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#588856 03/04/10 11:47 AM
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I am a stay at home mother of three children. I am very proactive to their academics and overall health. My greatest wish is that they are healthy, spiritual and always do some charity for the world. But I am not happy. I hate making all the decisions all the time and being in constant crisis management. My husband travels a lot and I am alone to handle all. He is a great father but I do not know if it is enough for me. I have been in diapers for 12 years. I quit a big career to raise a family and to be support for my husband's career. I loved being a mom with my first two. When my second child was off to full time school, I was ready to be out in the world but I got pregnant. We planned the other two kids to the day. I feel some higher power wanted me to have a third. My boy is very charming but this is so hard. Now when I have any free time, I sit in front of the computer and tv. I do not get time to go out by myself much. I do not want to be with the children unless I am feeding, running to them to sports or music classes or helping them with homework. I am irritated a lot. I truly believed if I worked hard, I would be happy. Help! I am drowning.

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Gecko
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I know that trying to care for 3 children all the time without much help can be a lot to have on your plate. I myself raised 3 children pretty much on my own and it was always trting my nerves as well as not much time to myself. Unfortunately, when you have small children they are a full time job of 24/7.

Make the commitment to twice a month having some time for you. Ask a relative or a reliable close friend to have either a play date or for a babysitting favor so you can go out and have some "me time". Everyone needs that and if you could get that twice a month, it will make all the world for you.

Also check into some local services to see if you can get the kids involved with some local programs to get them out of the house, even if it is only an hour a week, it will seem like a heaven -sent when you truly need it!

I wish you the best and hope you can get the break you need.


Proud Pagan
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Thank you for your prompt and kind suggestion. Unfortunately even if I get 3x a month break, I crave more. They only thing that works and is pretty much temporary is exercising everyday. I want 2 weeks away from all of them. After 12 years, I do not feel I will ever climb out.

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I feel for you but this too shall pass. It probably seems like there is not end in site but there is - I promise. I am now 60 and have raised 5 children and had to take care of my ailing parents on top of it when the kids were still very young. But in the blink of an eye - it was over and I went to work as a school secretary (9 months per year), worked for 20 years and retired 2 years ago to take care of my grandchildren. The best thing for you really is some alone time everyday. When the kids were little, I would walk 1 mile every day. It actually meant hiring a neighborhood teenager to watch them for that 45 minutes. But it was so worth it! I came back calmer and far less stressed. Soon, there were several of us that walked together and talked - it was the best therapy in the world. If you continue to feel the way you do - it would not hurt to check on the possibility of mild depression. I feel for you but I promise you this will go faster than you can imagine! Don't worry about keeping the house perfect, or fixing perfect meals - you will have time for that later. I wish you the best - motherhood is not a piece of cake! However, it is truly a rewarding experience once you get beyond this stage. Chrys


Moderated by  Lisa - Moms, Traci - Moms 

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