Hello...I could really use some advice on this one so if you think you'd be able to help me out, don't be afraid to speak your mind. Here goes. My girlfriend and I have been dating for almost a year and a half, and while when things are great they're more than awesome, when things are bad...they're pretty damn bad. When we first started dating of course everything was great, as every new relationship is...nothing major. But then a little time went by and my gf started controlling who I spoke to...all my old friends I knew before I met her I was made to write off and she had me tell her my pw to every site I had a membership with...myspace, facebook and both my email accounts...I had never set up rules for her to stop talking to anyone...it kinda was a a one way street. In fact, I met a few of her friends who later began talking down on me to her and discouraging our relationship. When asked for a reason why I culd no longer talk to anyone I considered friends her response was that they were all drug addicts and just not good people. Shortly thereafter, she started hitting me when we would fight. First time was due to a little bit of alcohol and an amphetamine I'm not willing to write here. She dragged me out onto our porch and proceeded to tell me I was worthless and throw all my belongings out onto the porch with me. Needless to say of course she apoligized and life rolled on. About a month or two after that, we had been drinking heavily at a friends house and she was so drunk she passed out before me...I helped her into bed and I wanted to lay down with her but she told me no, so I went out on our friends couch and told him to go fall asleep in there with her and make sure she was ok. This was her friend, not mine, so making that choice I was pretty much thinking okay, she'll be comfortable enough waking up next to him. Well. She wasn't. (I forgot to mention we both popped anti anxiety pills while we were drinking) to my surprise the next morning I was woken up to her ripping me off the couch asking me what the [censored] happened cuz she couldn't remember...she then smacked me so hard across the face, my tooth broke. She blames it breaking on me not going to get my crown finished, I had just had a root canal. Once again. She apoligized, I took her back. Things were fine. Then a few months had gone by and this time when we got into such heated arguments, id hit her back. We have our own apt. Now and have managed to put a few holes in the wall because of our arguments, and I'm not gonna say I'm totally innocent. Last year I decided to go on a blunt ride with a girl I had sex with once, and my gf totally hates this chick. We were in an argument and had broken up for the moment. I still hear about it to this day. I did tell her about me going tho, and recently found out she decided to wait til a few months ago til I was at work to go on a blunt ride with her ex. Oh, by the way, yeah, she's been keeping in contact with all her exes and multiple people she has slept with in the past, I told her first ex off and she hasn't talked to her since, her second ex I've had to tell off multiple times and she finally got the hint (ill get to that tangent in a second) and sh still is talking to this girl lauren that she was absolutely obsessed with (and probably still is for all I know). Aimee (the one I said I had a tangent about) was the one thing my gurl can't get over. About two months ago, we had a bad fight after I decided to once again, go for a ride with ashley, that girl she hates, and she found out about it and we broke up...again. I stayed out of my apt for the weekend while my gf had the time of her life. During this time, while I was miserable, I later found out (after we had gotten back together) that she had asked aimee if she would ever let her [censored] her again. Of course. Aimee said yes, and while she said yes, my gf claims she never came over. I have no proof whatsoever to back up her claims. she also waited til this time to let me kno about the whole I took a ride with aimee thing. And that was by that point, two months after it had happened. So yeah. It went undetected, un noticed for two. Whole. Months. And she lied. The whole time. So now time has passed and a few more arguments and just girls talking to her like she's single and she loves it...she's a total attention lover. There was even an incedent involving someone who made a ficticious facebook page just to tell her how evil of a person I was. We argue a lot and I feel like a terrible person and we just spew hurtful things at each other to the point of me being so depressed I've attempted suicide twice. And she's miserable...or at least that's what she tells me at times. Now we are both at the point of throwing our hands up for different reasons but we love each other so much it hurts to even think about letting each other go. We need our peace back and were just struggling so hard to find it. Is our relationship hopeless? Is there still a fighting chance to bring it back? I'm not sure...and I don't really have anyone to ask for advice so I figured maybe id ask a whole lot of people at once. Help. She's frustrated and ifeel terrible and I just want things to be normal again. If there's any details I've left out you would like to know, feel free to ask. Thanks.

Nm. She dumped me. Fml.

Your letter was full of honesty. I mightn't have noticed it if it hadn't been listed under Brand New Threads. I'm sorry for your pain and loss. I'd like to talk to you about the future, whether that means a reconciliation with your partner or someone new. I'd like you to know in your heart and mind how everything went wrong, how to prevent it from becoming habitual, and to know that suicide attempts are violence directed at yourself. This is going to take a lot of thinking and planning. You must decide that you are worthy (of living. of being with another worthy person). Domestic violence, mutual combat, verbal abuse, isolation from friends, jealously inducing games, property destruction, and everything else you recognized and wrote of, is NOT healthy or normal in any relationship. Happiness cannot not live on doses of 'highs' brought about by violent/destructive games, drinking, drugs, or make-up sex. You have a rope tied around you with many knots. You have to undo each knot, knowing that you will NEVER allow any to be tied again. A lot of peace and happiness is waiting for you in your future. Go ahead. And when you mess up, figure it out, and carry on.

[quote]Nm. She dumped me. Fml. [/quote] honest advice? i'm glad you're free from her and hopefully it'll stay this way. read the advice posted above me because i couldnt have said it any better. undo those knots!! (without her)

Stay strong as I am another woman who has been abuse the path you are taking is NOT easy but very very much worth it! Ps always willing to chat without any strings attached