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#616311 - 08/10/10 05:27 PM Re: Journalling issues - mainly privacy [Re: IH8FMS]
Deanna Joseph Offline
Elephant

Registered: 02/18/06
Posts: 4800
Loc: Southern California
Wow, that's a tough one. A few years ago my husband and I were going through a really difficult time. I wrote out how unhappy I was and that I was contemplating divorce. Then I left my journal on the bed (i guess). He told me a couple of months later (we were fighting) that he'd read my journal and he knew I hated him. I looked at him - at first shocked - then I burst out laughing. Served him right LOL.

Now I make sure my journal is tucked away in a drawer.

I went back and reread some of my old journals - and was surprised at the complaining and negativity. So I threw them out. Honestly, after I'm gone, I want those journals to reflect who I was... not some gripey complainy housewife! It taught me to focus more on moving forward, releasing and forgiving. I still post my honest thoughts, but rather than just venting, I try to be more proactive. It makes me feel better.
_________________________
Deanna Joseph
Bringing Heaven on Earth



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#617797 - 08/16/10 05:12 AM Re: Journalling issues - mainly privacy [Re: Deanna Joseph]
IH8FMS Offline
Jellyfish

Registered: 07/09/09
Posts: 189
Loc: USA
As far as I'm concerned, a person who would read another person's journal without their permission, ESPECIALLY one who'd throw what they read in the journaler's face later, is not a nice person. He or she is a nasty, icky individual.

I've probably told this story before... if I have, forgive the repetition. Anyway, many years ago, I was engaged to marry a fellow who was totally into control. He was not religious at all, but he was one of those people I like to call One-Verse Charlies, who latch on with the tenacity of a pit bull to a single Bible verse, ideation, or passage (totally ignoring all the rest of it) and live by it, and try to force everyone else to live by it in a totally ham-fisted way! His verse? The one(s) about Wives submitting to husbands as unto the Lord.

One day he told me in a very matter of fact, this-is-just-the-way-it-is manner that once we were married everything of mine would be his, so that meant he was going to be entitled to read all my journals old and new. I don't think so, was my reply. He kept pushing and became more and more adamant, and the more I refused (finally declaring that I would burn the *%$# things rather than have him read them!) the madder he got, finally playing the secrets card and accusing me of "having something to hide."

I did not have a thing to hide, I truthfully replied; it was just the principle of privacy and respect for a person as an individual. I would never read HIS journals if he had any. He didn't get it; he went off on a tear about how a wife was "not a person, not an individual, but property of her husband and was to submit to him as unto the Lord. "As unto THE LORD!" he declared, voice rising.

He hated it when I rolled my eyes like a recalcitrant teenager!

Well, that was the first of many red flags in THAT relationship! Once again my journal had been a helpful friend to me, albeit indirectly this time. How glad I am that I did not marry that guy!
_________________________
Be Well,
Doxi
Founder & Chief Whiner
S.N.E.R.T.s
Survivors of Nearly Every Rotten Thing

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