Hi
my son and daughter in law share the work load -- both have jobs, both do housework and both share the childcare of their two young children. My son works at "mr mom" usually 2 days a week while my d-i-l is working and she does the same on the other three days.
They apear to share all aspects of work, inside and outside the home as well as caring for their children. However, I have noted that when it comes to making decisions on the little childrens' routines, doctors appointments, clothing they need etc, that my daughter in law is the one who ultimately has final say in these things. Both appear happy with this arrangement. Son has some imput of course - they talk about stuff and decide together -- but generally my daughter in law is the final decision maker in this area.
She's also the one that gets up nights with the youngest. My son will attend their oldest child during the night but this is rare. So my son is generally getting better sleep than my daughter in law. Although he does make big efforts to get up early and feed and attend to kids needs in the morning so she can catch up on sleep. But she's looking more tired than he is so I'd say that during the night she's carrying the major load, there.
Oh, the beauty of it. My son has admitted to me, his whole family and his workmates, that it's easier to be at work outside the home than home all day caring for two little ones. He loves the opportunity to be there with them as they grow and be a real hands on parent but acknowledges that it's more demanding work the days he's home doing it than the days he's out in the outside workforce.
The beauty of it for me: Traditionally young mothers take their little ones visiting to their mother's places. I'm speaking generally but I did. So my mother got to see more of her grandkids than my husband's mother did. But with my son being a 'mr mom' means I get to see my grandkids when he comes visiting me on his days 'on' with my grandkids. Of course, this wouldn't be possible if I was out at work during the week as so many women of my age are, but I have a chronic illness that prevents me working outside the home.