i have an adopted brother but i consider him as a real brother. he is older than me by 3 years. when we were young (probably like i was 7 and he's 10), we would fight and it was physical. when he punches me, i bite him or i pull his hair. he is bigger than me so he has that much strength. even as we grew up, he would still hurt me like than. he would do it even if there were other people around (like my classmate or a neighbor) and even if my parents are there. one time, he slapped my face and it got so red and quite swollen for a short time.
in 2000, my father got sick. starting that year until present, he undergoes dialysis so he has become weak. on the other hand, my brother grew bigger. when he gets drunk, he becomes violent and hurts even my mom and dad.
there was this time when he pushed my father and my father fell on the ground and his nose (i think) bled. when i tried to intervene, he pushed me aside and i almost hit my head on the wall.
he now has a family of his own but he sometimes still lives in our house. i don't want to be home when he's there so i don't stay with my parents as of now. sometimes his wife and kid also stays at home and i feel really awkward and uncomfortable. it has been years since we talked (aside from the "is mama there?"). his wife told my mom that he's better or nicer now and even my mom says so. according to my mom, he also still drinks but not as much.
i understand that my mom loves him, but i just can't stand it when he's there. i'm scared of him but i'm trying not to show it when i see him. my parents keep on telling me to come home but i don't want to. i feel like so much has happened and i just can't seem to handle it.
am i a bad daughter/sister?
i'm sorry if this post is long. i tried making it concise. there's just plenty of details.
