certified Fitness Therapist

Get Your Best Female Figure with the most overlooked workout strategy.

Burn more fat with Fatloss Workouts that work!


Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 1,174
J
BellaOnline Editor
Parakeet
OP Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Parakeet
J
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 1,174
Originally Posted By: ExerciseEditor
Hi Joy, I kept meaning to tell you this was a great article. I used to get all bent out of shape about all kinds of things a few years back then I just realized that it wasn't worth it to spend my energy on that...
Hi Monica, thanks for your kind feedback, also for the 2 links! (JOY)

Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 1,174
J
BellaOnline Editor
Parakeet
OP Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Parakeet
J
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 1,174
Originally Posted By: Lisa - Buddhism

Always Expect The Unexpected

Joy, great article, and Monica, I really liked what you had to say about Eckhart Tolle's approach too. I would say this is very Buddhist also - that part of the Buddhist path is learning to let go of our expectations, judgment and control, and just deal with what 'is'. And that really is the key to lowering our stress - AND to being able to be happy with our life no matter what is going on.
Lisa, many thanks for your Buddhist insight into this topic. (JOY)

Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 1,174
J
BellaOnline Editor
Parakeet
OP Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Parakeet
J
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 1,174
Originally Posted By: Jilly
Maybe there's something strange in my brain, but i would like to discuss specific ways to expect the unexpected. For example, say i am looking forward to a hike with a friend. Should I assume that there's a good chance it won't happen? �

Another example - I am thinking i want a vacation from this heat here and being trapped in the AC. I am trying to plan a camping trip in the mts or something where i can actually get outside. Would it be best, once I have plans made, to allow for it to possibly rain the whole time, or be really bad with mosquitoes, or something else unfortunate that keeps me from being outside? Or that I might have a car accident or get sick or something?...
Hi Jilly, in answer to your 2 queries, �Expecting the Unexpected� is being aware of the fact that there�s always the chance that a trip or event may not happen. Decide in your mind what you would do if it came to that. That way, when things do not go to plan, you are much less disappointed and already have options in place for what you would do instead. (JOY)

Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 1,515
R
Chipmunk
Offline
Chipmunk
R
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 1,515
I'm told by many that by expecting the unexpected that I'm being pessimistic. Yet, when a curve ball is thrown at me, I manage to go with the flow and keep panic at bay.

Ways I expect the unexpected? If I am to go to the store, I always check to see what is needed or we will starve in case something happens like car trouble, a meeting I forgot, or anything to prevent me going to the store. That way I know that a quick stop at a convenient store that is open 24 hours will get us through the night. In a way, I always look at worse case scenario and try to be prepared.

Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 1,174
J
BellaOnline Editor
Parakeet
OP Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Parakeet
J
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 1,174
Originally Posted By: Rebecca - History
I'm told by many that by expecting the unexpected that I'm being pessimistic...
Hi Rebecca, it's strange that they see that as "being pessimistic". Your examples of how you prepare for all eventualities is just being a realist. After all, you never know what's 'around the corner'. (JOY)

Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 6,240
BellaOnline Editor
Tiger
Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Tiger
Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 6,240
I think for me, expecting the unexpected is not necessarily planning that things won't go as I expected, but more going with the flow.

For instance, Wednesday and Thursday I had all these plans. Then my mom had to go to the ER for a uterine tract infection. I thought I would get to take her home yesterday - nope. So, now my plans for today are pretty much shot too.

As I'm feeling frustrated about canceling plans (again) I tell myself, well, thank heavens it's not something terribly serious like LAST month when she was in the hospital.

And since I have to run into town ANYWAY to go see her, I'll stop at a store I normally wouldn't.

And since I'll be running around, I'll pick up a Low Carb Burger for lunch - and that will be nice and easy.

So, where I'm aware that things may not go my way, I know I'm capable of going with the flow, and finding another way around it.

With the loss of your kitty, I know this is much harder. But you've been allowing yourself to grieve - and that's healthy. You then, basically, are doing what's best for you now, in this moment. You are dealing with the unexpected.

I had someone tell me once that maybe these unexpected things were the Universe's way of getting me back on track.

But, I believe that sometimes it's just simply not about us - and we make adjustments to get back on course.



Deanna Joseph

Visit the New Age Site and Forums

What are your Soul Gifts? Discover your true nature and potential, and learn who you are on a Soul Level with a Soul Realignmentâ„¢ reading.

Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 1,515
R
Chipmunk
Offline
Chipmunk
R
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 1,515
Especially in my life because the odds are the unexpected will happen. I look at it as being smart.

Page 2 of 5 1 2 3 4 5

Moderated by  JOY (Self Development) 

Link Copied to Clipboard
Brand New Posts
Inspiration Quote
by Angie - 03/28/24 03:28 PM
Psalm for the day
by Angie - 03/28/24 03:26 PM
Make It Sew Easier
by Cheryl - Sewing Editor - 03/27/24 04:34 PM
2024 - on this day in the past ...
by Mona - Astronomy - 03/27/24 01:31 PM
Planner Template Kit - Weekly Layout Template
by Digital Art and Animation - 03/26/24 07:39 PM
Planner Template Kit - Yearly Layout Template
by Digital Art and Animation - 03/26/24 07:37 PM
How to Use Digital Planner Template Kit
by Digital Art and Animation - 03/26/24 07:36 PM
Review - 20 Illustrator Color tips Helen Bradley
by Digital Art and Animation - 03/26/24 07:32 PM
March Equinox to June Solstice
by Mona - Astronomy - 03/26/24 12:27 PM
Hobotrader unleashes never seen opportunity with i
by Jamal molla - 03/26/24 11:55 AM
Sponsor
Safety
We take forum safety very seriously here at BellaOnline. Please be sure to read through our Forum Guidelines. Let us know if you have any questions or comments!
Privacy
This forum uses cookies to ensure smooth navigation from page to page of a thread. If you choose to register and provide your email, that email is solely used to get your password to you and updates on any topics you choose to watch. Nothing else. Ask with any questions!


| About BellaOnline | Privacy Policy | Advertising | Become an Editor |
Website copyright © 2022 Minerva WebWorks LLC. All rights reserved.


Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5