BellaOnline Forums Family Child Abuse Need advice...

I know what to do and need ideas on how to approach it. BW was playing at her friend's (lets call her Lisa) house, and when I went to pick her up yesterday, Lisa's mom Tracy, ask me to come in she need it my help. There is a neighbor that does not speak English and I thought that they were having some sort of feud and she wanted me to translate. Well, the guised of the matter is that the girls, Lisa, BW, plus 2 more girls and 5 boys were there, they were all playing together at her house and neighborhood. They were telling us that the neighbor's daughter, a will call her Lucy, has been making passes and obscene gestures and touches all of them. Lucy, touches them on their privates, smack their butts, and and in a party at her house' pool back in May, she was actually asking them if they wanted to see her naked; some of the girls stayed overnight and they say that she got naked, spread her legs and told them to touch her and leak her. Mine was not there that night, she went to the party but could not sleep over, and Lisa and another girl, called Tracy and asked to be picked up, but they did not say why. It turns out that they boys are also uncomfortable and the finally decide it to tell Tracy and me all, after about 6 weeks of ths abuse. Tracy has forbidden, Lucy to play with her daughter, and I have done the same with mine, but honestly they were relief that we will not let them play anymore with her. As for the other kids, they just plainly avoid her, and the rumor mill as moving and Lucy has her supporters and thinks are going to get ugly, I can tell, but this is an issue that need to be addressed. Tracy wants to go there but since the mom speaks no English whatsoever, it is hard for her to explain, and I just do not know how to approach it, I cannot go just pointing and accusing even though that what I should do. This is a very serious situation and I am afraid that Lucy has been abused by somebody at her house, everything I have learn thru CSA is that kids do not do this on their own, she had to learn from somewhere or somebody and she has been very explicit on her behaviour to make feel that this is the case. But I cannot go accusing anybody, specially since I do not know them that well. And I do not know what reaction will the Mom have when I present the facts, more than 10 kids have made the same allegations and I do not think that they are making it up, BW has gone through this already and she was very upset, the other kids are afraid to be near Lucy. The worse is that they say it happened at school and at the park but they waited so long to speak. With all of them going to a new school next year they want to clear the bups before they get there and finally broke theri silent, Thank God. If we go talk to the MOM and she laughs it out, like she has been doing 'til now, so I am told, is going to be bad. There was an incident at school before they got out, where Lucy had somehow trick a girl into writing obscenity on her yearbook and then another girl follow the first (the 2nd one is not so innocent on the obscenity part, I do not like her and BW stop toalking to her because of her vocabulary), and then Lucy took the yearbook to a teacher, knowing what the girls had written down, and asked the teacher to sign it, well the teacher saw the comments and the 2 girls lost their end of the year part and promotion celebrations for that, but Lucy walked away without any type of punishment. And the 1ist girl that got in trouble is Muslim, know I can only imagine her parents reaction. Can you guys, please help and give some ideas on how do we approach Lucy's mom and tell her what is going on and make her understand the seriousness of the situation? Thank you for keeping up with me. Bella

You really need to tell the school or school board asap. They have the means to alert authorities that 10 children are reporting the same thing. It WILL be taken seriously. This child does not know she is setting herself up for failure and a seriously bad reputation because of what has happened to her. Seems to me that child needs intervention asap and the school will have knowledge of the programs available and how to proceed. The authorities will also have a translator available to tell her what is going on and to explain what is/is not acceptable from a cultural viewpoint as well. There will be a court ordered medical exam. Most likely the child will be taken from the home, and the family sent for counseling, if the medical exam proves abuse. This is one time when the saying "It takes a village to raise a child" is very true. This child needs your community to step up and help her, even tho doing so is uncomfortable for all concerned. Hope this helps. Glo

Contact the authorities. This behavior is not normal for a child of any age. My biggest concern is where did this child learn this behavior??? Children do not learn this kind of stuff by themselves which likely means she has been or is being abused sexually.

You do not state how old the child is that this involves (or I missed it some where in your post) but regardless the girls behavior is screaming for help and in addition she is creating a trail of victims. Do not rely on the school to handle this appropriately. The authorities must be notified.

Go to the local police department immediately with any of the children and parents who know about this girls behavior. It must be reported!